?: Young woman is US soldier's fiancee & already has child w/him

[Divernan]

Should he be killed in Iraq/Afghanistan, how will the govt. treat her and/or their child re benefits? In other words, what would be the difference because they have never married?

[Midlodemocrat]

1. The child is eligible, she's not AFAIK.

Hopefully, he will return home safely.

[Divernan]

2. Thanks. Do you know what benefits a young widow would receive?

If they married - he's home for a short holiday - what do widows receive? I don't know if he's regular Army or national guard.

[MADem]

4. She gets an ID card. He needs to designate her on his SGLI, NOW, if he hasn't already.

http://www.militarywidows.org/

Good website for widows...and widowers...of service personnel. It's got most of the info you seek.

[MADem]

3. If she is named as his SGLI beneficiary, she gets the money

That would be around 400K. Whoever is named to get the balance of his pay (whatever he had earned since the last payday, plus the balance of his base pay for the leave he hadn't yet taken) would get that. If no designation, it would go to his kid (PNOK--primary next of kin). The "death benefit" money would end up going to the funeral home for his funeral, because it ain't that much, via whoever was arranging the funeral--if the "fiancee" was doing it on behalf of the PNOK (the minor child) it would go through her to the funeral home. The CACO would help with that.

If, however, the servicemember has designated, say, his MOTHER, as the beneficiary of his SGLI, the "fiancee" and the child get no money. The child gets an ID card, access to the base, and access to military medical facilities/TRICARE until he reaches 18, or up to 24 if he goes to college.

If she doesn't marry him, and he dies, she gets NO commissary, exchange, and military medical benefits. It makes it harder for her to use those benefits on behalf of her child, certainly.

[Divernan]

5. Thanks for the link - I'll check it out & pass info on to "fiancee's"

Mom, who works for my SO. I'm a strong believer in people getting married if they decide to have kids.

[MADem]

6. If there are children, and one parent is going to Iraq, I say MARRY, NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Or Afghanistan, for that matter. Or on any military assignment, really--you can get killed crossing the street.

Do it in a state with easy divorce laws, if you aren't sure, and sign a basic prenup, if you aren't too sold on the relationship. But do it. It's good insurance, and it's tougher for the caregiver of the children to access those military benefits without that marriage connection.

EDIT--give this link to the Mom, too: http://www.militaryhomefront.dod.mil/dav/lsn/LSN/BINARY_RESOURCE/BINARY_CONTENT/1936651.pdf

It is a bit sobering, but it explains what happens, and it sort of lets one know what can happen when one person gets the SGLI, the other person gets the death benefit, and a third person gets to dispose of the remains....we've all seen these stories, where the wife wants one thing and the parents want something else...the wife gets the death benefit, the kids get the life insurance, and the parents get to decide where the kid is buried...and it ends up in a big fight.