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Edited on Fri Dec-15-06 05:01 PM by HawkeyeX
Chanukah song #1
ok ok this is a song that uh, theres a lot of Christmas songs out there
and uh not to many Hanukah songs so uh i wrote a song for all those
nice little Jewish kids who don't get to hear any Hanukah songs."
Put on your yamakah,
here comes Hanukah,
so much funnukah to celebrate Hanukah,
Hanukah is,
the feastival of lights,
instead of one day of presents we have eight crazy nights!
When you feel like the only kid in town,
without a Christmas tree,
Here's a list of people who are Jewish,
just like you and me!
David Lee Roth,
lights the Menorah,
so do James Konkirk Dougalas and the late Diana Shora,
Geuss who eats together at the Carnagi Deli,
Bosher from Shanana and Arthur Fonza Relli!
Pualoman half jewish,
Goldi Hans too,
put them together what a FINE lookin jew!
You don't need Deck the Halls or The Jingle Bell Rock,
cause you can spin a dradle with Captian Kirk and Mr. Spock!
(both jewish!)
Put on you yarmakah,
its time for Hannukah,
the owners of the Seattle supersonikahs,
celebrate Hanukah!
OJ Simpson,
NOT A JEW!,
but geuss who is?,
Hall o' famer Rod Karou!
We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby,
Harrison Fords a quater Jewish!,
NOT TO SHABBY!
Some people think,
Ebaniser Scrooge is,
well he's not but geuss who is?,
all three Stooges!!!
So many Jews are rich o' biz,
Tom Cruise isn't,
but I heard his agent is!
Tell your friend Veronica,
its time to celebrate Hanukah!,
O don't forget a harmonica,
on this lovely lovely Hanukah!
So drink your gin and tonicah,
and smoke your marajuanica!
if you really really wannukah,
have a happy happy happy,
HANUKAH!
Chanukah Song #2
Put on your Yamaka
Its time for Chanukah
So much funnaka
To celebrate Chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents
We get eight crazy nights
When you feel like the only kid in town
Without a Christmas tree
Here's a new list of people who are Jewish
Just like you and me
Winona Ryder,
Drinks Manischewitz wine
Then spins a Dreidle with Ralph Lauren and Calvin Klein
Guess who gives and receives
Loads of Chanukah toys
The girls from Veruca Salt and all three Beastie Boys
Lenny Kravitz is half Jewish,
Courtney Love is half too
Put them together
What a funky bad ass Jew
We got Harvey Keitel
And flash dancer Jennifer Beals
Yasmine Bleeth from Baywatch is Jewish
And yes her boobs are real
Put on that yarmulka
Its time for Chanukah
2 time Ocsar winning Dustin Hoffmanaka
celebrates Chanukah
O.J. Simpson
Still not a Jew
But guess who is,
The guy who does the voice for Scooby Doo
Bob Dylan was born a Jew
Then he wasn't
but now he's back,
Mary Tyler Moore's husband is Jewish
'Cause we're pretty good in the sack.
Guess who got bar-mitzvahed
On the PGA tour
No I'm not talking about Tiger Woods
I'm talkin' about Mr. Happy Gilmore.
So many Jews are in the show biz
Bruce Springsteen isn't Jewish
But my mother thinks he is.
Tell the world-amanaka
It's time to celebrate Chanukah
It's not pronounced Ch-nakah
The C is silent in Chanukah
So read your hooked on phonica
Get drunk in Tijuanaka
If you really really wannaka
Have a happy happy happy happy Chanukah!
Chanukah Song #3
Put on your yamulke
It's time for Chanukah (sounds good
guys)
Once again it's Onakah
The miracle of
Chanukah. (give it up for the Drei Dels)
Chanukah is
the festival of lights.
One day of presents?
Hell
no, We get eight crazy nights.
But if you still feel
like the only kid in town without a Christmas tree
I guess
my first two songs didn't do it for you
So here comes
number three!
Ross and Phoebe from "Friends" say the
Chanukah blessing.
So does Lenny's pal Squiggy and
"Will & Grace"'s Debra Messing.
Melissa Gilbert
and Michael Landon never mixed meat with dairy.
Maybe they
should have called that show "Little Kosher House on the
Prairie."
We got Jerry Lewis, Ben Stiller and Jack
Black.
Tom Arnold converted to Judaism, but you guys can
have him back!
(Just kidding Tommy!)
We may not
get to kiss underneath the mistletoe
But we can do it all
night long with Deuce Bigalow! (I'm jewish!)
Oh My
God! Sweet Robbie Schneider is here!
Put on the
yamukah
Here comes Chanukah
The guy in Willie
Nelson's band who plays harmonica
Celebrates
Chanukah.
Oooo, good job Schneider
Osama bin
Laden--(Booo!)--not a big fan of the Jews.
Well, maybe
that's because he lost a figure skating match to gold
medalist
Sarah Hughes, her mama's Jewish!
Houdini and David Blaine escaped straightjackets with such
precision.
But the one thing they could not get out of
Their painful circumcision.
As for Half-Jewish
actors, Sean Penn is quite the great one,
And Marlon Brando
not a Jew at all ,
But it looks to me like he ate one.
Gweneth Paltrow is half jewish
But an aweful time
Oscar winner
Jeniffer Conneley's half jewish too
And I'd like to put some more in her
There's Lou Reed, Perry Ferrell, Beck and Paula Abdul.
Joey Ramone invented punk rock music
But first came
Hebrew school.
Natalie Portmanukah
It's
time to celebrate Chanukah.
I hope I get an Abrtronicah,
on this joyful, toyful Chanukah.
So get a high
colonicah
And soil your long johnukahs
If you really
really wantukah.
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy,
happy
Happy Chan-u-kah!
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