'A thick skin'

[Sapphire Blue]

It's often suggested, that to post here, one should have 'a thick skin'.

It's even mentioned in the rules.

Sometimes I feel like a titanium skin is needed to post here.

I don't have that.

The skin on my hands has been thick... calloused, as a matter of fact... from work that I've done throughout my life.

The skin on my feet has also been calloused.

The skin over my heart, however, remains thin... very thin. It allows for much love to flow in and out. I wouldn't want it to be calloused... even though, at times, it allows hurt to enter also.

[undeterred]

1. You are a sweetheart

:hug: and we are lucky to have you here.

[Sapphire Blue]

7. ...

:hug:

[sweetheart]

19. You are undeterred

:hug: and we are lucky to have you here.

[madokie]

2. I hope this is only a reminder and not a broken heart

[Sapphire Blue]

8. It's a little more insight.

[goclark]

3. I truly understand what you mean Sapphire

Even those with a thick skin need not apply if it is a hot button issue.

Sometimes I think that to be a Democrat in America and seek to understand all the dirty tricks that are being done by the BushCOns, is to give up a chunk of yourself and fill it with hate.

I don't wish to hate to the point of being unkind to my fellow Democrats.

I don't wish to seek to explain my views and be put down by the very people that I have worked hard with to champion issues such as PEACE and JUSTICE.

I don't wish to battle anyone that prays, like we do that the VOTE that we cast is the VOTE that is Counted ~ oops, I probably will get blasted for using the word "pray."

All I want to do is make this world a better place.

I want to leave hate at the door when I visit a website.

I don't even want to hate GW, I want to get him out of office so that JUSTICE for the poor and those that are going through hard times are not ignored.


PEACE Sapphire and All Those who seek to understand views that may differ from views that are stuck like a broken record.

[Sapphire Blue]

6. Thanks so much for your comments, goclark!

:hug:

Here's to leaving hate at the door :toast:

[Ladyhawk]

4. You are so right.

I swear, no matter what I post in GD, it seems someone has to insult me or level some other kind of personal attack. I left DU for a long time. For the last couple of months, I've posted here and there. I didn't remember not to post in GD (forgot again, it seems) and got instantly lambasted. The attitude of people on the Internet really sucks and no, I've not been immune to it.

I don't want to steal your thread, but I'm going to re-post some clips from my farewell post several months ago:

I thought it might help to educate you a bit about the basic nature of the 15 to 20% of human beings who are highly sensitive by nature. I've always detected a difference between my basic nature and that of most others. I was born that way and I've been that way my whole life.

http://tinyurl.com/eqs3a:

(snip)

On her website and in her book, The Highly Sensitive Person, Dr. Elaine Aron notes:
If you find you are a highly sensitive person, or your child is, then you need to be aware of the following points:

* This trait is normal--it is inherited by 15 to 20% of the population, and indeed the same percentage seems to be present in all higher animals.
* Being an HSP means your nervous system is more sensitive to subtleties. Your sight, hearing, and sense of smell are not necessarily keener (although they may be). But your brain processes information and reflects on it more deeply.
* Being an HSP also means, necessarily, that you are more easily overstimulated, stressed out, overwhelmed.
* This trait is not something new I discovered--it has been mislabeled as shyness (not an inherited trait), introversion (30% of HSPs are actually extraverts), inhibitedness, fearfulness, and the like. HSPs can be these, but none of these are the fundamental trait they have inherited.
* The reason for these negative misnomers and general lack of research on the subject is that in this culture being tough and outgoing is the preferred or ideal personality--not high sensitivity. (Therefore in the past the research focus has been on sensitivity's potential negative impact on sociability and boldness, not the phenomenon itself or its purpose.) This cultural bias affects HSPs as much as their trait affects them, as I am sure you realize. Even those who loved you probably told you, "don't be so sensitive," making you feel abnormal when in fact you could do nothing about it and it is not abnormal at all.

http://www.hsperson.com

The DU Rules:
3. Civility: Treat other members with respect. Do not post personal attacks against other members of this discussion forum.

4. Content: Do not post messages that are inflammatory, extreme, divisive, incoherent, or otherwise inappropriate. Do not engage in anti-social, disruptive, or trolling behavior. Do not post broad-brush, bigoted statements. The moderators and administrators work very hard to enforce some minimal standards regarding what content is appropriate. But please remember that this is a large and diverse community that includes a broad range of opinion. People who are easily offended, or who are not accustomed to having their opinions (including deeply personal convictions) challenged may not feel entirely comfortable here. A thick skin is necessary to participate on this or any other discussion forum.

Folks break the civility and "no personal attacks" rules all the time on DU. It's expected. The rules are practically ignored with the expectation that some of one's posts will be deleted. Hell, I've broken the rules numerous times myself. Breaking the rules of civility is necessary in order to defend oneself. Flamewars have become--or perhaps have always been--normal on Internet forums, and especially in DU's General Discussion forums. I've often wondered what it is about the anonymity of the Internet that leads us to behave in this manner.

One of the reasons I participated here for so long was I hoped the lack of civil discourse in GD would "toughen me up." Maybe it helped some, but I can't change my inherited nature, which is that of a highly sensitive person. So, according to the rules, I really don't belong on DU because I am hypersensitive. I freely admit it. It makes things difficult in some ways, but in some ways it's a gift. It tends to go along with an artistic and thoughtful nature, both of which I possess. Unfortunately, the stress of being a highly sensitive person in this society tends to impinge upon the positive aspects of the trait, curbing creativity and creating defensiveness. That part of being highly sensitive totally sucks. :(

[Sapphire Blue]

5. Welcome back, Ladyhawk.

Don't worry about stealing my thread. I appreciate your sharing.

Here's a :hug: from one thin-skinned DUer to another!

[Ladyhawk]

13. Thanks. :)

I sometimes wish I we could be vulnerable and honest with one another on Internet forums. Unfortunately, I learned that vulnerability often leads to attack. Sometimes I forget and become vulnerable again. Sigh.

The constant "on-guard" feeling can't be conducive to productive discussion. For example, if I'm feeling defensive, I'm less likely to admit I'm wrong, even if I am wrong. Still, I found myself going into attack mode the other day on a Reason vs. Faith chatboard. I was mostly making jokes, but I certainly wasn't feeling benificent toward religionists. I took it out on the first theist that showed up in the room. It felt good at the time, but afterward...well??? :shrug:

What the hell is wrong with humanity? Why can't I be consistent? Why can't I be the change I wish to see in the world?

[undergroundpanther]

57. LaaadddiieeeeHaaaawkkk

Rrroworr!!!

PurrrrrrrrrPpuuurrrrrrrrrrr... Its it really you Prettybird!
Hey!! So glad to see you!!
:woohoo:

[Sapphire Blue]

67. That picture is absolutely breathtaking!

[Zodiak]

12. I remember that thread

because I have a bad heart, sometimes people's nastiness causes my heart to skip beats or double beats when it directed at me (dangerous). Your post let me know that others are like me but barrel on anyways with their thin skin because, face it, things have gotten too important to not pay attention.

I try to remind nasty posters gently being courteous helps out with discussion.

If I get another nasty comment, I put them on ignore. It is a matter of health, and to be honest, I don't really think people who are nasty to others as a default have anything to say, anyways.

Mean people suck, and DU is not a haven from them.

[Ladyhawk]

15. You've hit on an important truth.

because I have a bad heart, sometimes people's nastiness causes my heart to skip beats or double beats when it directed at me (dangerous). Your post let me know that others are like me but barrel on anyways with their thin skin because, face it, things have gotten too important to not pay attention.

I, too, have chronic health issues, but I keep drifting back toward involvement because I'm afraid to ignore our current spate of problems. Let me know if you find the correct balance between involvement and keeping yourself healthy. :) :) :)

There are so many things to worry about: crazy religionists, crazy right-wing politicians, the environment, corrupt voting machines (are they really a problem???), alternative fuel sources, the war in Iraq, natural disasters...the list is endless. I don't even know where to concentrate my limited energies. :(

[Zodiak]

21. I focus on two things:

1. Inform my friends and family about everything I learn (which is why I come here mostly, to read). Apparently, I am the one with the most time and devotion to issues in my circle, so the burden falls on me (and to a lesser degree, my wife).

2. To change the Democratic party so it is accountable to the People and has a chance of beating the Republican juggernaut's agenda (instead of co-opting or enabling it).

To do much more while I am getting my PhD, being married and trying to stay healthy would hurt me badly, and I would not availble to lend a push to the next fight. I had a really, really bad heart episode before the 2004 election (anxiety out the wazoo), and learned to pull away at strategic times to avoid arhythmias and other heart unpleasantries.

You will have to trust that the fight goes on without you...remember, even real soldiers require leave and down-time. It is good for morale, and hence, good for the cause.

[CrispyQ]

14. Thank you for that excerpt.

I'm going to check that link out more thoroughly.

I recognize lots of DU screen names, but I have hardly any close associations. I'm probably closest to the folks in the veg forum for exactly the reasons stated in your excerpt. It is the one forum where I can release & reveal my sensitivity to the cruelties of the world & not be stomped on - figuratively, of course.

:hi:

[Zodiak]

23. I roam exclusively in GD:P and GD

Never have spent time in any other forum (save a peek at the 9-11 and research forum).

I run with no "cliques" on DU or anything like that. Out of two years here, 95% of my PMs are form letters from Skinner. I sure do recognize a lot of screen names, though. My fault, though...I do not come across as a very warm or emotional fellow even though I am both in real life.

I have a secret Santa that bought my membership for this year....that person will always be my friend, but I do not know who it is (thanks, again...wherever you are!).

[CrispyQ]

20. One of the things I love about DU,

is how it has made me a better person. I still have work to do, but DU opened my eyes to how intolerant & judgmental I was & to a lesser degree, still am.

I re-read the DU thread you referenced & really like the point you made in it:

The pain of loving someone with morality issues is very difficult to deal with. At this point, I'm thinking we're all human and prone to the same mistakes. Had I not attended college, I'd still be toeing the Republican Party line. I'd still be lost in dogmatic fundamentalism. Even as a fundy Republican, I had the best of intentions and would never have invoked greed to support my position as has my family. Yet my voting patterns would have been the same.

How much do you blame me, now?

How much would you blame a Ladyhawk who never had the chance to be exposed to ideas outside the fundy Republican bubble?

I realize that a comment I made in that thread was made by stereotyping all bush voters as a singular type. I would like to think that if I had read your comment first it would have opened my eyes to my own small mindedness. Oh well, at least it did this time. ;)

I don't believe in God, but I totally appreciate that saying: There, but for the grace of God, go I.

[smtpgirl]

35. I can totally appreciate your post

Thank you Ladyhawk, I care about people who care about sensitivity and are sensitive to others, you are a caring person.

I appreciate a lot of opinions, just don't need to get flamed, baited and berated about my own personal opinions or theories.

Thank you again


:)

[bonito]

78. I bookmarked that site thanks!

Just now realising this.

[CrispyQ]

9. It's amazing the effect anonymity has on people's behavior.

I think that is one problem of the internet. I'm always surprised at how quickly some DUers go into attack mode. I'll read responses that I feel are mean spirited & completely over-reactive to what the original poster wrote.


Bumper sticker philosophy: Better a bleeding heart than no heart at all.

:hug:

[Ladyhawk]

10. It happens in almost every thread, doesn't it?

I don't think this fact bodes well for Homo sapiens. We can be such nasty, devious, spiteful bastards.

[CrispyQ]

16. Years ago I dated a man who turned me onto science fiction.

He used to say, "I have no doubt that if there is other intelligent life in the universe, our species will be the most savage of all." I was so naive & thought what a cynical thing to say. Years later I find myself thinking of that statement & sadly, agreeing.

[Sapphire Blue]

11. I like that bumper sticker philosophy!

:hug:

[pecwae]

17. From another thinny

:hug: I think it's easier to be civil and don't understand why some feel the need to work so hard to be hurtful.

[Sapphire Blue]

18. ...

:hug:

[hashibabba]

22. Thanks so much for this thread. Now I know I'm not alone here!

I love to read DU, but am loathe to post more than an occasional sentence or two. I'm not flame-retardant like some here seem to be.

One night I was so mad (I wasn't posting, just reading), I took an extra aspirin before bed because I was afraid I'd have a heart attack overnight. LOL. I've since learned to skip a lot of certain types of threads.

[Sapphire Blue]

24. You are very welcome... and you are definitely not alone!

:hug:

[dogday]

25. Never harden your heart and keep

posting the information you do for all the causes we fight for....

:hug:

[Sapphire Blue]

26. ...

:hug:

[Uncle Joe]

27. As the great Huey Lewis sings

"That's the power of love" Thanks for posting Sapphire Blue

Kicked and recommended

[Sapphire Blue]

29. And as Sir Elton John sings, "Love is what we came here for"

Love Song

The words I have to say
May well be simple but theyre true
Until you give your love
Theres nothing more that we can do

Love is the opening door
Love is what we came here for
No one could offer you more
Do you know what I mean
Have your eyes really seen

You say its very hard
To leave behind the life we knew
But theres no other way
And now its really up to you

Love is the key we must turn
Truth is the flame we must burn
Freedom the lesson we must learn
Do you know what I mean
Have your eyes really seen

[H2O Man]

28. A good sense of humor,

and a detached appreciation for irony, may also help one navigate and indeed survive DU.

[Sapphire Blue]

30. A sense of humor is always good to have, as is appreciation for irony...

... on DU & elsewhere.

[EFerrari]

41. Or, to survive anything.

Happy War on Christmas, H20 Man.

[Zookeeper]

31. "Thick skin" doesn't have to mean "hard heart"

I have a fairly thick skin, but to me that means I am able to look at other poster's snarky comments objectively. As long as I remain civil, any nastiness on another DUers part is a reflection of their problems, not mine.

Not to say I don't get angry when insulted, but just because someone is insulting or judgemental doesn't mean they are right and you are wrong. Sometimes I actually end up feeling sorry for the nasty posters, because they are clearly troubled people.

[goclark]

36. My grandmother always told me to never put in writing

something I would be ashamed of later.

At DU, I still try to remember her words even if our names are not known.

I also try to learn from others and hope that others can learn from me.

I find that difficult when there are Race/DP, DUKE etc. threads at DU.

I have seen threads that will totally bash African Americans/others who are only trying to present the issue from the eyes of their experiences.

That is when my skin gets very thin because it is the way that so many racial problems get started.

I want to remain hopeful but my skin can only stretch so far.
While I realize the "Rules" are really saying, " if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen," that is tough when your people are being bashed left and right. Just punched sometimes.

In my view, there is a level of sensitivity that should be considered.

Wishful thinking.

[Zookeeper]

73. I understand what you are saying...

there was a thread recently about a celebrity caught in a "revealing" moment and one poster used a term to describe the woman's genitalia that was quite dehumanizing and new to me.

As a woman, I had every reason to feel hurt or offended by his obvious distain for the female body, but, when it comes down to it, the guy is a jerk. The problem isn't the celebrity's body, or my body, the problem belongs to the creep who made the comment.

He could have been more sensitive, but if that's his attitude toward women, then I'd rather know sooner than later, so I can take that into consideration when I read his subsequent posts. And, I do ignore him, without actually putting him on "ignore."

We just have to remember not to "own" other people's negativity.

[goclark]

77. You are so right

and to make my day a little brighter, I have put 3 people on ignore this year.

I have too much happiness in my life to be bothered with those that badger or are totally unkind to others.

Enjoy the New Year my friend!

goclark

[Zookeeper]

90. Happy New Year to you, too, Goclark....

:hug:

[CrispyQ]

79. "We just have to remember not to "own" other people's negativity."

Nicely stated. Sometimes hard to do, but a good thing to remember.

I have sometimes let a mean spirited comment ruin my day. It haunts me throughout the day. At some point, I realize what I'm doing & that I'm letting a stranger ruin my day. That realization helps me to let the negativity go.

Another thing that's interesting about some, is how they have to have the last word. Fine. Have it. I think they are trying to draw out the interaction, even though it's negative. I don't need that. And I really don't care if they feel that they 'showed' me. Fine. I've been showed!


:hi: Love your screen name!!

[Zookeeper]

91. Thanks, CrispyQ....

I have to admit, I was sucked into one of those "last word" things recently when I never intended to have an extended conversation in the first place. Seeing that it was a thread about, what I consider, a very personal decision I was surprised to be under attack. It made me so annoyed that I kept (calmly) responding to his astoundingly insulting and cold rhetoric. Finally, he kind of admitted that he was upset with another poster and taking it out on me. We agreed to disagreed, but, what a waste of my time and energy!

[blm]

37. I think I identify most with your assessment.

Sometimes you also have to remember that for some here, they have only just become aware of the governance of this country since 2000 theft or the Iraq war, so it is all encompassing for them, where us older folks have been watching a far bigger picture developing over the last 3 or 4 decades.

[Zookeeper]

49. I think a key when posting...

is to remember that there is a human behind each of these posts, for better or worse.

(BTW, thanks, Blm! :hi: )

[goclark]

92. You may be right blm

The younger members may be angry from 2000 + and we have a far bigger picture.

That big picture allows us to see other sides of the issues and the anger that we feel has other solutions.

Getting mad at each other is not the solution.

We all should be on the same TEAM.
When team members fight, the team is sure weaker.


PEACE

[Zodiak]

52. It helps that this site is so big

and there are a LOT of people with which to interact.

On a smaller board, my reactions were more pronounced because I "knew" the members more.

But you are right...someone who is nasty as a default to ostensible political allies might need a healthy dose of "chill pill" for their troubles.

[EFerrari]

32. Sapphire Blue, l love you and thank you.

:hug:

[Sapphire Blue]

33. sfexpat2000, I love you, too, and you're welcome.

:hug:

[DoYouEverWonder]

34. DU like any other family

certainly has its moments. If anyone thinks GD is bad, come hang out in the 9-11 forum. Whew! One thing I won't put up with is people who resort to personal insults and putdowns. It's the end of the conversation as far as I'm concerned. The result is a much more civil dialog.

[CrispyQ]

38. Is there some kind of feud between GD & the Lounge?

I've read a few comments, but not being deeply integrated, a lot goes by me.

[Tin Man]

39. Illegitimi Non Carborundum

:)

[Sapphire Blue]

46. No, I won't.

:hi:

[hunter]

40. I post my heart here.

And I don't put anyone on ignore.

I don't think it's a matter of having a thick or a thin skin, it's more like dancing above the madness.

Some of people in the pits are pretty damned mean, but when I think about it, posting mean here is a pretty sad life.

[Sapphire Blue]

50. Thank you for sharing your heart w/us!

:hug:

[bliss_eternal]

42. I love the way you said this....

:hug: ...thank you! :hi:

[Sapphire Blue]

45. ..

:hi: :hug: :loveya:

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

43. Very Good Post. Short, Sweet And Meaningful. K&R.

[Gregorian]

44. We're all different. We're all the same.

I like your post a lot.

One thing I have learned about life is that it is a mystery. It's amazing that math and materials got us on the moon. But anyone who says they know something, doesn't realize the whole truth. One of the most honest things is "I don't know".

Arrogance is just a way of feeling safe.

Well how do you like that? I just totally lost my train of thought. Duh! It's ok. Maybe that's all I had to say.

Let there be mystery. But let us be forgiving and strong at the same time. And tolerant.

[Sapphire Blue]

47. Indeed, we are!

:toast: to being forgiving, strong, and tolerant. (And accepting of frailties, like forgetfulness ;) )

[bridgit]

48. true, k&r'd, thick skin is one thing m'dear, and i have a very thick skin when called...

or put upon to display it; sometimes in spades oh well...but it is also true and i agree with you, it should not need be thought a proper course to exist from within none but a thick skin/thick head, perhaps even especially here and so...

i have been spending less time posting here where some will say, 'good riddance, bitch!' and mean it, while yet others still have already agreed with that option as well :shrug:; neither do i associate myself with threads such as: "Yippie!! We're all starting to argue again like the proper dems we are WOOHOO!!"

that is gobbledygook, and some have already agreed with me there as well

Sapphire Blue, please accept my wishes for a Joyous, Prosperous New Years Next for you & yours...and Peace! :hi:

[Sapphire Blue]

51. ...

:hug: May this upcoming year be good to you & yours, also... and I hope to still see you here... 'gobbledygook' and all ;).

[EFerrari]

53. kick

[calimary]

54. You are a permeable membrane in the best sense of the word.

Thank you for being there. You are that which gives DU its heart and soul.

[Sapphire Blue]

55. ...

I'll have to use that next time someone tells me I need thicker skin ;)

:hi: :hug: I'm so glad you are here, calimary.

[calimary]

58. Always, dahlink!

You are the best, sweetie!

:yourock:

[cboy4]

56. Isn't this the truth?

DU should start a heart transplant fund for certain members. :)

[Sapphire Blue]

61. If I could, I'd give everyone in the world a big, beautiful, loving heart.

Even bush. Make that especially bush.

[cboy4]

64. I know you would. Your kindness always bubbles out

in your posts.

It's admirable. ;)

[undergroundpanther]

59. I stay the hell out of the lounge

Too many bullies who think they are funny in there.
Yeah I'm one of the tenderhearted, even though I get can pretty pissed off and vicious once some jerk insists on rubbing my fur the wrong way whilst giggling and shitting with the gaggle of sarcastic onlookers . I've had my limit of abrasive idiots met here on DU more than a few times .The claws come out . The claws do not mean my skin is thick all of a sudden , usually it means I am hurting and the jackass won't stop hurting me so I let them have it. I got a tender heart & sharp claws!

[Sapphire Blue]

62. I hear you, undergroundpanther!

:hi:

[bliss_eternal]

63. .....

:hug:

[Cleita]

71. The lounge was fun at one time but it's descended into

something too juvenile for me to waste my time there, so I don't really go there either. I probably miss some important stuff there, but I can't be bothered to swim through the dross for it.

[undergroundpanther]

60. Thick skins might be holding back positive changes

I think those who go demanding sensitives grow thick skins are standing in the way of positive social changes and our freedom as human beings...

(to survive) And we will need to get to know each other, on a regular basis. Community is not built by occassionally meeting at a bar or coffee house every few months. It means finding a way to get together regularly, to become, as Hakim Bey says, "groups of friends trying not just to overcome isolation but also to enhance each other's lives". In adopting new ways of thinking and seeing we need to adopt new ways of doing and relating. We must see that this stranger, this "other", shares our desires, and becomes a brother through trust and intimacy.

And by getting to know each other intimately we can then feel comfortable asking each other to help us raise each other's barn, rather than hiring a contractor to do it. We need to learn to develop trust so that we can send out an appeal to our collective, our mutual-aid society, our Tong, and expect to receive rapid responses of assistance. We need to learn to share, to pool our resources, to come to each other's aid → thereby learning to trust each other → thereby achieving intimacy and friendship → thereby developing our own economies → which will lead to new everday living.


http://inspectorlohmann.blogspot.com/2006/12/building-invisible-comic-community.html

[Sapphire Blue]

66. The Beloved Community... which so many seem to have forgotten.

Will we ever get there? I fervently hope so.

Now, off to peruse your link...

[Jcrowley]

70. Kick

Veblen, Polanyi and Bookchin in one post deserves a

:toast:

[bobbolink]

88. "getting to know each other intimately"

requires transparency, and the feeling of safety.

One can't reveal oneself in the atmosphere of ridicule and criticism!!

This lack of safety can at least partly explain why there is so little true "community" among USians, and why isolation is at critical mass.

[Jcrowley]

65. Yes my friend

Looking down on empty streets, all she can see
Are the dreams all made solid
Are the dreams all made real

All of the buildings, all of those cars
Were once just a dream
In somebodys head

She pictures the broken glass, she pictures the steam
She pictures a soul
With no leak at the seam

Lets take the boat out
Wait until darkness
Lets take the boat out
Wait until darkness comes

Nowhere in the corridors of pale green and grey
Nowhere in the suburbs
In the cold light of day

There in the midst of it so alive and alone
Words support like bone

Dreaming of mercy st.
Wear your inside out
Dreaming of mercy
In your daddy(s arms again
Dreaming of mercy st.
swear they moved that sign
Dreaming of mercy
In your daddys arms

Pulling out the papers from the drawers that slide smooth
Tugging at the darkness, word upon word

Confessing all the secret things in the warm velvet box
To the priest-hes the doctor
He can handle the shocks

Dreaming of the tenderness-the tremble in the hips
Of kissing marys lips

Dreaming of mercy st.
Wear your insides out
Dreaming of mercy
In your daddys arms again
Dreaming of mercy st.
swear they moved that sign
Looking for mercy
In your daddys arms

Mercy, mercy, looking for mercy
Mercy, mercy, looking for mercy

Anne, with her father is out in the boat
Riding the water
Riding the waves on the sea

- Peter Gabriel

[Sapphire Blue]

69. Mercy... much needed by all, given freely by few.

:hi:

[Cleita]

68. There are posters here, some have been here a long time, who

are just plain mean and do try to hurt other posters with thinly veiled insults. I could name names but it's against the rules and maybe you might like them. What I find helpful is to put the offenders, the DUers who rub you the wrong way, on ignore. The second thing to do is to hide entire threads you find offensive or juvenile or mean spirited. When I do this I find DU a much more pleasant and educational place to hang around. The filters are very effective in bringing the cream to the top.

[Sapphire Blue]

72. Yes, there are.

I'm thinking about putting up a new avatar (garlic) to see if it'll fend 'em off ;).

[EFerrari]

74. kick

[Solly Mack]

75. I'll take the hurt each and every time

the alternative is just too ugly...

(((Sapphire Blue)))

People mistake a kind heart for being weak - there is nothing stronger.

[pecwae]

76. Wish I could rec this post.

It is so true. Thank you.

[Sapphire Blue]

82. Your words are so true!

:hug: :loveya:

[bonito]

80. A very insightfull post

I read all of your post I come by.:)

[Sapphire Blue]

83. Thanks, bonito :)

:hi:

[Sugar Smack]

81. YOU are wonderful!

That was a beautiful post. Thank you for it. It provides proper perspective for the rest of us using beautiful words. We just love you, Sapphire.

:loveya: :applause:

[Sapphire Blue]

84. Sugar Smack, thank you for such kind words about my ramblings!

:hi: :hug:

[bobbolink]

85. "allows love to flow in and out"

Right there is the crux of the matter.

Having a "thick skin" (or my "favorite"--GAK--"grow a skin") simply means one is putting on armor.

Armor does nothing to create a kind and "progressive" society.

The big issue is that the armor DOES keep the positive from flowing in. Armor works both ways.

If we want to be able to spread "warm fuzzies", we need to be able to have permeable "skin" (lack of armor) so those warm fuzzies can be received.

Sadly, I don't see much hope of that. Like many things, I think this will have to run it's course of attack in this society until most people are sick of it, and see the damage that is done.

Thanks, as always for posting this, Sapphire Blue! :applause:

Right on target! :thumbsup:

[Sapphire Blue]

86. Ah, yes, putting on armor... becoming untouchable...

... untouchable in so many ways... becoming isolated... dying inside while still breathing.
Here's to permeable "skin" :toast:

:hug: :loveya:

[bobbolink]

87. I agree with Jean Vanier... the need of a safe haven

for those of us who like our "skin" the way it is, and choose, ala Solly Mack, to keep our hearts permeable, and therefore, take the hits.

We need a refuge from the UGLY. :applause:

:hug: to you, Sapphire Blue!

I'm particularly reminded of all this as I attend the Pueblo Dances. It's their refuge from the ugly world which has allowed them to keep the softness of their culture!

:loveya:!!

[EFerrari]

89. Kick

[Sapphire Blue]

94. ...

:hug: My favorite flowers!

[Zookeeper]

93. Perhaps, there could be a group on DU...

with a more stringent set of rules about posting. "The Gentle Discussion Group." It sounds like a lot of people share your POV on this, Sapphire Blue, so that could be doable.

I do need to add, as a "thick skin," that I don't have a thick heart. I give and receive a lot of love in my life. I don't take insults personally, but, I dearly appreciate and absorb the good feelings I exchange with DUers.

[Sapphire Blue]

95. Civility across the board would be a good thing, too.

:hug: I'm glad that you don't have a thick heart ;).