4 -year-old Accused of Improperly Touching Teacher

[NNN0LHI]

http://www.kxxv.com/Global/story.asp?S=5785699

BELLMEAD- A four-year-old hugged his teachers aide and was put into in-school suspension, according to the father. But La Vega school administrators have a different story.

Damarcus Blackwell's four-year-old son was lining-up to get on the bus after school last month, when he was accused of rubbing his face in the chest of a female employee.

The prinicipal of La Vega Primary School sent a letter to the Blackwells that said the pre-kindergartener demonstrated "inappropriate physical behavior interpreted as sexual contact and/or sexual harassment."

Blackwell says it's ridiculous that the aide would misread a hug from a four-year-old. Blackwell wrote to administrators demanding that the whole incident be expunged from his son's academic file because his son is too young to know what it means to act sexually.

[malaise]

1. They should run these adult perverts

as far from children as possible.

[Redstone]

2. I can't fucking stand much more of this. I just can't.

What has happened to this country?

Redstone

[Poll_Blind]

9. I dunno, but it ain't good. n/t

PB

[Toots]

80. The Puritans have returned with a vengence

Religious Puritans are obsessed with sex. Nothing else matters to them..

[mike_c]

3. "...behavior interpreted as sexual contact..." from a four year old...?

Whoever decided that should be fired-- someone who knows so little about children should not be running a school. No four year old can express genuine sexuality, even when they mimic adult sexual behavior.

[zreosumgame]

4. what jerks

I KNOW 4 year olds, the kid was rubbing his snot on her dress or scratching his nose, nothing more, but perverts always see sex in everything.

[Blue_Roses]

82. very true!

nt

[indie_voter]

5. A 4 year old? This is ridiculous

Some times a hug is just a hug. ARRGGG. That poor little kid.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

6. I'd like to hear the teacher's aide's opinon...

considering how she was there.

[opihimoimoi]

7. Its a GOPer...whadda ya expect????

[nini]

8. the behavior may have been inappropriate but..

sexual in nature is pushing it.

I've been around kids about that age that do that subtle breast tweaking or rubbing against an adult in a way they really shouldn't be. These kids need to be talked to about what is appropriate behavior - no doubt.


BUT sexual contact or harassment? :eyes:

[zreosumgame]

11. well yeah, he has not be taught to be ashamed of his body yet...

[nini]

21. WTF??

who said he should be taught to be ashamed of his body?


What I said was he needs to learn boundaries in what is appropriate with OTHER people. This applies if he ACTUALLY did something wrong which isn't quite clear in the article.

There are kids who do things they shouldn't. I've had kids that age squeeze my breasts - it's not ok behavior at that age.

[FedUpWithIt All]

55. I nursed my daughter till she was one...

for TWO years after she would sometimes rub the outside of my breast when giving me a hug. She would do it to my mother as well. She also would rub the earlobes of anyone who would let her until she was 4.

They are still babies doing nothing more than baby things. Hell, at 4 some children are still nursing.

[Cronus Protagonist]

39. Yeah, or maybe he was hungry

He probably just got done sucking on tits for the major part of his life. He probably thinks of them as akin to a soda fountain....

:evilgrin:

[Fridays Child]

10. A four-year old? Fucking ridiculous. That aide should be fired.

Evidently, she (I assume, since most school aides are female) has problems that prevent her from interpreting, and responding appropriately to, the behavior of young children.

Oh, and the district can't comment because of student privacy issues? Bullshit. The father has publicized this and the district can certainly comment on policies without naming children.

[Divameow77]

83. I would assume it's a she

because she has breasts ;-)

[uppityperson]

12. WHAT! Outrageous. Search for other article finds this..

http://www.wacotrib.com/news/content/news/stories/2006/12/12102006_wac_offensivetouching.html
The letter also stated Blackwell's son, who Blackwell requested not be named in this story for privacy reasons, spent the day in in-school suspension (ISS) as punishment for the incident....
Blackwell and his wife, Patricia, say their son does not know why he was sent to ISS.

Blackwell said school officials may have told him the reason for the punishment, but they say as parents, they should have been there when the punishment was explained. A letter from the school district said efforts to telephone the parents about the incident failed. Still, Blackwell said the district should have made more of an effort to include the parents in the issue. School officials refused to comment on the incident, referring to student privacy laws....(more)

I can see stopping a 4 yr old from rubbing his face on a teacher's breats, IF this did happen, but this was not the way to do it. No permanent record. No ISS. Correct the behavior and have another lesson in class on privacy issues, private parts. This is too much.

[sandnsea]

65. ISS for a FOUR year old???

Oh this is just too damn much. It isn't even the pscyhologically appropriate way to discipline a four year old if they actually needed disciplining. I cannot figure out how people got so completely bonkers.

[Rockstone]

13. could have been nursing instinct.

[originalpckelly]

14. DU Forum Notification:

This post could not be completed, as the poster's head exploded.

[ThomCat]

15. This has got to be bible belt lunacy.

x(
They reall think this was sexual harassmant? From a 4 year old? Against an adult? Someone is on drugs. :wtf:

[China_cat]

16. We have so many other ways to punish children

than by striking them. But what alternative is there to a hug? How else do you show a child affection or just plain comfort?

Is it any wonder that our kids are getting to be teenage monsters? Babies left without physical touch die from it. Do children without emotional touch have empathy die? Or do they just never develop it in the first place?

[stillcool]

17. this is in Texas

too much heat/sun burns people's brains?

[smirkymonkey]

43. 90% of the time it's Texas or Florida.

Never fails.

[proud2BlibKansan]

18. We had a 5 year old at my school just last week

grab a classmate's penis and ask if he wanted him to put it in his mouth. An adult overheard this.

Turns out the 5 year old is a victim of sexual abuse.

So to assume that kids this young cannot behave in a sexually inappropriate way is just not true.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

20. Yup.

The aide felt it was inappropriate, so she did the right thing in filing a report.

ISS strikes me as inappropriate for a 4 year old, but I think 4 year olds being in school to begin with is a bit young.

[proud2BlibKansan]

24. And if this child has been molested,

we will never know.

[HiFructosePronSyrup]

25. Well, if he has...

then he's going to need a lot of help by the school system, and they're going to need extensive records of his behaviour.

[proud2BlibKansan]

29. Records which will remain private

[mzmolly]

22. That has nothing to do with this case.

Further the child in your story needs help. The 4 y/o child in "question" was given suspension. Absurd.

[proud2BlibKansan]

28. Once again, as in all these types of stories,

we do not know all the facts. We have no idea if this kid has a history of being sexually abused. If he does, and the aide who works with him knows that, then she did the right thing by reporting it.

BUT WE DO NOT KNOW AND WE WILL NEVER KNOW IF THAT IS THE CASE.

Therefore, I think it is wrong to jump on the bad teacher/bad school bandwagon.

Perhaps this kid did this previously to the same adult or to another adult. But, we don't know that, do we? If that is the case, the parent is not going to admit it and the school is bound by privacy law.

Just once, I wish DUers would be as intuitive about these kinds of stories as they are about so many others posted here.

[mzmolly]

32. If he's being sexually abused do you think suspension is the answer?

I gotta say, I don't.

Further, I think we DO know the kids history due to the fathers statements on the matter. I doubt he'd make a public plea if it were a repeat offense.

[proud2BlibKansan]

36. Oh come on, you must not know many parents

You bet they will go public when their kid looks bad. I could write a book full of stories of parents going to the media with only half a story.

To answer your question, no, I don't think suspension is the answer. But then I don't think any 4 year old should be suspended.

[mzmolly]

46. I do know lots of parents, and I don't think the 4 year old "looks bad" in this case.

I think the school does. I'd like to ask how a 4 year old "looks bad" period? He's FOUR for gosh sakes! Further, if the kid is/was being victimized, his parents would certainly not want to broadcast it. And, if the school suspects abuse, should not the parents be informed and or investigated? The child is a victim here, regardless of scenario, and the school is not "helping."

I agree that suspension of a 4 year old is absurd, which is why I commented to that effect and did not attempt to defend the school.

[proud2BlibKansan]

54. It's not about what you think or what I think

It's about what his parents think.

And sadly, yes, some parents do want it broadcast when their kids are victimized.

If the school does suspect abuse, then, yes, they are legally bound to report it. But, due to privacy laws, we won't ever know if they did or did not report it.

[mzmolly]

56. This parent did not speak about abuse, he spoke about the absurdity

of suspending a 4 year old over a hug. I tend to agree with him.

[proud2BlibKansan]

61. I agree with him too

But what I am trying to point out is that it is not inconceivable that this parent would be covering something up. Happens a lot more than most people realize, unfortunately.

[mzmolly]

75. Fair enough.

Have a good night. :hi:

[seaglass]

53. I agree. It's just like the story about the woman who sued McD's

when she spilled hot coffee on her lap - a lot more to the story than the headlines screamed.

Who knows what the whole truth is? Maybe the teacher aide is an overreacting nutbag or maybe the 4yo is a brat and maybe he's done it before and been warned.

[proud2BlibKansan]

66. My favorite story like this:

A kid got suspended because he found a toy gun on the way to school and turned it in to the principal when he got to school. Mom was on the news, complaining that her baby was being punished for doing the right thing.

I knew that principal. Here's what really happened. The kid found the gun inder a bush while he was waiting for the bus. He later said he had no idea if it was a real gun or not. He put it in his backpack and got on the bus. He pulled the gun out and pointed it at the kids sitting by him. They told the bus driver. She asked the kid to give her the gun. He refused. At this point, she also had no idea if it was a real gun or not. So she pulled the bus over and called the school. The principal came and took the kid off the bus and talked him into giving her the gun. Then she suspended him.

The headline should have said "Kid points gun at students on bus". But Mom called the media and claimed her kid got suspended for "doing the right thing".

[kiahzero]

26. No one's questioning their ability to behave in a sexually inappropriate way

Numerous posters, however, have questioned their ability to intend to act in such a manner.

[proud2BlibKansan]

30. If they think it is okay, you bet they will behave in that manner

[stillcool]

35. What part of this

do you consider 'news'? The act of a child, or the reaction of the adults?

[proud2BlibKansan]

37. I don't understand your question.

Sorry. :shrug:

[stillcool]

59. I'm just really surprised that this is 'news'...

at all. And, from my perspective the entire matter was mis-handled by every school official who participated in the chain of events....to an end that warranted a news article. I just can't understand how the child could possibly be the 'subject'.

[proud2BlibKansan]

63. Yes it does seem like much ado about nothing.

[sandnsea]

67. And in-school suspension is the correct response??

I swear to pete, don't try and twist this into an acceptable response to a four year old's behavior. It's plain out insanity. If someone is concerned about sexual abuse, as they OBVIOUSLY would be in your situation, then you call the authorities and CARE FOR the child. You don't punish him and forget about it.

[proud2BlibKansan]

78. Where did I say we punished the kid?

Sheesh. We didn't forget about him either.

[sandnsea]

79. They did

The child in the OP story. I didn't figure you guys punished the kid, which is why I don't see why you're equating the two situations. They're idiots, you're not. Don't be afraid to defend wise educators by calling stupid ones stupid.

[proud2BlibKansan]

84. I thought you were criticizing us

sorry

[mzmolly]

19. Good Gawd. I'm glad I homeschool.

Sheesh!

[shanti]

23. just when i'd thought that i'd heard it all

:banghead:

[gollygee]

27. 4-year-olds don't respond sexually to breasts, therefore

they have no way of knowing that our culture considers breasts to be sexual objects that should be avoided.

He's just a kid! Now he's probably traumatized that he got into so much trouble over a hug. :(

[mzmolly]

51. Excellent point.

Breasts to wee kids are just squishy things, that, at times contain food.

[Divernan]

31. Duh-uh. A 4 yr. old's face is NOT at the chest level of an adult.

Nothing in the complete article mentions this inconsistency. What was the teacher's aid doing, while lining the kids up to get in the bus, that put her chest at his face level? If she bent down, chances are she may have been touching him - perhaps moving him from one spot to another, in which case it's not like this child walked up to her and groped her or anything.

If I were working with a four year old who did this, I would think that he did this because some other adult allowed or encouraged this kind of behavior. I would tell the child this kind of touching was not allowed, and would be talking to his parents, not disciplining him.

[gollygee]

33. When I lean down to give my 4-year-old a hug

it puts her fact at my chest level. And I have to lean down to hug her.

[ecstatic]

70. Yep. The teacher bent down to hug the young predator

I hope the poor, innocent teacher's aide is able to get the counseling she needs to get over the emotional trauma she experienced when that budding rapist fondled her breasts. :sarcasm:

[alarimer]

34. This is completely ridiculous.

What kind of country are we becoming where a 4 year old can't hug his teacher? What kind of adults will these kids become- after learning that you can't touch anyone and no one can touch you? Jesus H. Christ.

[Sugar Smack]

38. That poor teacher's aide is probably TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE

over what that sluttish four year-old did! I'll bet it sends her into crying jags and PTSD every night from here into forever. At least the kid will probably never be able to bring himself to hug another human being again. It's too bad that poor woman didn't have the physical strength to push that horrible FOUR YEAR OLD away gently, nor the presence of mind to just say, "OK" and let it go. My heart fucking weeps.

Jesus.

[Solly Mack]

40. When I worked with Head Start

Many kids hugged and touched me in ways, without thinking anything about it, that would have gotten a grown man kneecapped. It wasn't sexual in nature - just a child being a child. Such times can be used as a learning experience - "We don't touch people there" (appropriate and inappropriate touching)

Some exhibited alarming sexual behavior, even while they didn't fully understand what they were doing. It was something they had seen or had been done to them.

There IS a difference.

Yes, children as young as 4 (and younger) do engage in sexual behavior - they will masturbate. Sorry to shatter any illusions - but they will and do. They "rock" on their feet or hands while sitting, or they rub themselves. It's normal...it's natural. You don't over-react. I would simply ask them to stop and go wash their hands if needed. That school wasn't the place for that. No harm. No foul. If the behavior persisted, I would ask the on site social worker to have the parents have a talk with the child. (Not fun - some parents take it as a personal affront)

If the behavior was accompanied by a new "colorful" vocabulary, I'd alert the on site social worker immediately.

I always made notes in my teacher's logs about such behavior.

Very young kids don't tend to know their behavior is sexual or to express what they are doing in sexual terms. They don't understand the concept of sexuality. I've never met a 5 year old that did anyway.

There was the alarming sexual behavior that did need immediate attention. The "acting act" variety of sexual behavior. The type of sexual behavior indicative of something very wrong. Such behavior is reported immediately.

There is a normal level of body exploration in young kids. Then there is the kind of behavior that sends warning signals and should be investigated.

I've dealt with both.

You get to know the kids you work with and you learn their habits and their personalities. You know when a behavior is "normal" for them and when it isn't. You know when something changes.

I've worked with a lot of sexually and physically abused children under the protection of the courts. I could tell horror stories about my kids - and they were my kids. That's how I thought of them.


It would take more than a child nestling their head in my chest while giving me a hug to set my alarm bells off.

Is this the child's personality? Is this action different? Has anything changed? Are there any other signs that might lead me to think it was more than a hug?

But that's just me

[Dastard Stepchild]

41. Excellent response...

I was going to say something quite similar. :) Not that I am the authority on the subject, but when you work in social services, as I do, you see the gamut of childhood behaviors, and sexual actions (even if misunderstood or not fully understood by the child) are definitely on that list.

Children are many time exploring the boundaries of appropriate behavior without understanding the context of their actions. And then other times, as you mention, it is a GLARING red flag that something is really wrong.

edited for spelling.

[Solly Mack]

44. You are an authority - social services see it all

Nothing new under the sun in that job. You folks see it all.

Thank you for your words!!

[proud patriot]

42. all excellent points , I'm a pre-school teacher

the suspension astonishes me . The reaction by the Adults
here just doesn't sound like any teaching experience I've had .

Your comments are spot on to my 14 years experience with pre- schoolers.

[Solly Mack]

45. I wonder just how much training the aide has had

...or even on the job experience.

I agree about the reaction by the adults. So different from my experiences with Head Start.

[Poll_Blind]

47. Thank you VERY much for taking the time to write this. n/t

PB

[Solly Mack]

50. You're welcome

:hi:

[mzmolly]

49. Great post.

My sister works for head start as a teacher ~ I applaud anyone who does this for a living.

[Solly Mack]

52. Hi mzmolly. Your sister has my utmost respect.

I fully support Head Start and all who choose to work with the program. It's a great program with great people.

[mzmolly]

58. She started as Mom who volunteered.

She's worked her way through school to become a Teacher. I'm proud of her, she's great with "her kids." ;)

I think Head Start is such an essential program and it has benefited kids and our society in ways we'll never know. Of course, Bush and his thugs have cut funding dramatically, but we're on our way out of this dark period in US History, thankfully!

:hi:

[proud2BlibKansan]

68. Excellent response

Thanks for you valuable insight.

[Warren DeMontague]

48. Well, it's in Texas. Whaddaya expect?

This is the place where you can carry as many guns as you like, but if you try to buy a vibrator, you could go to jail.

[WVHillbilly]

57. Coming from a family of big women,

all hugs while growning up consisted of being squished into breast of relatives. And yet, somehow I survived.

Somestimes, I think that American society has outlived it's usefulness to teh world and that our nation will collapse before too much longer. For Rome, it was said to be decadence, for America, it will be idiocy.

[FedUpWithIt All]

60. Welcome to DU, WVHillbilly.

:hi:

[fhqwhgads]

81. wvhillbilly's last two sentences...

...best du quote ever.

[mykpart]

62. Texas has also given birth to

Molly Ivins, Ann Richards, Ladybird Johnson, Sam Rayburn. Amazingly enough, although Californians can't stand the idea, intelligent people do manage to thrive in Texas. (And of course nothing weird ever happens in California!)

[Warren DeMontague]

76. You are correct-- and you have duly put me in my place. No question there are smart people there

and dad blast eeeeedjits here. No question at all.


Still, you have to admit- that Vibrator thing is pretty goofy. And it wasn't like this story was out of Austin.

Believe me, if it had taken place in Fresno I would have made an equally cheap, lame, totally uncalled for geographic shot. No wider offense intended, honest.

Peace. :hi:

[Lipton64]

64. And they wonder why millions of high-school grads can't even find Asia on a map....nt

[proud2BlibKansan]

69. Please explain how that relates to this incident

[Lipton64]

71. If the focus is going to be more on false-sexual harassment nonsense....

then how can the students focus on their studies??

[proud2BlibKansan]

73. This is pre-school

I doubt they lost much time finger painting and singing the ABC song.

[kath]

74. I don't think they do much finger painting and singing any more -

if this is a public school pre-K, they are probably already pushing the kids into doing academic stuff to "get them ready" for all the testing-mania crap that happens starting in kdgn.
Worksheets do NOT belong in the kdgn and pre-K. But they're there, in abundance, to the detriment of young children. :-(

[proud2BlibKansan]

77. My school has a pre-school program

They finger paint and do lots of singing. Our principal doesn't allow worksheets - at any grade level.

[ecstatic]

72. [KKKramer] 50 years ago, he would have been lynched for that... [/KKKramer] nt

See Emmett Till...