A friend of mine went back to her maiden name

[dsc]

normally that isn't an issue for a political board but her husband is Arabic and she is sick of the government hassle that her name causes her. Her husband is Iraqi but they can't write or call their relatives in Iraq due to our government forbidding it (since 1991). We should be ashamed of this. She has had FBI agents at her house and all the rest. Now she is going by her maiden name. Let's hope it helps.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

1. That's awful

I considered legally changing my name when I reverted, but the prejudice against Islamic names is so great I never have.

[msongs]

13. what exactly is an islamic name?

I know muslims with perfectly historical british culture names. I know muslims with names that are arab in tradition.

Msongs
www.msongs.com

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

23. I'm talking of first names

Ayesha is an Islamic name, for example.

[sanskritwarrior]

2. You can call Iraq

I call my friends on their cell phones in the Green Zone all the time.......

[dsc]

3. evidently their phones are tapped on top of everything else

I also gather that the family in Iraq is kind of in the boonies and not where things are going well.

[sanskritwarrior]

5. Ok

phone service outside the major cities aint great, but why would his phones be tapped? Is he a dissident or former Saddamist. I believe you, it just seems weird.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

7. because he's talking to the 'enemy'

I have no doubts that ALL comunications to the ME are being monitored.

[stillcool]

10. seems weird?

seems completely normal to me. Just recently I heard King George say that the government should continue to listen to communications from those inside the US speaking to the 'terrorists'. Seeing as how everyone in the Middle East is surely suspect it's only logical. Your post did peek my curiosity though...how would one define a 'dissident' in Iraq?

[dsc]

19. she didn't say and I didn't ask

[walldude]

25. Wierd? I got news for you...

Every phone in America is tapped. Say the wrong words, like Allah, Bomb, Jihad and see how fast the government gets into your life....

[MikeNearMcChord]

4. The war on terrah, is an enduring national shame

It may decades, if not centuries for America to be rid of it.

[etherealtruth]

6. I kept my name when I married

It had to do with building a reputation in my field ... not the fact that I married a Muslim.

My Child rem have have an Indian last name, my sons have Christian first names and Arabic middle names; my daughter has an Arabic first name and middle name.

I have been called by teachers inquiring about the language we speak in our home ... when my daughter (the academic achiever) was in 2nd grade the question was spat out like an accusation ... there is no end to the subtle biases and assumptions made solely based upon the children's names.

[seabeyond]

14. i totally love and embrace diversity

i love learning and listening to others about their experiences and knowledge that i have no clue. i feed on that. i could easily ask you and others those questions for the simple pleasure of listening ot diversity and learning something new. just wanted to share. not all questions are for negative reasons. that being said, i fully appreciate the fact simply because of name you would be subjected to both in your face bigotry and subtle. and i am sorry.

[Cleita]

18. I didn't keep my maiden name because I liked my husband's

surname better. But if my maiden name had been a little less silly and the object of jokes, I would have kept it.

[etherealtruth]

20. Unfortunately ...

Both of our names lend themselves very easily to jokes ... in that vein it was a "no win" situation.

I ended up getting divorced, so keeping my name was a good choice all the way around.

* I truly can't imagine your name prompting more inane jokes than mine:)

[Donnachaidh]

8. Wouldn't this bring MORE spying down on her?

I dunno, but I would think this action would cause her more problems (WHY are you going by your maiden name? Are you trying to *evade* the taps, etc., that we have put on your family?).

I don't like to think this way, but our government has lost it's collective mind and I would be very fearful of their reaction to this new change of hers.

She's dealing with raging paranoids looking for a reason to disappear people. I would be worried.

[Sen. Walter Sobchak]

9. I know a couple that did this,

He is Iranian she is Mexican - but he looks more Mediterranean than Persian and speaks perfect european Spanish so he took her name.

[Berry Cool]

11. Personally I don't know why women change their names when they marry at all.

Most of them do it without a second thought, but to most men the very idea of doing such a thing would be anathema. In other words, women are expected to routinely do something most men wouldn't even think of being asked to do, and are looked askance at if they question why they should. They're questioned as to why they should care...when the fact is, most people DO care about their names. Their loyalty to and love of their husbands is questioned. They're asked what they will call their children, whether or not they even plan on having any. In short, it's an issue...when to my mind it shouldn't be.

[seabeyond]

15. i have no problem what so ever taking hubby name. nor do i have a

single problem if someone doesnt. does not even rise on my scale of something to be outraged about. every single person is capable of making there own personal decision

[Cleita]

17. In my perfect world, women would keep their name. Their

children would also take their mother's name with their father's name as one of a middle name. So for instance if Mary Ellen is the daughter of Elsa and John

Her name legally would be something like Mary Ellen John Elsa. Her half sister Frances May, whose father is Edward, would have a legal name like Frances May Edward Elsa.

The siblings would be known as members of the Elsa family. Of course Elsa is the founding matriarch and her name would be passed on down the generations like Smith.

[mcscajun]

21. That's an intriguing idea.

:)

[Donnachaidh]

24. I kept my maiden name and even after a couple of decades

find people questioning me about it. It's the *ownership* feeling I disliked from the get go. Luckily my husband is above all that nonsense. But we get our portion of tweaks about it still, mainly from our fundie neighbors.

[krabigirl]

12. That is awful! (nt)

[Cleita]

16. Maybe he ought to take her name too.

I understand there might be a cultural hesitancy there but it sure could make both their lives easier.

[SoyCat]

22. My sister is married to an Italian whose name is actually Arabic (the whole Southern Italy Moorish

connection) and she got a lot of prying questions about her surname after September 11th. It's died down now.

[Th1onein]

26. But but WAIT.......I thought we were bringing freedom to the Iraqis?

This makes no sense at all. I thought these were the people we were liberating? Huh? You mean, you mean, Bush is lying? OH MY GOD! Who would have thought it?

[NMMNG]

27. Welcome to the world of profiling

:-(