Title Dubya's autobiography

[BushOut06]

Assuming that * decides to write an autobiography, what would he title it?

"I Did a Heckuva Job"

"So Little Time, So Few Countries"

[Radical Activist]

1. Stumbling into Infamy

That sums up his life.

[MannyGoldstein]

2. Batshit Crazy, But Nobody'll Stop Me n/t

[Poll_Blind]

3. "My pet war." n/t

PB

[GrumpyGreg]

4. "It's Hard Work"

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

5. The Declaration of I'madumbass

Other possible titles:

Oops!

Thing to do in Washington When You're the Decider

Profiles in Strategery

It Takes a Village Idiot

How to Destroy a Decade of Peace and Prosperity, Immolate the Middle East, and Destroy the Middle Class Without Even Trying.

[IggleDoer]

6. Slouching my way to Armageddon

n/t

[Cleita]

7. "I'm the Decider".

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

8. I've got a slight twist on that.

Decider: The Decisions I Decided and the Way I Decidered Them

[Cleita]

10. Excellent!

I like!

:thumbsup:

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

13. More...

It Was Cheney's Fault
(With special introduction by Donald Rumsfeld)

Donald Rumsfeld is a Big Fat Idiot
(With special introduction by Dick Cheney)

Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld are Both Big Fat Idiots
(With special introducion by Colin Powell)

This is the Last Time We Let a Negro into the Republican Party
(With special introduction by Trent Lott)

How To Lose Congress Because You're a Bunch of Corrupt, Racist, Warmongering Assholes. Especially Trent Lott.
(With special introduction by Karl Rove)

[GreenPoet64]

58. From Bottle to Bedlam n/t

[JackintheGreen]

45. goo goo ga joo

[Ayesha]

9. "What, me worry?"

[Ghost in the Machine]

11. Tour de Farce!

That's what his pResidency has been.... a big farce and a cruel joke played on us and the rest of the world.

[krispos42]

12. "How I Stopped Nukler War Against Amerka"

It will be a picture book of his impeachment trial

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

14. "Monkey Saw - Monkey Could Not Do"

[lisa58]

15. My Life is a Lie...

...that might be too honest

[Bozita]

16. How about "A Charge to Keep"? ... Have Karen Hughes write it.

Be sure to check the reviews at Amazon. Hilarious!

http://www.amazon.com/Charge-Keep-George-W-Bush/dp/0688174418/sr=8-1/qid=1166222611/ref=sr_1_1/103-4037190-8343835?ie=UTF8&s=books

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

20. How about "A Charge on Which to Be Indicted." n/t

[Cooley Hurd]

17. "Mommy Said I Was Bright: Confessions of a Blithering Idiot"

Subtitle: "But Mommy Drank and Made Me Scared."

:rofl:

[Cessna Invesco Palin]

21. Profiles in Unmedicated Shithattery. n/t

[newyawker99]

26. LMAO!!!!

:rofl:

[Cooley Hurd]

66. Hiya Roni!

:hi:

[vireo]

18. "Dumb Like Me"

[TlalocW]

19. "Stupid Came I"

That's a reference to a Bloom County storyline where Milo took Opus' boring autobiography, "A Penguin's Tale," and "punched it up a bit," renaming it, "Naked Came I." Opus was surprised to learn that he had shot Warren Beatty in the buttocks. Milo said that, "Must be a typo."

TlalocW

[Lautremont]

22. Forgive Me, I Beg Of You.

[CurtEastPoint]

23. And Amazon customers would tag it with....

these adjectives and perjoratives. I was thinking about making a pun of GWB writing something like "The Presidency: If I Did It, Here's How I Would Do It" (a la OJ) and I Googled that phrase and found a link to Amazon. Apparently it was put on Amazon before it got cancelled. LOOK AT WHAT PEOPLE WROTE ABOUT OJ! I can only imagine how they would tag the * Biography! And surprisingly (NOT!) many would be the same!! And this is only A through E!

[malaise]

24. How the fugg did I pull this off :

The Greatest Con in American History

Edit: add

[rurallib]

25. "It was all Clinton's Fault"

subtitled "and Dick Cheney made most of the bad decisions"

[tinfoil tiaras]

27. Cheney's biography: "I'm With Stupid--how I became the real president of the USA"

y'all have already taken all the good * biography names. But good job. :)

[krispos42]

28. "Stupid Does as Stupid Is" n/t

[Divernan]

29. The End of Western Civilization As We Then Knew It

nt

[Hanover_Fist]

30. "SIMPLETON"

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

31. "I once caught a great big fish, while doin' some Presidentin' 'n other stuff"

[slater71]

32. DUMB ASS! How not to succeed in anything .

[Junkdrawer]

33. "My Pet Goat Ate My Autobiography." n/t

[KamaAina]

34. A Misunderestimated Life

from the publishers of "Sex After Sixty" and "Six Hundred Years of German Humor". :P

[omega minimo]

35. "Read My Apocalypse"

[La_Fourmi_Rouge]

36. "Blow Me"

[GreatCaesarsGhost]

37. Barney and Me

[melissinha]

38. My Daddy got me this [insert any damn thing here]

I mean really, what has he EVER done successfully and on his own merit? Absolutely nothing.

[muntrv]

39. "My Stratergy To Go Nookuler"

[judaspriestess]

40. I'm just a simpleton or I did it my way, stupid

[Buck Rabbit]

41. "Writin' Books Is Hard Work"

[rebel with a cause]

42. "Me and Condi, and Laura too"

"Americans Are Stupid, Tell Them Anything"; "What Carl Rove Told Me"; "Cheney Was Not My Boss!"; "My Daddy Cried For Jeb, But Not For Me"; etc

[SoCalDem]

43. Iraq is a country. It has oil. War is hard work. I'm a war president

he always reminds me of the 5th grade kid who has to stand up in front of the class for a book report on a book he obviously did NOT read :)

[rebel with a cause]

44. "How to Lose A War and Destroy Two Countries

Without Really Trying"

[muriel_volestrangler]

46. My Autobiography: That's a Book about Me that I wrote Myself, Ya See

[ikojo]

47. All about ME

[omega minimo]

48. "Inside The Bubble"............. or............. "Travels With Turdblossom"

[Bobbie Jo]

49. "Fool Me Once, Shame on You"

[Riddler]

50. "The Life and Times of a Total Failure"

[Lautremont]

51. My Name Is Georgie I Live In The Building

[IDemo]

52. Postcard from Paraguay n/t

[kitty1]

53. War and War

[Dinger]

54. O.K. . . .

"I Blow Goats, And I Have Proof"

[kitty1]

55. Bush; The life and Crimes

[Starbucks Anarchist]

56. How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love to Bomb.

[BlackVelvet04]

57. Stupid is as Stupid does. n/t

[krispos42]

59. "A Treatise on the Art, Science, and Finer Points of Brush Clearing in East Texas"

n/t

[gr8dane_daddy]

60. Strategerizing for Dummies

nm

[Warren DeMontague]

61. "Who crapped in the refrigerator?"

I don't know what that means, but it sounds about right.

[rknryd]

62. :Me, Write?"

:rofl:

[enigmatic]

63. "Mein Stratergy"!

:)

[madeline_con]

64. Funniest stuff I've read in a long time!

:rofl:

[Fire Walk With Me]

65. "Mo' Money, Mo' Money, MO' MONEY!"

BAAAAAAAAAM!

[maine_raptor]

67. "If I Did It"

Said book to be filled with reasons why all his fuck-ups are someone eles's fault.

[SAXMAR]

68. 'I Punked My Country for eight whole Years"

Hehehehe, Me and that ashee Kutcher really got you guys. Oh man you should have seen your face when we got the Supreme Court in on the joke and they let me win the vote in 2000.

Anyway, you can get it on WMD OR VHS for christmas.

Happy Holidays

The Deciderer

[screembloodymurder]

69. Forrest Gump goes to Washington

Simple is as simple does.

[NoPasaran]

70. "Oedipus Wrecks"

[spanone]

71. How I Fucked America.

...and all my rich freinds got richer than their wildest dreams.

[BringEmOn]

72. Sins of the Father

[npincus]

73. "Destined For Destiny"- it's out already.. HILARIOUS

http://www.amazon.com/Destined-Destiny-Unauthorized-Autobiography-George/dp/0743299663



I have the audio CD- like a 5-hour SNNL skit, only funnier. I gave it to my sis as a gift- she and her family listen to it over and over again!

From Amazon:


Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
In the tradition of Jon Stewart's America: The Book and satirical newspaper The Onion (which Dikkers runs as editor-in-chief), this faux autobiography recounts George W. Bush's mediocre rise from humble beginnings (as a child of "simple oil folks") to become the 43rd President of the United States. Dikkers and Hilleren play on every Bush stereotype, from his privileged insider perspective ("I believe in tax relief for Wal-Mart and other large department store chains which clothe and feed the poor") to his close and personal bond with his savior ("Hello, Jesus, my name is George W. Bush and I'm asking for your support in my run for Congress"), in a voice studded with Bush's trademark malapropisms. The authors also include fake artifacts, including newspaper clippings, White House memos and Bush's Yale admissions essay (complete with a note from Dad). Though the gags are often as sharp as they are stupid (chapter titles include "Then I Ran Some Companies into the Ground," "George Walker, Texas Ranger," and "The Clown-Faced Zombie I Call My Wife"), readers may find the joke wearing a little thin by the time they reach the 16-page photo spread of Bush with Jesus Christ. Readers may want to skip around to prevent satirical fatigue.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist
Underscore unauthorized. Dikkers, founder and editor in chief of the satirical publication theOnion, and Hilleren, former public radio producer, joined to craft this humorous look at the life of President George W. Bush, as if penned by the forty-third president himself. They chronicle Bush's privileged childhood, his uninspiring academic performance, and his rise to wealth and influence in business and, finally, politics with the help of family connections. Written in imitation of Bush's breezy style, the facts are all there, but the tone is heavily satiric. Illustrations include a report card with grades altered, a loyalty oath signed by Laura Bush, and--after Bush's proclaimed religious conversion--the presence of Jesus in photographs of his life from babyhood through the presidential swearing-in ceremony through his speech at ground zero after the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Bush detractors will find this book hilarious; his fans will be apoplectic. Vanessa Bush
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved