You’d have to know my son. This child turned man. My son used to be a sensitive guy. I remember when he wanted a kitten because dogs scared him. We went to a farm and he picked the scrawniest, ugliest smallest kitten there. My son slept with that cat till the day he left for boot camp. Is this the same person that used to hold my hand as a teenager or throw his arm around me when we were out in public? Is this the same person that we always made sure we said goodnight to each other and expressed our love? When we were apart talked on the phone as frequently as possible and always ended each phone call with I love you? Is this the son who held me in his arms and we cried together at the airport when he was leaving for Iraq? Where is my son? GEORGE BUSH, GIVE ME BACK MY SON!
My son wouldn’t look me in the eyes when he first returned from Iraq. He always seemed nervous and jumpy. Riding in the car with him as he weaved from lane to lane avoiding any road debris. Tollbooths made him crazy. He didn’t sleep at night and seemed on edge. Alcohol was becoming his way to induce sleep.
Fast forward to August 2005. I hadn’t heard from my son in awhile. He has been slowly pushing away everyone that loves and cares for him. We live in different states and it’s hard to track him. In August I found him. He looked like a skeleton. He looked so skinny. The soldier’s body long gone. His eyes held sadness. He asked for 20 bucks for food he had none in his refrigerator. He only visited with me a half hour even though I had driven 300 miles to see him. He took off. I went home. The phone calls became less and less. Days turned to months. I didn’t hear from him at thanksgiving, not a word at Christmas, New years passed with out a sound.
Then came the dream. Mothers are bonded to their children. We know their hurts, their pains, we feel them even when their thousands of miles away. On January 9th the dream came. In the dream there was an Iraqi, my son and me. We were attached through ropes. Suddenly my son was hoisted in the air and his body slammed against a beam and he couldn’t breathe he was choking…I will never forget the look in his eyes. I woke up unnerved and unable to return to sleep. The next morning I called my son’s ex-girlfriend. He had recently x’ed her out of his life they had been dating since sophomore year in high school. She stated my son had been arrested over the weekend for fighting. My son has only had one speeding ticket in his entire life..Certainly not violent. Then 2 hours later my mother called. When my son returned from Iraq he bought a car with his combat pay, my mother cosigned. My mom stated that the bank had contacted her about a week ago and he was behind in payments. The car was up for repossession. I was becoming increasingly worried. When I got into work the next day I had an emergency phone call from my sons ex girlfriend. She told me through her tears that my son had driven his car over an embankment. She saw the car she couldn’t believe he survived. She had talked to some of his friends that told her he was crying that night and talking about the war. Whenever my son gets a few beers in him his friends tell me he talks about the war. they describe it as “Crazy talk”. He wants the blood of the Iraqis he killed off his hands. He then left and drove his car at high speed over an embankment.
http://www.teambio.org/2006/02/state-of-our-family-address/
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