Top 10 things a Republican would NEVER say

[Rocknrule]

post your ideas here

[Vincardog]

1. I was WRONG

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

2. We respect your privacy.

[JeffR]

3. It's not Clinton's fault

[rusty_parts2001]

4. "Cindy, I apologize"

[Tim4319]

5. I'm Sorry!

[Tim4319]

9. I will take full responsibility for......

[jsamuel]

6. The poor need more help.

[Earth_First]

7. quid pro quo

[BurgherHoldtheLies]

8. We spend your tax dollars like drunken sailors.

[sandnsea]

10. Let me help you

well, they would say it but only to lure you in so they could pick your pocket.

[Rocknrule]

11. "Gays are people too"

[NanceGreggs]

12. Sure Jack Abramoff is a pal of mine ...

... we've been hangin' together for YEARS!!!!

[proud patriot]

13. " I need to think of other people more often "

[Vincardog]

14. Ray Gun was wrong Trickle Down is a LIE

[LittleClarkie]

15. It's not fair to just blame the Democrats when we do (whatever) too

Heard a local pundit whining about this "Why pick on the Repub when Dems did it too." Think he'd ever twist that around and insist that a Republican doing wrong be prosecuted as well as a Dem?

[Road Scholar]

16. Are you hungry? Let me share my bread and fish with you. nt

[tocqueville]

17. 25 RULES FOR BEING A GOOD REPUBLICAN!

1) You believe that drug addiction is a moral failing and a crime, unless the addict is a millionaire conservative radio jock which then makes it an "illness" and he needs our prayers for his "recovery".
2) You believe that those privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.
3) You believe that the US should get out of the UN, and that our highest national priority is to enforce the UN's resolutions against Iraq.
4) You believe that government should stay out of people's lives but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.
5) You believe that pollution is okay, so long as it makes a profit.
6) You believe in prayer in schools, as long as they don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
7) "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.
8) You believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.
9) You believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary.
10) You hate the ALCU for representing convicted felons, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.
11) You believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits.
12) You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.
13) You believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
14) You believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.
15) You believe that government medicine is wrong and that HMOs and insurance companies have your best interests at heart.
16) You believe that giving free health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but giving free health care to Americans is socialism.
17) You believe that tobacco's link to cancer and global warming are "junk science", but Creationism should be taught in schools.
18) You believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.
19) You believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.
20) You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution, which includes banning gay marriages and censoring the internet.
21) You believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter".
22) You believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to censor 28 pages from the Congressional 9.11 report because you just can't handle the truth.
23) You support state rights, which means Ashcroft telling states what locally passed voter initiatives he will allow them to have.
24) You believe that what Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest but what Bush did in the 80s is "stale news" and "irrelevant".
25) You believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is communist, but trading with China and Vietnam is good for business.

courtesy yahoo message boards

[LincolnMcGrath]

35. Excellent!

[Gregorian]

18. I don't know.

Man, these are some good posts. Great thread Rocknrule.

[Rocknrule]

19. Anything Jesus said

[muntrv]

20. I BELIEVE

in the separation of church and state.

[1620rock]

23. God loves all of his children.

[Rocknrule]

21. Violence is never the solution

[mrcheerful]

22. Today I'm going to give a tax break to the middle class and working poor.

Today I'm going to tax the top 1% and get rid of all the loop holes they use to get out of paying taxes, ie..off shore banking is now taxable.

Today I'm going to follow and up hold the consititution.

Today I'm going to stop blaming everything I do wrong on democrats and liberals.

today I'm going to regulate big business and investagate their business pratices.

Today I'm going to end big oil companies gauging the american public.

Today I'm going to actualy tell the truth and not try to spin my lies as reasonable doubt.

Today I'm going to admit I broke the law by spying on americans.

Today I'm really going to give you the true numbers on the unemployed.

Today I'm giving you the real state of the union, we are in sorry shape.

[Rocknrule]

24. Hitler was an evil person

[Initech]

25. "Hey everybody, drugs are good! Let's go smoke some weed!"

[ComerPerro]

43. Oh, they would say that. Just not in public

You are familiar, I assume, with George W Bush and his "party hard" philosophies?

[Vinnie From Indy]

26. The poor ones - "My IQ is over 50" - The rich ones - "Let's help the poor"

n/t

[AmandaRuth]

27. yes we are out to destroy Social Security, being that

it is a socialist new deal program. What we are gonna due is keep spreading the myth that it is a "problem" that must be "dealt with" or it will go "broke" sometime before the majority of the baby boomers retire. Then we are gonna increase spending and cut taxes (but only for the rich) to create a self fulling destiny. SCORE! We win! Packing the supreme court will only help!

[muntrv]

28. I'M GOING TO THE LOCAL RECRUITERS OFFICE

to enlist in the U.S. Army.

[Name removed]

31. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[FSogol]

40. BS n/t

[Norwood]

29. * misled the US about Iraq

[liberal43110]

30. I have no clue how cutting taxes for the rich creates jobs.

[Rocknrule]

32. My opponent won fair and square

[EvolveOrConvolve]

33. "I have a large penis and am secure in my sexuality."

[Rocknrule]

34. I don't drive an SUV, it's bad for the environment

[w8liftinglady]

39. lol...

[DainBramaged]

44. I have a little tiny penis but that's ok, penis size isn't important

I'd never yank the gold teeth out of Grandma's mouth.

I wouldn't take money from the crippled children's donation jar.

I'd never kick my dog.

I would not shoot that deer on my property even if I had a gun in my hand.

I would never own a gun.

I don't believe in war for oil.

I'd never lie.

[Proud2BAmurkin]

36. I support this war. Where do I sign up?

nt

[PBass]

38. I care about equality

Lets give the "little guy" a break
Lets all make sure that nobody in America is starving or freezing to death
There is nothing inherently honorable about being wealthy
What can I do to help give the underpriveleged a hand "up"

[Charlie Brown]

37. "I'm pro-choice" n/t

[gratuitous]

41. That's a good point, I'll have to think about that

That's a good argument, I hadn't thought about it that way before.

[Cleetus]

42. "I'm a stupid, delusional asshole. I apologize" (NT)

[raccoon]

45. "Sometimes, bad things just happen to people through

no fault of their own."

[madinmaryland]

46. I am going to ban all corporate politcal contributions to any

candidate or PAC. Since corporation do not have the right to vote, they should not have the right to contribute financially to any political candidate or group.

[HughBeaumont]

47. "You know who has the right business idea? CostCo"

"Sometimes, bad luck happens to hard-working people."

"I don't support job offshoring. It's bad for a corporation's overall long-term financials."

"Who the hell NEEDS another billion-dollar aircraft carrier? We need that money for schools and housing!"

"I've come to realize that blaming the Clintons for everything is a little bit silly."

"Sigh . . . this war is wrong."

[Rocknrule]

48. Why can't we all just get along?