I'm not going to be well liked by the parents at xmas this year

[shadowknows69]

because the present of the year is the "An inconvenient truth" DVD for mom and dad. When picking up my dads my wife asked me, "You think he'll like that?"

"Fuck him, he needs to watch it"

[Lex]

1. Well that's what Christmas is all about.

nt

[seabeyond]

11. fuck him? merry christmas... lol lol..... wink n/t

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

2. Fuck him?

Ahhh, the spirit of Christmas.

Reminding me I need to start my Christmas shopping.

[shadowknows69]

4. Sorry, Dad and I haven't exactly had a "Ward Cleaver/Beaver"

relationship. And sometimes you just have to teach your parents well B-)

[seabeyond]

15. i am done. never been totally done so early.

happy holidays

[tridim]

I'm debating giving the same gift to my Kansas Repuke parents,

But last xmas was horrible, I'm not sure I want to provoke another bad experience this year.

[nini]

3. you said 'fuck him' about your dad?

let me edit this to say be grateful for the time with him which was more my point which came off pretty crappily (if that's a word)

[shadowknows69]

5. Whatever, walk in my shoes and live in my soul before you judge me

I am sorry about your father but you're taking the statement out of context. I do love my father and I don't need to prove it to anyone but him.

[seabeyond]

18. no, you dont need to prove anything to anyone. it is yours to do

happy holidays to you and yours

[nini]

19. fine.. it came off pretty angry on some levels

I'm sure you love him or you wouldn't be buying him a gift.

Judging is a bit much.. more like a reminder that he will be gone one day and even if he does make you nuts on some levels (which all parents do) you'll miss that.

Enjoy your Christmas with him.

[LoZoccolo]

47. NightTrain used to say something very similar...

...about the time he flicked off an old lady on work time!

:rofl:

He was eventually tombstoned; I think it may have had something to do with him saying he'd physically assault me!

:rofl:

[RB TexLa]

7. Same thought here, 20 years ago for Dad, week and a half ago for Mom

Amazing someone could let politics between family.

Context issues caused incorrect ideas about the OP's intent, but this should apply to all of us.

[shadowknows69]

8. I only meant that he was going to get the gift for his own good

I say the Fbomb about every third word when I speak. I was only relating the quote verbatim. It is not indicative of my feelings toward my dad. I will shut up now and never post about my family again.

[SammyWinstonJack]

13. ..

:hug:

[RB TexLa]

14. No problem, I use the word too

things written down don't always come across the way they are said.

[babylonsister]

24. I'm sorry to read about your mom, RGBolen.

Most parents are real hard to lose; my mom died 16 years ago and I miss her every day. :hug:

[RB TexLa]

35. Thanks, it was and is devastating

I'm still numb.

[shadowknows69]

37. I agree and I'm so sorry about your mom RGBolen

I didn't mean to upset you and I'm sorry for that too. Peace.

[PaganPreacher]

48. Condolences, RGBolen.

I am sorry for your loss. It's doubly hard at Christmastime.

Peace, and strength from
The Pagan Preacher

[NaturalHigh]

50. I'm sorry to hear about your mom.

We lost my grandmother last year early on Christmas morning. It made for a tough holiday. Best wishes to your family.

[SharonAnn]

9. Well, if you had a Dad like mine, you wouldn't miss him I don't.

I'm sorry that he couldn't ever participate in a semi-normal relationship with me or his other children. But he couldn't. And he hurt us a lot. So, we're sorry for him but not sorry that he's no longer in our life.

It's no longer anger, just sadness that he couldn't be a decent person.

[nini]

16. would you buy a gift for that man?

:shrug:

Your situation is different than above.

[shadowknows69]

20. Actually my situation is quite similar.

He was around but never there for us. I've been through therapy stemming from issues with my father and it almost drove me to suicide at one point. I got past my anger but I still get sad. I'm trying to help him be a better person than he has been.

[nini]

25. Actually, my dad wasn't around either

Sorry it was so bad for you - really. I know how the broken relationships affect us growing up.

I too am sad for all the time lost with my dad. But as I got older I learned to see him as the weak human being he was. We ended up having a good relationship before he died and I will be grateful for that. I hope you can do the same.

[shadowknows69]

28. We're getting there

But my main goal is to get him to respect me for my views and my integrity. No hard feelings nini. Believe me at times I hate the man but even the thought of losing him makes me weep as I am now.

[nini]

40. waaaaaaaaahhhhh - now I wanna cry.

Boy, we have a lot in common here. I changed my original post because it came off pretty lame - sorry.

My best advice I can give you is take every opportunity you can to allow him to get to know who you have become, make him respect you but at the same time let the small stuff go. I think sometimes in relationships where there is hurt in the past little dumb stuff can blow up into bigger things and it's not worth it. One of my brothers never made peace with my dad because he would never let small stuff go - it was a shame.

Hopefully you will come to a place where you respect each other and agree to disagree on the things that you just don't see eye to eye on. You are on the right track and hopefully you will have many years with him.


You are luckier than many in that you have a relationship with him that can only get better.


Again.. sorry I came off so bitchy. I wish you well :hug:

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

10. Not everyone had a good, or even decent, relationship with my dad.

Which is why I appreciate mine all the more, but still, don't judge someone based on your private experiences.

[nini]

21. I answered the OP

that's all I owe anyone regarding my post.

[Sapere aude]

6. Well, it's not the gift it's the giving that counts. He will probably not watch it.

I'd give him something that respects his values and not yours but then that's just me.


Merry..... no wait, Happy Holi ..... no wait, what do you say now?

[shadowknows69]

17. Soltisce or Yule will do

and my dad is not a screaming rethug, I want to make that clear, I think technically he is registered that way but believe me he thinks Bush is as much an idiot as the rest of us. Every needs to have their eyes opened to the potential disaster this planet is heading to and I'm just being the rebellious son (they wouldn't expect any less of me) and forcing the issue.

[Sapere aude]

43. Buy the video for yourself and watch it with him.

[noahmijo]

23. I have a Republican dad that I do this with

He's probably more of what you'd call a South Park Republican maybe he HATES the religious right, he agrees overall with our side on the economy ect, but he just has the "hate" bug you know that unfortunately has him shilling for the likes of Rush and Savage types. Although I will admit he did vote for Kerry this year. I talked him into after showing him the true side of Kerry..you know the I don't take any shit I used to be a hardass prosecutor I locked up criminals I went after the "bad" Arabs with my BCCI investigation ect and that did it. You know how it is if you deep down your dad or relative is a good guy and would think differently if he just had the facts laid out in front of him you gotta work slowly and suspend the PC talk.


My recommendation would be to give him something that respects his values but also something that respects yours if you are trying to make a point. I for example plan on giving my dad some kind of accessory for one of his guns but I will slip in "An inconvinient Truth" as a stocking stuffer ;)

[Dorian Gray]

12. Well, the movie is a good one...

but I don't understand why you'd buy your parents something that they wouldn't appreciate.

[shadowknows69]

22. Because sometimes it's the thought that counts

isn't that the lesson?

[novalib]

26. GOOD ON YOU!!!!

I seriously admire someone who is willing to educate close friends and relatives on important and incovenient truth!!

They NEED to hear the truth!!!!

Whether they "like" you or not is not terribly important.

In fact, I bet they may get mad for only a day or two

[NYCGirl]

27. Just a suggestion: Package the DVD up with a good bottle of wine or some

microbrew or imported beers and a package of gourmet popcorn and suggest they make an evening of it.

[shadowknows69]

30. Excellent idea

my dad has never been one to delay tearing into a new bottle. B-)

[NYCGirl]

36. He might even watch the movie smiling!

:hi:

[demgurl]

29. You are trying to take a stand for what is right.

That is important and kudos to you. You did not say 'fuck you' to his face. I am not sure how you meant it but I believe you had the best of intentions as in - fuck him, he might not believe in this stuff but he has got to see it to make informed decisions and it is important enough that he will have to put his feelings aside for the future good of the world.

That is a much different 'fuck you' than I would say to my father. My 'fuck you' would be in a hateful manner if I even cared any more. I prefer, these days, to not hold grudges but to live and let live. Life has been much more pleasant that way.

I hate that someone else would not have a father to even share Christmas with. I can see how they would wish that they had their Dad back and they would never say anything like 'fuck you' to their parent. My 'dad' tried to choke me when I was six months pregnant. He had always been violent to a point where he actually ruptured my mother's ear drum once. Not everyone has Ward Cleaver for a parent and it is hard to keep a nice warm and fuzzy relationship going when you sit there for two days waiting for the life inside of you to possibly move again. It is hard when your 'father' says he is going home to get his pistol and for days you walk with lights off (no shadow to shoot at) and blinds closed. It is hard when you have to peek outside and rush to the car when you are leaving your house because you know that person has committed acts of violence before and can be counted on possibly doing it again.

My 'father' could not be taught anything different and so we lead separate lives that will never cross again. You have reached into your heart and found what is important to you. You are sharing that with the important people around you. I hope your Dad sees it and really evaluates his thoughts on the subject. Very nicely done, my friend.

[shadowknows69]

31. Thank you

I'm so sorry Demgurl for what you went through. You just put my anger at my father in perspective for me thank you.

[demgurl]

45. shadowknows69.....

Thank you for your kind words. I honestly kept him in my life a lot longer than I should have. I am now older and have been much healthier in getting rid of negative influences. I have grown spiritually and I have a wonderful husband and sons. Because of my spiritual growth I hold no ill will against him and hope he will have a happy life. That does not mean he will be a part of my life, it only means I have forgiven him. Holding ill will gives someone else control over you.

I honestly am not sure you have that much anger toward your father. I suspect it is more frustration that he does not see things as you do and the clarity you hold of the negative impact that can have on all of us. If you did not love him then you would not have the reaction of being so upset that he feels the way he does. Maybe I read you wrong but that is how it came across to me.

I wish you luck with your father. I hope he will trust your judgment enough to give your side a listen before he decides anything. I hope it ends up being a wonderful holiday for you.

[riderinthestorm]

32. Everyone's getting that DVD this year from me.

My parents, my employees - everyone. I believe you are doing some enormous good by getting the word out to as many people as possible. Even if you believe the DVD will be re-gifted, no problem, spread the word!

I hear you about your dad :hug: . I won't ever see mine again even though he is still alive, I have removed him from my life and moved on. I'll send him his DVD with a generic card but frankly I won't let him anywhere near me or my family anymore - he's dangerous for us. Don't let anyone guilt you into spending time with him when it's not in you or your family's best interests.

[shadowknows69]

34. I wish I had more of him in my life

He's not allowed to die until he takes me to a baseball game as an adult so we can get stupid and have some beers together.

[riderinthestorm]

38. I sent you a pm. I hope you get that day with your dad. Have a great holiday!

Peace!

[dysfunctional press]

33. i'm giving bootlegs to everyone...

i know, i know...but my income is from SS disability...and even that is 12-14% less than it should be because a now long gone and bankrupt company that i worked for never paid into SS the money it deducted from my checks over two years time, a couple decades back.

somehow, i don't think that Al would mind- if that's what it takes to get the message out.

[ProdigalJunkMail]

39. trying to educate someone from the start of "fuck him"

is not likely to work. Why even bother. So, dad was an ass to you...turnabout is fair play? I disagree...

sP

[shadowknows69]

41. The "fuck him"

isn't going to do the educating. The DVD is. Unless you write him dear old daddeo isn't going to see the F word, and I was planning on leaving it off the card. When I'm on a reality show called "The Shadow Clan" you can make assumptions about my family. Until then why waste text?

[ProdigalJunkMail]

42. I am wasting as much space as you...well, probably less overall

but you try to educate someone from a combative stance like that and you will not succeed. It is your attitude that will lead here. It always is. But hey, have whatever attitude you want about trying to help him understand.

Oh...and I will make assumptions about your family when you say 'fuck him' about your dad (and really, my assumption here pretty much lines up with your post #20 so maybe assumption is the wrong word). Unless you are playing around it says A LOT. You don't want people to make assumptions...then don't throw your garbage in 'wasted text' all over the internet.

sP

[mod mom]

44. I gave my mother (Republican-Limbo listener) American Theocracy and Fooled

Again for Mother's Day so your gift seems not so controversial to me.

:hi:

[Rainscents]

46. You are doing the right thing!

He may not watch it at first, however, in time, when global warming go out of control and he is effective by it, he will drag out the DVD and watch it. Starting 2007... we are going to experience out of control weather and it ain't going to be pretty. In India, they were being told by there government, stock up now before shit hit the fan and this is going to start 2007 year. Even, NASA went over to India few years ago and asking them what they know that is coming beginning of 2007. Folks, we must all be prepare for the worst to come!

[ComerPerro]

49. the spirit of Christmas lives. Maybe someone will sign you up

as a premium member for Bill OReiley's webiste