What if the CHURCH BURNINGS are spontaneous combustion?

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

Okay, I'm an atheist, but I also am a writer and have been taught to play "what if?"

What if there is a God and he's pissed at what the churches are doing today?

How Biblical can you get without a flood or fire from the sky?

[stepnw1f]

1. It Was That Darned "Burning Bush" Again!!!! (nt)

[DRoseDARs]

2. Personally, I'd prefer seeing spontenous turning-into-pillars-of-salt n/t

:thumbsup:

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

3. Yeah, that would be better. But who am I to 2nd question a creator of all

[DRoseDARs]

8. Floods & fires can be explained away; Instant saltation is clear in origin

Ah, longing for the days of a pro-active, vengeful God... :evilgrin:

[H2O Man]

4. Those who have read

the Southern Poverty Law Center's Intelligence Report, especially in 2005, know who the likely suspects are.

www.intelligenceproject.org

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

10. I'm hoping your wrong...

I would so love to believe (however naive) that these people have continued to slide into the ignorant abyss they perpetuated.

I actually believe (tin hat time) that it either politically motivated or just the plain stupidity of a few.

[H2O Man]

15. Arson is an

interesting crime. There are only about four main "groupings" that investigators need to look at. They are: {1} insurance seekers; {2} fire-bugs, who tend to be among the first three people "on the scene" (at times young firemen, always emotionally disturbed); {3} organized criminal types engaged in territorial disputes; and {4} somewhat related to #3, the hate gangs.

In these cases, and with the potential for one or two to not fit the cluster, groups 2 and 4 are what are being considered by authorities now.

[htuttle]

16. I'd agree

In fact, from what I heard from the first 'spree' of church arsons, it might be a single person.

I believe they suggested that the time between fires starting in the first incident was roughly the amount of time it would take to drive from one location to another. If it had been a gang of people, I'd expect simultaneous or more closely timed fires, unless it was a bunch of guys driving around drunk in a truck or something. I haven't heard if the timing was the same in this new set of incidents, however.

[JuniperLea]

5. Fun stuff!

There are all manner of biblical retribution! Pillars of salt, eye for an eye, flood, famine, pestilence (frogs falling from the sky, locust, etc.), earthquakes...

I know there are many more, but this Fundie gone Agnostic is finally loosing some of the details... yay!

[htuttle]

6. Gawd is punishing them for eating shrimp

Bite the Head
Pinch the Tail
Burn in Hell!

[karlrschneider]

14. Uh, isn't that the way to eat crawfish (crayfish for the PC folks)?

:D

[Dr.Phool]

7. Maybe it's those goat-starers a few posts up.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x352708

[jazzjunkysue]

9. Ok you're bad. Funny, and bad.

You just go on with your bad self. (snerk)

[doc03]

11. Maybe God is burning these Churches in the red states

because they voted for Bush and support an illegal war and a morally corrupt administration.

[TallahasseeGrannie]

12. But they weren't all white fundie churches

a number were African American churches. Seems to be an equal opportunity arson.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

13. That's why I think it's HIM....

Gots to be!

:evilgrin:

:hi:

[doc03]

17. Well Rev. Phelps would say it's

because the US supports homosexuals that God hates all Americans.

[jmowreader]

18. What if? That's not far-fetched...

The three most common causes of church fires, in this order, are:

1. Bad wiring, which could be considered "spontaneous combustion"
2. Incorrectly-applied APP modified bitumen roofing
3. Oil-soaked rags

Churches are full of woodwork. Woodwork needs routine maintenance if it's to look its best--if it's oiled, and a LOT of pulpits are, maintenance requires either tung or linseed oil. These oils are rubbed into the wood with a cloth. They're drying oils, which give off heat as they cure--enough heat to ignite a wadded-up rag. The rags always seem to catch fire in the middle of the night.

APP is short for Atactic Polypropylene. It is a polymer that when added to asphalt turns the bitumen into an elastomer--a synthetic rubber. Many people call this "rubber roofing." APP roofing is made by taking a piece of fiberglass and coating it, front and back, with APP-modified bitumen. The front is then coated with roofing granules before the product is cured, rolled and boxed. The product is applied by melting the back with a flamethrower and mashing it down onto your roof before it gets hard again. The number of ways you can burn your whole house down with this stuff cannot be counted by normal people.

I think we can all figure out bad wiring.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

19. Hmmmm... Is there room for logic in a Church burning?

[jmowreader]

24. You'd hope...

I don't have a link to it, but I remember a church fire we had in NC a few years ago. Our useless newspaper had all of these quotes from people who were convinced it was some white supremacist group, or maybe the liberals, who burned the church down.

About three-quarters of the way down in the article they pointed out that a parishioner was seen working on the roof with a torch the day before the fire. You guessed it: two weeks later the fire inspector published his finding that the fire started on the roof. Naturally, our halfass paper never mentioned that the church members burned their own building down. Wouldn't be prudent.

Hey guys! Anyone up for taking up a collection to make a love offering of 20 squares of APP roofing and five gallons of boiled linseed oil to Westboro Baptist Church? It's really cheap and the payoff could be enormous!

[BrotherBuzz]

20. My neighbor, the retired fire captain says only three things start fires..

Men, women, and children.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

21. Lightning, bad wiring, chemical combustion?

[BrotherBuzz]

22. People are suspect....

until the evidence proves otherwise.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

27. Yes, natural ocurance should be ignored until all evildoers are proven

innocent.

Okayyyyy.....

[BrotherBuzz]

28. Mother Nature causes only 5% of all fires

In urban areas, intentional or not, people overwhelmingly cause most fires. Firemen know this - Kids playing with matches. Careless people in kitchens. Stupid people competing for the Darwin Award. Evildoers?

[catnhatnh]

23. Jesus Christ Tom...

...If I didn't know you better I would worry...You and I know that this week or next they will all be tied to a few sick clowns...I love you guy but this is a slight off note for you...just sayin' that we are almost past humor here...

[GreenPartyVoter]

29. Depending on the flavor of some of those churches, they could have

been progressive. (Not all Baptists are Southern Baptists.) :(

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

31. I live in Alabama and, my god, we could lose 500 churches in a day and no

one would have to walk an extra two steps to get to another one.

It would be bigger news to me if five hotels or Magic Marts burned down. There are fewer of them that=n churches down herel.

[Ioo]

25. Maybe one of queers walked into them?

Would we be changed with arson?

[atommom]

26. Rev. Phelps was quoted today as saying that God will rain down

fire and brimstone and destroy the US in the next year. So maybe this is the first wave?

[GreenPartyVoter]

30. It won't be God. It'll be some nuke-armed country we've pissed off...

or on.