How often do you Monkey up your face?

[BuyingThyme]

I've been pretty active for my entire life.

I enjoy the outdoors, take risks, even ride a bike now and again.

But I can't think of a 4-year (5-plus-year, actually) period where I've had as much visible damage done to my face as has Oval Office Chimpy. I've had it worse, but not as many instances, as far as I remember.

How 'bout you?

Note: A "Yes" response will not count against your liberal/progressive credentials.

[Nicole]

1. Once in 40+ years

is all that I can recall.

edit to add:
I didn't do that on furniture either. Nor were pretzels involved. :rofl:

[Catch22Dem]

2. Funny you should mention it today...

I swiped my daughter's neck pillow today, just to be an ass. So, she grabs another neck pillow and rares back and cracks me in the face with it. (I was lying on my back looking straight up) No big deal, right? Nope, it felt like she hit me with a fucking brick. Turns out this pillow was a "vibrating" pillow and had a nice little battery pack in it. It was a total accident and she felt awful, then I felt really bad for her as well.

I'm not kiddin' ya, it hurt like hell. Got me a shiner and everything. :D

[BuyingThyme]

4. Oh man, sorry 'bout that.

I remember similar instances as a child. They used to have those stuffed animals with the wind-up music boxes inside. I think the boxes were made of titanium and held in place with lead weights.

When you chuck one of those things at your little sister, it can get ugly.

[bammertheblue]

18. this is totally unrelated

but I love your little picture thing (is it called the avator? to me that sounds like the person who flies the plane). Anyway- just wanted to say I think it's cool!

[Catch22Dem]

20. Thanks!

I made it myself. Obviously, I'm a big fan of the book. The movie was good too.

[bammertheblue]

22. I love the book

I read it first a long time ago...I was maybe 15. I never saw the movie- I was afraid it would wreck it for me.
Did you read the sequel?

[Catch22Dem]

29. Actually go ahead and watch the movie too

It's one of the very few instances where the movie adaptation of a book turned out quite well. Alan Arkin, Jon Voight, Norman Fell, Art Garfunkle, Charles Grodin, Richard Benjamin, Martin Balsam, etc... they were all great and the movie stayed quite true to the book. Of course they had to leave out some stuff for the sake of time, but they did a good job.

Never read the sequel.

[Earth_First]

3. 26 years: 50 [or so] stitches, one dislocated shoulder, one broken ankle

and a reconstructive knee surgery.

We play hard.

[BuyingThyme]

6. And still a "No..." vote?

[Earth_First]

7. Nah, I just couldn't pull myself together enough...

to pull ANY lever with "Chimpy" associated with it. :crazy:

[BuyingThyme]

9. In the interest of defending democracy, I'm going to have to

use my vote in proxy.

[CoffeeCat]

5. Did Junior hoark up his face again?

I assume from the poll topic, that Junior has another "abrasion" on his face.

Is that right?

Shag carpeting can be brutal on a tender face.... Just thinking out loud.

[BuyingThyme]

8. Yes, there're a couple good threads goin' here about 'em.

[Warren DeMontague]

25. New Years Eve, another "abrasion".

Wow. Go figure.

[BuyingThyme]

27. It's a mystery.

What is the link between watching football on TV and celebrating the new year?

[SpiralHawk]

10. Scarface Bush

He may have been AWOL reading My Pet Goat when the nation needed a leader on 9/11, but Scarface Bush always shows up for duty when someone is needed to stuff a pretzel down the gullet or take a header off of a $1,000 bike.

Pray tell, what is the official "explanation" for the latest stigmata?

* PS For the sake of the Scientific Survey, I am out in the woods and up in the mountains and swinging heavy tools -- power and otherwise -- all the time, and I work on my own truck too under the carriage and otherwise. I might get a facial scratch once every 3 or 4 years.

[Journeyman]

11. I haven't eaten pretzels in years. . .

but then, never had such problems, either. I didn't mess up my face so often even when I was drinking. . . and I'm sure I imbibed as much if not more than George W. on many an occasion.

[MuseRider]

12. I have a ranch of my own

and I do all the work myself. I ride my horses, tractor around, cut brush, throw hay, all the usual stuff all by myself and in the last 10 years I have hurt myself many times but only once have I ever had a visible cut and it was on my leg.

I have no clue what is up with this asshole but something tells me it ain't ranching that is hurting him.

[BuyingThyme]

13. In all fairness, I doubt you spend as much time

cutting the brush.

[MuseRider]

19. That is true there is always

too much work to do, cutting brush is way down the list.

[Jane Austin]

14. Hey, Buddy! Are you the philosophy lover and former Austinite on

whose grammar post I hitch-hiked a while back?

Nice to see you!

We only have five acres, but we do have ten or so big dogs, so there are plenty of opportunities for clipping, decking and flattening. And then there is the multitude of accidents waiting to happen because of balls, dog toys, chew bones and - - the most lethal of all - - Invisible Dog Vomit, that clear and slimy deposit, which on a tile floor can cause the unsuspecting human to slip, slide, skate, windmill and otherwise be propelled across the room until a solid object is met.

Even so, most of my boo-boos are on my knees and shins and my face remains pretty much presentable, if I do say so myself. :)

[MuseRider]

17. Oh my goodness!

With 3 dogs of my own I KNOW the dog vomit scene. Lol.

Nope, always a Kansan but it is nice to meet you!

[Jane Austin]

21. Hmmm . . . your life sounded something like his, and the Muse in your

handle made me think of him.

Nice to meet you, too!

[bammertheblue]

15. Maybe Laura is beating him

"I walked into a door".
Okay, that's in really bad taste, but I'm in a vulgar kind of mood. Sorry.

Edit to say that I actually really have walked into a door...more than once. Walls and overhangs too. But then, I am a spaz.

[Contrary1]

16. That's not a cut from his brush clearing escapades...

his most recent injury was inflicted by a falling toilet seat.

Take it from someone who's been there. ;-)

[BuyingThyme]

26. You'd think they'd pay somebody to watch out for that.

But, then again, he watches TV with nobody around for miles but the dog.

[Warren DeMontague]

23. I haven't done anything even remotely like that to my head

since I quit drinking.

Make of that what you will.

[johnfunk]

24. Pretzel + Jack = Monkey Face

[Greybnk48]

28. my parrot bit me tonight on the eyebrow

scared the daylights out of me it was so close to my eye!! Just barely broke the skin ( a little blood).

As for the moran's* face, my husband and I have a lifelong friend who is an alcoholic. He tries to hide it from us, poor thing, because we have tried unsuccessfully in the past to get him into treatment, several times. Now he just insists he has quit. But every few months he shows up with cuts and bruises on his face. He has broken his nose about three times in the past ten years. He was hit by a car on his bicycle this summer. And just about two months ago he split his lip and chipped his front tooth. He always says he trips over his dogs, or slipped on the ice, or something like that.

The only other person I have ever personally seen with the same injuries is *. I think he goes to the hogfarm to get plotched. I also think that he could not respond to the tsunami for three days until they were able to dry him out. But he's not in charge anyway. Dickie Pig Valves is running the show.

[BuyingThyme]

30. ..