In new Iraq, U.S. churches foresee 'Garden of Eden' tours

[maxrandb]

Got this via e-mail, and I was hoping it was either satire or from the Onion. Went to the site and it appears to be real. What was it that Barnum said?

http://larknews.com/april_2006/secondary.php?page=2

BAGHDAD — Henry Anderson hopes for a speedy end to the Iraq war — for the sake of his tour business.
"As soon as the hostilities go down to Holy Land levels, I'm launching," he says of his Eden Tours, which will purport to take visitors to possible Garden of Eden sites. Many church groups have developed "Galilee fatigue" and are tiring of repeat trips to Israel, so travel companies are banking on a new destination: Iraq. "I've been to Jerusalem sixteen times, preached from the Mount of Beatitudes and did the Paul's journeys cruise," says one pastor whose church is pre-booked for an Iraq tour in 2008. "I want something new."

Some even suggest that the tree of life has "descendants" scattered about Baghdad. They speculate that Adam and Eve ate from the tree of life before they sinned, then "planted" the seeds outside the Garden. While theologians scoff at this idea, it has fueled a boom in the local fruit trade. Expensive resorts in Israel and Jordan now offer "Eden fruit paste rubs," where people are slathered with blended Iraqi fruit paste the way some tourists cover themselves in Dead Sea mud. "If any of this fruit is from the tree of life, it will improve my health," says Renata Tyrinski of Poland, who was covered with fruit paste during a $175 spa treatment at a Dead Sea resort.


One billionaire plans to build a "New Eden" clothing-optional resort in Iraq with lush gardens and foliage, pumped-in mist and a world-class zoo. For the squeamish, fresh fig leaf attire will be provided."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nothing says Christian values like the exploitation of God for the Almighty dollar. If these people weren't the ones responsible for the idiot we have in office, and his wing-nut enablers in Congress, I would actually feel pity for them. It's not easy, and life must have been very hard, for them to get so fucking jaded in such a short amount of time.

"Praise Jay-zus, and please pass the monogrammed fig leafs."

[Larkspur]

1. They can take those tours now if they enlist in the Army or Marines

[Tom Joad]

2. Sorry, its a joke.

[maxrandb]

5. Really

I kind of thought that when I saw it was from Lark News.

It is pretty funny though.

[Tom Joad]

13. I wish the quote from a certain Senate leader about supporting MORE troops

in Iraq was a joke.

That is insane, and not at all funny.

[Target_For_Exterm]

3. Oh, yeah, Muslims in the ME would want a nudist camp in

thier midst. :sarcasm:

Why are these people so freaking whacko?

[Tom Joad]

4. This is a satirical website. for gods sakes.

Why are people here so gullible!?!

[Target_For_Exterm]

7. Because it's so LIKELY to be true?

Ya gotta admit the folks we're talking about are a bit off.

[maxrandb]

8. Hey, just having a good time

Got this from my brother, so I should have known better, but still, the funniest humor is that which is tinged by reality. It's perfectly normal to assume there are folks out there that can't wait to travel to Eden. Hell, they put Jesus on a trailor hitch and dragged him behind a Suburban for Christ' sake! Anyone capable of doing that is surely capable of promoting a tour of Eden.

Lighten up and the mods can delete or send to the lounge if they haven't already.

[denverbill]

9. Because nothing Christian nutjobs do surprises us.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2089-1938165,00.html

Christians strip to build a new Eden
Tony Allen-Mills, New York
IN THE beginning was the word of God and God never said anything about brassieres or boxer shorts. Thus was born Natura, America’s first Christian nudist camp.

After two years of biblical debate over Adam and Eve and their fig leaves and whether or not nudity is sinful, a 67-year-old Quaker grandfather is preparing to open a modern-day Garden of Eden 40 miles north of Tampa, Florida.

Bill Martin’s ambitious plan for a 200-acre Christian- oriented Family Naturist Village has survived legal challenges, doctrinal disputes and a plague of internet prudes. Land is now being cleared for the opening next year of what may become the world’s only Christian community to feature nude volleyball.
<snip>

[Tom Joad]

10. True. But there are atheist nut jobs too.

[denverbill]

19. True, but they are badly outnumbered.

#1 - Christians outnumber atheists 9-1 in the US and
#2 - How many atheists are willing to die for their religion?

[Zhade]

21. #2 = zero, since atheism is not a religion.

NT!

[LongTomH]

12. Why are people - in general - so gullible?

Barnum was right, or as the late, great W.C. Fields once said: "It's a sin to let a sucker keep his money!"

Of course, part of the problem is that the news reads so much like satire these days. :evilgrin:

[SutaUvaca]

6. Ha! Had me fooled at first, too.

But the Lark News site was a hoot.
Thanks for posting.

[maxrandb]

11. Yes. If nothing else

I have a new site to visit for a good chuckle.

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

14. Will they offer side trips to Sodom & Gommorah for the preachers?

[Tom Joad]

16. Lot's Wife is being bottled as a seasoning.

[Tom Joad]

15. BTW, website that makes fun of Christian Fundies... and its run by evangalicals.

http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/home.html

Its been around for a long time (as a magazine). Mostly progressive point of view (probably more progressive than many here at DU). It uses satire to prod the church in what it sees as saner and more faithful direction.

[Tom Joad]

17. e.g. Robertson gets lifetime loser award.

http://www.wittenburgdoor.com/archives/robertson.html

[Zhade]

18. How can you give a tour of something that has never been proven to exist?

What's next, sky tours of the giant's castle from Jack and the Beanstalk?

[ieoeja]

20. On the Tree of Life ...

If A&E already ate from the Tree of Life then:

1. Why were they kicked out of the Garden (according to the King James Version they were kicked out to PREVENT them from eating from the Tree of Life and achieving equality with the gods)?

2. Wouldn't the Israeli kings have been immortal? Wasn't that how the combination of the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge made humans the same as gods (immortal and sapient)?

[Zhade]

22. I believe Barnum said...

...(apologies to Ladyhawk for stealing this): "there's a sucker born-again every minute".