Right wing plant guard had this posted today in the gatehouse at work.

[B Calm]

Liberal Merry Christmas Greetings

Happy Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza

Sorry for the delay…our Legal Department just approved the following Holiday Greeting:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday(tm), practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all . . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 1999, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Conservative Merry Christmas Greetings

MERRY CHRISTMAS

[Totallybushed]

1. Geeps!

What an asshole!!

[Skidmore]

2. People like this just annoy me to no end.

No one is telling them not to celebrate the holiday of their choice, only to be respectful of the traditions of others as well. I probably would have made some pointed remark. Is that idiot armed?

[jackster]

8. Me too!

Today at a luncheon, someone mentioned that you have to be so careful now to say the right thing during the holidays - and I said "no you really don't. If you want to say Merry Christmas, then go right ahead. No one is going to stop you. However, someone people choose to say Happy Holidays because they want to be more inclusive." The person look started for a moment like (as we say here in New England) ..... light dawns on Marblehead!

[hwmnbn]

3. Place this below his message.....

[karlrschneider]

4. A DUer got this in an email a few days ago.

:puke:

[jgraz]

5. Are you kidding? This guy is a true Christian and a Patriot

While we're all concerned with trivialities like people dying in Iraq and the revocation of our civil liberties, this guy keeps his eye on the ball and continues to fight against the blatant persecution of the Christian race.

God bless him and everyone like him. I pray every day that Jesus comes down and raptures them all away.

[SutaUvaca]

6. Merely typical of the sheeple

to make an issue of a non-issue.
Seems to have been too lazy also to change the year from 1999 to 2007.
What's a combination of stupid and goofy called? Stoofy? Goofid?
Probably warmed the guy's heart to post such a notice. Trash fires can do that.

[spanone]

7. Sounds like his leader...first-rate asshole.

[Webster Green]

9. I sent that message two years ago....everyone loved it!

It didn't say "Liberal Merry Christmas Greetings" at the top, but aside from that it was word for word.

I think it's very funny.

[Straight Shooter]

10. It's people like this plant guard that make me hate Christmas.

They'll cheerfully call out "Merry Christmas" to everyone, but they carry this bigotry and malice in their hearts.

It was supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Christ. It's turned into political fodder, thanks, once again, to the so-called conservatives, who conserve nothing and waste everything, especially goodwill.

[kevinmc]

11. Redneck Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shack,
not a darn thing was a movin', from the front to the back.
The kids were in bed, we had nine at the time,
the wife in her curlers, was lookin' real fine.

A cold wind was blowin', up the holler it moaned,
ten dogs on the porch all howled and groaned.
The boys were all dreamin' of weapons and guns,
for killin' god's creatures, ...There's no better fun!

The girls in their feminine dreams were attuned,
to getting those gallons of Wal-Mart perfume.
The wife wanted jewelry, like rings with big rocks.
I just wanted my Chevy down off of them blocks.

Then out in yard, such a noise did commence,
like something was caught in our new bob-war fence.
I ran to the window, and saw pretty quick,
the man makin' that racket, was good ol' St. Nick.

You may think of Santa in you own mind's eye,
dressed in a red and white suit, but I've got a surprise.
That old boy's an Arkie, from up near Mt. Gaylor,
he married his cousin, and they live in a trailer.
On Christmas, of course, a sleigh for his rig,
he hooks the thing up to a razorback pig!

He climbed on the roof, with his bag full of goodies,
he backed down the fireplace, all dirty and sooty.
Fat legs in his britches, chubby hands in his mittens,
I must admit from the back, he looked lots like Bill Clinton.

He turned toward the tree, his eyes all aglow,
he was an Arkansas boy from his head to his toe.
His neck was a red one, his shirt said "lite beer",
he had no red hat on, but his cap read "John Deere".

He left all the presents, with an air of delight,
then it was back to the chimney, and into the night.
He ran into the yard, threw his bag in the sleigh,
then he yelled at the dogs, "get the heck out th' way!"

I ran out to ask him why he brought such good cheer;
but instead he just asked me, "you get you a deer?"
Then i heard him exclaim, as those pigs took flight,
"merry Christmas to all...I need a Bud Lite!"

[nosmokes]

12. tell the asshole-

that your liberal goddess don't give his consevative god any nookie every day he keeps that stoopit sign up and he's pissing god right the fuck off.

[frylock]

13. i would have to take it upon myself..

to sign 'FUCK OFF' on that. But that's how I roll.

[mwb970]

14. What a lot of trouble to go to just to be a jerk.

Who takes the time to come up with this crap? These wingnuts seem to have infinite energy to pour into their endless hate and outrage against everyone they disagree with. Imagine if they put this much energy into something good and worthwhile!

[Bobbie Jo]

15. Ya know....Republiks just aren't funny...n/t

[MrCoffee]

16. i think it's funny.

sheesh. if i can't laugh at myself, who can i laugh at?