Kerry Reveals 2004 Campaign Was Botched Joke

[jgraz]

Kerry Reveals 2004 Campaign Was Botched Joke

Posted on Dec 16, 2006
By Andy Borowitz

Speaking to an audience of troops in Iraq today, Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) raised eyebrows by revealing for the first time that his 2004 campaign for the U.S. presidency was “a botched joke.”

“My stiff delivery, my wooden, robot-like hand gestures, were all an attempt on my part to be hilarious,” Sen. Kerry told the troops. “In retrospect, I guess you had to be there.”

For Mr. Kerry, a politician whose demeanor ranges from “dour” to “very dour,” the news that his entire campaign was a botched joke came as a startling revelation.

But despite the fact that his presidential campaign failed to garner the kind of belly laughs he was aiming for, Sen. Kerry told the troops that he planned to skip the 2008 race to focus full time on what he called “my first love, comedy.”

http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/20061216_andy_borowitz_kerry_2004

[The Count]

1. And Borowitz's schtick ceased to be a joke long ago...Stolen elections - not funny

[BuyingThyme]

2. Wow, is Andy Borowitz really that stupid?

[theoldman]

3. Both Kerry and Gore made the mistake of not being

themselves. Bush did not have to act the part of a moron. It came naturally.

[The Count]

9. Or rather whomever MSM decided that themselves should be.

be ready for whomever Dem candidate to be made into a joke this time around by the MSM. ANYONE. Jesus Christ, Colbert, Ghandi, George Cluny, God or his hypness Barak Obama himself. By the time the race is over they'll be so covered in slime, you won't know there's a person under there.

[karynnj]

10. That is unfair and not true

The Kerry I saw on CSPAN - at rallies, town meetings etc was the Kerry I saw in 2005 in a NJ town and in Boston for 2 of his Faneuil Hall speeches. It was not Kerry who wasn't himself it was the media's depiction of him.

I assme that Gore was similarly distorted.

[blm]

4. Andy Borowitz - another mediawhore pretending a Dem didn't earn 60-65 million votes

and pretending the media was NOT protecting BushInc for the last 7 years by unfairly targetting those who opposed the Bushboy.

[Nutmegger]

5. Botched, yet he still won. n/t

[zulchzulu]

6. Andy, your last name is really Bore-O-Wits...admit it, lil' buddy

You should write "How Anyone Can Be a Self-Important Blogger For Dummies".

[Kerry fan]

7. George Bush reveals his entire term in office was a test

George Bush reveals his entire term in office was a test by the Supreme Court and the Diebold Company to prove that they could easily subvert an American election and get away with it.

Ever since Nixon's plumbers tried to interfere in his election and were caught, the Neocons in the Republican party have been determined to do it again and get away with it.

"Nixon and his plumbers were rank amateurs compared to Karl Rove, the Supreme Court and the Diebold Company," said Bush. "We have twice proven that it can be done."

"Bring it on"!

[TankLV]

8. my, my, my...!

too bad most of the country sees it that way too, unfortunately.

Just a bad clusterfuck all around.

AND we're still stuck with the WAR Criminal in OUR (or Gore's or Kerry's) White House...

Boy, is this country in for some long term GOOD kharma after the hell hole we've all been in in for years now...

[H2O Man]

11. Gross.

Andy B. is a dick dripping.

[jgraz]

14. Ok I don't agree with your assessment

but THANK YOU for that new phrase! "dick dripping" -- bwahahahahahah

:rofl:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

12. I thought it was funny.

:shrug:

[KoKo]

13. This is not funny......n/t

[Cha]

15. Yeah? Where's the shite

on bush's botched jokes?

"Bring 'em on"
"Dead or Alive"
"Fool me once"
"Talk to families who die"
"Trifecta"
"Easier to be a dic-tator"
"I'm the decider"
Ad fucking infinitum..just ask Mark Crispin Miller, Jon Stewart, and Stephen Colbert.