McDonald's To Open In Baghdad By Summer 2006

[Ernesto]

(Baghdad--Iraq) Iraq has come of consumer culture age in 2006. Forget the elections. Forget the newly planted seeds of a semi-totalitarian theocracy. At a ground breaking ceremony Wednesday, Secretaries of Defense and State Donald Rumsfeld and Condoleezza Rice, along with a Ronald McDonald clown, will turn over the first three shovels of dirt for what is to be the first McDonald's in Baghdad. Secretary Rumsfeld proclaimed: "It's our new program, McGuns & McButter."

http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=1405

[tx_dem41]

1. First Abu Ghraib....now McRibs....

Those Bastards!

[Clark2008]

19. Somehow, I don't think McRibs will be popular.

:crazy:

Actually, I think that store will, forgive the unintended pun, bomb.

Arabic food is too damn good for anyone to want to venture over for a McGoat sandwich.

:puke:

[tx_dem41]

21. Although I would agree with you on its survivability (literally),

having traveled around the world, you would be surprised how popular Mickey D's can be.

[Dorian Gray]

23. Must agree....

I've seen Mickie Ds in some very strange places.

[Clark2008]

24. I'm sure it is - but not in Baghdad.

[depakid]

27. They are also big targets

in many countries.

And well they should be. They pretty well epitomize everything ugly about America and Americans, and have little redeeming value.

[Lefty48197]

2. Happy days are here again, the sky above is clear again...

Wow McDonalds. That's just what they need. How about a Walmart, some big oil companies and some insurance companies?

[liberalmarine06]

3. there is already

a burger king and a subway in baghdad. now this just tops it off

[Ernesto]

9. Welcome to the DU, my brother!

Semper Phi!

[TomClash]

4. 50 years of war and I'm lovin' it!

New McDonald's ad in Baghdad

:sarcasm:

[NanceGreggs]

8. And considering the 'safe & secure' situation ...

... within twenty years, the sign will proudly proclaim:

"Over 200 served!"

[NanceGreggs]

5. Notice to McCustomers:

"No armoured vest, no flack jacket, no service ..."

[womanofthehills]

6. We need to fatten them up

So they will crave the rest of our chemical food

[hlthe2b]

7. Can't wait to see the McDonald's uniforms--complete with flak jackets

and helmets!

(haven't the iraqi people suffered enough?)

[mac56]

10. The legend has it that no two countries that both have McDonalds

have ever gone to war with each other.

Guess this busts that theory.

[CoffeeCat]

11. All Children's Happy Meals will include...

...a My Little Pony bullet-proof vest and a pair of Speed Racer night-vision goggles!

"Cuz when you're chomping on your cheeseburger--ya never know when the bullets and 500-pound bombs might hit!"


(Note: Obviously, the initial post is a joke. There's no way in hell a McDonald's--a symbol of American capitalism--would last more than a nanosecond in Baghdad. It would be more perilous to be the drive-thru guy at a McDonald's in Baghdad--then it would to a member of the Iraqi parliament).

[grateful581]

12. Freedom is on the March

[Ilsa]

13. Then their nutrition will be as bad as Americans'. :-( eom

[devilgrrl]

14. Those successes just keep piling up!

:sarcasm:

[MidwestTransplant]

15. Will it be in the Green Zone?

Hope so otherwise it will have a big bullseye on it.

[tridim]

16. If it is in the green zone

How are they planning on driving the big McDonald's supply truck there? Military escort?

[mcscajun]

17. The rest of the story...

The familiar McDonald's children's play area will also be "culturally aware of our new customers. Before kids can take off their shoes and pummel a brightly colored fiberglass head of Saddam Hussein, they first have to make it through McMineField. It teaches teamwork and coordination. But no harm if uncertain, little feet step on little mines. Each spring loaded mine catapults up at only 60lbs. p.s.i., just enough to toss the average 60 pound Freedom Fighter ten feet in the air. Not only will he live to fight another day, he'll also get a free Coke."

http://www.unconfirmedsources.com/?itemid=1405

[Corgigal]

18. and blown to hell

by fall 2006.

[Bucky]

New slogan... "Having a blast at McDonalds"

Back up slogan: "Suicide Bomber McNuggets: they're fresh!"

[undeterred]

20. I wonder if they'll bring back the sign with the number sold...

[liberalmarine06]

22. im sure they mean in the green zone

there are already many fast food restaurants in the green zone in baghdad, the soldiers and marines love them, its a little taste of fatty america in the midst of war. its great

[silverweb]

25. Uhmm... guys?

We have all read the boxed disclaimer on the front page of the source for this article, haven't we?

Unconfirmed Sources political satire and news story parodies as represented above are written as satire or parody. They are, of course, fictitious.

I am aware that the ultimate neocon goal is to corporatize Iraq, but this particular article is not real news.

[txindy]

26. ROFL! If only Wendy would've put on that burka, she would own that town!

The sad thing is, it's all so plausible with the idiots-in-charge.

[Quixote1818]

28. Working their would be suicide

You might as well put a gun to your head and shoot.

:nuke: