NSA: "We think it is necessary and legal to tap confessionals."

[jsamuel]

Washington - Earlier today, the NSA released a statement about the new tactic to trap terrorists posing as Christians by recording their confessions:

"We think it is necessary and legal to tap confessionals. Without this tool, we would not be able to randomly select the right people at airports because these terrorists posing as Christians would not be easily detected. What better way to find out who is plotting to bomb us than to listen in on confessionals? This way we know exactly what these terrorists are up to. Those who say we would use this information against ordinary Americans must have something to hide."

While the NSA commented on how this tactic helped them fight terrorism, they did not say how it was legal other than what was released last week:

"What? It's legal. If not, what are you going to do about it? Nothing... Next question..."

(Note: This is satire.)

[Peter Frank]

1. Was this from the "State of the Onion Address?" n/t

[jsamuel]

2. no, I just wrote it

[Peter Frank]

4. I kind of figured that...

...Just wanted to get a semi-clever quip in ;)

[Maraya1969]

3. Thanks for the heads up. I was just going to ask for a link. The sad

thing is this is where the county is heading and nobody can say it will never happen. When did we think we could be spied on at will, with no probable cause?

[Peter Frank]

5. It is sad that this kind of thing is believable...

...Goes to show haw far offtrack our nation has become.

[RC]

6. Terrorist ain't that dumb.

They will just pose as Holy Roller Baptists and their ranting will seem normal. :eyes:

[Delphinus]

7. Understanding that this is just satire,

and admitting I am not a Christian, aren't Catholics the only ones who use confessionals? Don't Christians just get up and ask forgiveness, en masse, without ever elucidating their sins?

That being asked, I wish the boy king and his minions would do something like this. It might be EXACTLY what is needed to wake the sheeple up.

[DemonGoddess]

8. I'm Catholic, but I think maybe

Episcopalians also have a form of confessional? Not sure tho.

[muriel_volestrangler]

9. Certainly not the Church of England

and I'd doubt other Anglicans do either. I couldn't say for Orthodox churches.

[jsamuel]

10. kick for fun