What IS a black funeral?

[bliss_eternal]

I am just going to take a wild stab in the dark that in the course of these people's lives, they've never experienced a black funeral. I am assuming they have not seen representations of New Orleans Jazz Funerals represented in some films. Ok.

It's blatantly obvious to me that they have NO understanding of the Christian, Baptist traditions-- the black, Southern, Christian Baptist traditions of simultaneously mourning and celebrating a life. There is moaning and wailing, crying and sighing. But there is also laughter between the tears, singing of psalms and negro spirituals. There are tears of loss and sorrow, but also tears of joy of a life lived with passion.

Those from these traditions 'testify' when they share or eulogize those that have passed on. To testify in this sense is to share one's personal recollections and experiences of those that have passed on, and about ways they have touched your life. It's a black church thing.

What I saw yesterday was a culmination of so many black traditions, brought together under one roof and culminating in one, large, loving, joyous event. It's normal to see so many different things on one stage/pulpit. This is the black tradition at it's finest--there is music, there are stories to share, singing and sometimes it all happens simultaneously from one person! :) But that is the beauty of this culture. Something that the ugliness of the rw can not destroy. It didn't destroy black before civil rights and it isn't going to bring anyone down now.

I enjoyed what I experienced yesterday! I was thrilled to see so many here enjoy it and be touched by it! So many on DU looked and loved it and thought it was...beautiful.

The ignorant things some have shared today that rw pundits are saying are just...well, ethnocentric and ignorant.

There are many cultural funerals I've never attended personally or experienced. I would never dare to attack or criticize that which I don't know or understand. I would take the time to try to learn more about someone else.

Why criticize that which one has not taken the time to understand? Because they have no interest in understanding--they merely seek to mock that which is obviously more powerful than they are.

There was power on that screen yesterday... I know it and they know it, too. There was beauty, majesty,grace AND TRUTH. Maybe we should have brought them all sunglasses to watch with, apparently the magnificence has blinded them all! ;)

[stop the bleeding]

1. A place where no political or personal statements are allowed

[Bluzmann57]

2. Several years ago a dear friend of mine passed on

He was black and a group of us from our workplace went to his funeral. It was a much different experience than a "typical" white person's funeral. This man was a kind and gentle man who gave of himself and all that was mentioned. His sister came in from New York and she wailed loudly, which is rare at "our" funerals. There was singing and dancing as well. All in all, it was quite interesting and a fitting way to celebrate the man's life and mourn his passing as well. Nothing at all disrespectful there. So screw the corporate media and their racist version of how a funeral should be.

[bliss_eternal]

4. Yes--there is a difference.

A friend shared with me that his mom attended a white friend's funeral, and his mom considered her a good friend. So for her, a good friend had passed and she was upset--and showed it. They were taken aback by the fact that his mother showed her emotions so openly. They barely cried, but that was THEIR way of mourning. For my friend's mom, she needed to let it rip! LOL! And she did...LOL! LOL! She cried, wailed and carried on a good while. LOL! But it's all in love.

The family was not comfortable with her feelings or behaviour, but oh well. We can't all be the same. ;)

[malaise]

21. Yep people have a good time at

black funerals. We laugh, we cry and anything that is to be said is said. They are seen as the final celebration of the deceased's life and the family make all the rules unless it's official.

Politicians show up at their peril at unofficial funerals if there was 'bad blood' with the deceased. I remember the prominent leader of a political party here in Jamaica (a former Prime Minister) showing up at the funeral of a once senior member of the same party. Well the wife and kids arranged the ceremony and reserved some seats for selected dignitaries. During his political career, the deceased had an ugly fall out with the party leader. Well the leader waltzed in and headed for the reserved section and this very gentile widow and one of her daughters walked across the church and told him it was not reserved for him and he'd better not sit there. He walked out of the church and there was much laughter among family and close friends.

People still laugh at that classic put down and to this day the family are convinced that their dad was delighted.
Edit - gr.

[bliss_eternal]

23. I bet the deceased was tickled by that!

Great story--made me laugh!

:hi: I enjoyed watching with you yesterday, malaise!

[malaise]

25. Well we sure laughed

It was fall down funny and yep I enjoyed watching with you too:D

[Judi Lynn]

3. The right-wing Bush slaves are burned but good because he was stuck

in a place where no one could stand between him and the truth. They want to strike back. They want revenge. They want to be able to slaughter, torture, steal, cheat endlessly without having to face up to it.

Moral Majority, you know!

[bliss_eternal]

6. Had he not gone for his photo opportunity,

he may have been spared the natural repurcussions of hearing the truth--when it isn't filtered by his thugs.
His bad. :evilgrin:

[Pathwalker]

5. Your fourth paragraph describes Maya Angelou's tribute

perfectly; she sang,she spoke in mucis, she told marvelous stories I feel privileged to know. It was a funeral befitting the majestic grace that was Coretta Scott King. I feel God took back one of his greatest angels; heaven is brighter, but our world is dimmed without her shining presence. :cry:

[bliss_eternal]

11. Yes, Maya

was raised with these traditions. She gave us ALL a great gift, in that she shared, from her heart and spirit her most intimate feelings about 'her sister'...'her girl.' There was a brief moment that she said she chose not to share something because "we're in mixed company" LOL. But for the most part, she gave everyone in that room, through the airwaves, etc her whole heart and feelings for Coretta.

I felt like I was with my people from New Orleans yesterday--like we 'did church.' LOL! I hollered a few times here in my livingroom, "say it sister...speak," as I've heard elder women say in church since I was small. But my personal experience with it makes it feel natural and secondhand for me. I can see how others, unfamiliar with the culture and tradition may not understand to a degree...

I was blown away that so many on DU described what they saw as so moving, so beautiful. We all have SO much that can benefit each other if we are open to it. :hug:

The right--ugh--totally closed off.

[lostnfound]

61. I felt privileged and underprivileged, in a sense

Privileged to be able to hear those stories. Very moving tribute.

But also some small sense of envy. I envy them the depth at which their lives are lived, even though I realize it is at a price of terrible suffering.

There was a wholeness there, and I honor them for it.

[bliss_eternal]

70. lostnfound--

I appreciate your sharing this! :hi:

[lostnfound]

71. what you had written moved me to comment on it also

Such remarkable, beautiful people.

[Spazito]

7. Given their outrage at Mrs. King's service, I would recommend

they stay far away from an Irish wake, as well, given their 'sensitivity' and narrow view of what is 'appropriate'.

[JHB]

9. Rest assured, given what usually flows at Irish wakes (other than tears)..

*' keepers would keep him far away from any uncontrolled public appearances.

[Spazito]

10. LOL and too true! n/t

[bliss_eternal]

13. My husband is Irish--I WISH they did this!

LOL! Please tell me more...

He just shared with me that from what he knows they can get rather wild, but hasn't experienced one personally.

His extended family had one of the driest funerals I've ever attended...barely any tears. Definetly no moaning of wailing. LOL!

[JHB]

15. Not all Irish have "Irish Wakes"...

...and there's no actual requirement that those that do be Irish...

But it's another "send them off with a party, and telling tales about the good times" tradition.

[bliss_eternal]

18. Sounds like a great send-off--

:thumbsup: for great lives! I'd pay to see this--I love seeing how various cultures celebrate their loved ones passing on.

[JHB]

27. Old joke:What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?

One less drunk at the wake. :toast:

[bliss_eternal]

33. LOL! LOL! LOL!

Good one-- :party:

[Spazito]

24. An Irish wake is a beauty to behold, imo

There is as much or more laughter than tears, wonderful stories about the loved one being remembered, there is also, traditionally, more than a little amount of libations to be found which often loosens the tongues of the story-tellers even more.

It is a pure celebration of the loved one's life with all their loves, beliefs and, yes, even their flaws out in full view.


Edited to add: I can't believe I forgot to add there is much music, much singing along with the laughter and the tears.

[bliss_eternal]

34. It sounds beautiful!

Sounds like their are several commonalities between Irish funeral culture and black American funeral culture...that's so cool! :hi:

[Pacifist Patriot]

62. I've got a good old-fashioned Irish wake stipulated in my will.

I've only been to one. It was pretty much a combination of calling hours and pub crawl. You never knew if you were going to be howling with laughter the next minute or bawling your eyes out. It was a great send off!

[bliss_eternal]

75. I don't mean to sound disrespectful

but it sounds like such a blast! What a way to go! :party: :toast: :cry: :bounce:
:hi:

[Pacifist Patriot]

79. There's nothing disrespectful about that.

If people can't celebrate my life than I haven't lived it properly. Party on!

[Carni]

29. I was going to say... basically it's like an Irish wake sans booze

Beats standing around whispering in some funeral home IMO

[bliss_eternal]

31. LMAO!

:rofl:

[gratuitous]

8. What is a black funeral? I sure don't know

But if I were looking for an answer, I don't think I'd be going to overrich spoiled white boys on the teevee and the radio to clue me in.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

12. Amateurs, amateurs, all of them

They're all flash, all those other funerals.

What you want in a REAL funeral is some show of grief that can't be topped.

That is why my Italian family rules in our old parish.

They're jumpers.

Well, just the women, and, honestly, as they get older, they just don't have the legs for the climb back up out of the grave.

But, let no one be mistaken, we are the ones who truly love our deceased. We love them so much, we leap onto the coffin as it is lowered into the grave.

And none of our family communists take communion or sing along with the hymns. They all steel their jaws and then bear an eerie resemblance to Benito Mussolini. Especially my aunts. Especially one aunt in particular, but it could also be her bald head.

[bliss_eternal]

16. OMG! I LOVE it--that sounds like some funeral!

LOL! You've topped them ALL! :rofl:

THAT my friend, is love! I honestly thought when they did that scene in Married to the Mob (did you see it), where Alec Baldwin's mother says, "No--Frankie, I'm goin' with YOU!" and dives into the grave was just a joke.

I haven't experienced it personally, but I've heard stories of black women that clung to the coffin before it was taken out, and threatened jumping in, heard of a few jumpers, never seen for myself so I can't attest to whether that is authentic. LOL!

[malaise]

26. You must be West Indian

:rofl: :rofl:

[bliss_eternal]

30. Stop--do they do that, too?!?

:rofl:

[malaise]

36. Oh yes

particularly rural people. Some of these scenes can be unbelievably emotional but they hardly shock the'sensibilities' of those who prefer some element of control. You might hear a 'Damn that was some display of grief' from the city folk but it's all good. Who cares about 'reserved behaviour' on those occasions. Afterall as OldLeftieLawyer pointed out, this is about love for the dear departed:rofl: :rofl:

Edit - correction

[bliss_eternal]

45. I've heard that--

after some funerals, too. Something to the effect of, "ooooh, so and so...Umph...that chile was too through! She carried on a good little while, didn't she? Lord!" But it's with love...

:rofl:

Then they go to someone's house and eat, laugh, cry more and reminisce.

[malaise]

53. And most importantly

they go to someone's house to drink, chat, look at the old photo albums and discover some juicy gossip about some period in the life of the dear departed:rofl: :rofl:

[OldLeftieLawyer]

40. Oh, dear.....

Italian, as I said.

The cries of grief, shouted out as the leaper takes flight, are always screamed out in the native tongue.

[malaise]

42. I know

but West Indians also jump into graves:rofl: :rofl:

[bliss_eternal]

44. ROFL--

:rofl: I saw it. I saw the whole thing, and heard something being yelled in another language! OMG! Man, that's love, right?

:rofl:

[TallahasseeGrannie]

14. I've been to a number of funerals

in Primative Baptist churches (which in my area are black) and there are some difference, mostly in format. My church has a rather set series of rituals they go through and they follow a prayer book. Usually one eulogy, maybe one main one by the priest which emphasizes salvation and then a couple of friends or family will deliver a homily, a poem. But mostly the funeral takes about an hour to an hour and a half, depending upon whether or not there is communion. Lots of tears, of course, usually lots of laughter, lots of prayer and lots of music.

The PB services I have attended all had open caskets, first, which is different than I am used to. And the main part of the service has been short homilies by many, many friends and family members. They last about three times as long as "our" funerals. Same crying, same laughing. Lots of emphasis on salvation and one addition: a strong emphasis on the congregation finding salvation perhaps because of the death of the person.

There is a bit more episodes of people being overcome by grief in the PB churches and I think that is a function of the fact that most of them have no AC. There are fanners that will come and fan an obviously overcome individual.

The most recent PB funeral I attended also featured a "commercial" from the funeral home which REALLY horrified the daughter of the deceased (my close friend) and she let them know about it later. It think it was a new marketing technique they were trying out. I thought it was rather enterprising.

There is also a big difference here between black funeral homes and white ones, and there is virtually absolutely no mixing. I don't think the white funeral homes refuse blacks by any means, but the use of the black funeral homes is very, very traditional in the black community. The white funeral homes usually have two to three living room-type viewing areas and three different viewings going on at once. The black homes I have visited have small alcoves for each casket, and there are about six on each side of a long room. It seems to make the viewing more of a community event that the more private viewings in the other facilities. They can have as many as 12 or more bodies on view at once. All black funerals are on Saturday morning here.

And that's all I know about it.

[bliss_eternal]

17. Ah the fanners--

I think they are a staple to Baptist churches, don't you? Gotta' love the fanners! I've seen them also fan someone when they 'get the spirit.'

What an informative post--thanks, Grannie! :hi:

[yardwork]

56. I have been to some black viewings where I was the only Anglo there

The viewings I attended were quiet. The rooms were almost dark, with the light on the open casket. Each person made their way to the casket and quietly paid their respects in view of everyone else in the room. Then they returned to their seats and prayed or cried or sang quietly. People would sit for hours like this. When they needed a break, they would go to more brightly lit rooms or outside, where they could talk, laugh, or cry freely.

The funerals themselves are very different.

The right-wing shills had no business criticizing Coretta Scott King's funeral. No business at all. They should be ashamed of themselves.

[bliss_eternal]

57. They should be, but we know they won't...

you bring up a great point, yardwork. While what I described is *my* personal experience with black funerals, it's unfair to categorize it as 'typical.'

Every individual family has their own way of grieving, mourning and having a funeral.

You're right. The RW has no right or place criticizing Coretta Scott King's funeral. Too bad they don't see this...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences with us! :hi:

[yardwork]

58. Thank you for starting this wonderful thread!

:hi:

[mandyky]

19. I always think of the jazz funeral scene in Live and Let Die

when I think of Black funerals! LOL

[bliss_eternal]

28. I've got to rent that movie--

I think there's a Jazz Funeral in The Big Easy. Oh and there's one in Double Jeopardy with Ashley Judd. Maybe one in Pelican Brief--not sure, maybe they just ran around through mardi gras festivities.

[mandyky]

37. Yeah, Pelican Brief was the Mardi Gras

run through, not a funeral. Pelican Brief is one of my favorite movies - Denzel and Julia - excellente!

[bliss_eternal]

49. Yes, a very cool movie!

Thanks for the correction! :hi:

[pocket]

20. Black Funeral:

http://www.metal-observer.com/articles.php?lid=1&sid=1&id=3107

[bliss_eternal]

22. Is it a good album?

:hi:

[pocket]

59. I don't even know

I just remembered that it existed :D

[Chovexani]

32. Thank you for this thread

My mom and I watched the replay and it was just a beautiful service. It truly was a "homegoing" as they say. We also laughed about how clueless white media pundits were going to spin it afterward. Sad how so many are culturally tone deaf to other people's traditions.

BTW, that is the real reason black folks love Clinton so much even if some of us disagree with some of his policies. He gets it, in a way that is genuine and real. We can smell a phony from a mile away.

I loved that service, as well as the one for Rosa Parks. I almost felt like I was back in church with those fans from the funeral home! :rofl:

[bliss_eternal]

50. No, thank YOU

for sharing and bringing a smile to my face! :hi:

Those funeral home fans--omg! :rofl:

When Maya spoke, I wished I had one or one of those handkerchiefs the elder women of the church would toss around in the air while yelling, "preach!" She was SO wonderful! Loved when she shared about 'girl' and said, "it's a black thing."

[sweetheart]

35. it is when we bury equal rights

when we finally bury equal rights,
a black funeral will have we,
That future generations will take flight,
hard ground won in civil emnity,
Then we will but intern human rights,
in ground poisoned by the GOP,
So when they hold "black funeral",
don't attend, ignore the plea,
The real purpose is to craftly cull,
any trace of why live we,
And with all our progressive fire and spit can we hold instead,
Coronation of the kingly little shit,
texas tex with 'is empty little head.
Would he watch his little crown,
for the fear that it fall down.

[bliss_eternal]

51. sweetheart--

This is so lovely--thank you SO much for sharing! Truly beautiful... :hug:

[AspenRose]

38. The RW comments are by design

to make black people look as uncivilized as possible.

Dehumanizing black people in this country is how they keep their racist base from sympathizing with the plight of those different from them.

[bliss_eternal]

48. YES! You nailed it!

It's all part of their big spin machine! It pisses them off because they had NO control over yesterday's events. Rove couldn't 'call ahead' and ensure that * was given his 'proper respect.'

:hi: It was good to have you with us yesterday watching, DesertedRose. Good times!

[Jeanette in FL]

52. Exactly, just like what they did during Katrina

By withholding help and aid to a devestated area, people were desperate and desperate people will do anything to survive. And then they can say "Look at those people, they are acting like animals" and their base all nod in agreement.

When Kayne West made the remark "George Bush doesn't like black people" I agreed but wanted to add, he don't like most of us white people either. I know most of us wouldn't last ten minutes with a group like George and his ilk.

I put Michael Savage on the radio when I went to bed last night just to hear what he and his base were saying. Savage said that the Bush family should not have gone to the funeral, that they knew that they were going into hostile territory. He thought that the King family should be ashamed of themselves for allowing that to happen. I was laughing the whole time listening to him. Then he says "I don't understand the African American community, they always have to go over the top". I shut him off and said to myself, that is right you don't understand. He wouldn't understand my family either, thank goodness.

[bliss_eternal]

55. People like that--

don't understand love, affection, passion, creative expression...I could go on and on. Over the top to him was a display of affection he's never been privy to and probably never will.

You're so right, Jeannette george bush doesn't like many people. He said it loud in clear in F/911 his base are the uber-wealthy. He could give less than half of a damn about anyone beyond that. My heart ached for the Katrina victim. So many of us spoke of the blacks, because of course the media wanted us to see them, but I thought often of the impoverished southern whites, some of which probably voted for him. They must have felt incredibly betrayed...

[mikelewis]

39. Kicked and Nominated...

Excellent Post and I agree with you 100%, it was truly magnificent. Martin and Coretta must have enjoyed it immensely.

[bliss_eternal]

46. Thank you, mike...

I know in my heart they did enjoy it. I was so pleased that flags were flown at half staff in her honor yesterday as well.

[Jeanette in FL]

41. Coming from an Italian-Irish family

We too, have pretty wild funeral/wakes. The mood goes between extreme grief to extreme laughter and every emotion in between. I have seen the wailing, the fighting, the drinking, the praise beyond recognition (who are they talking about,)the anger, the guilt, the happy days, the sad days. I don't think that there is a lot of differences between all of us.

I too enjoyed being with all of you yesterday and I found that the service and funeral was beautiful. I cried, I laughed, I hollered, I moaned, I really felt as if I was with family. Thank you all for sharing your stories. Wonderful to read.

[bliss_eternal]

43. Hey Jeanette!

:hi: Good to see you! So glad to hear that you enjoyed sharing with all of us yesterday. You were with family--your DU family, and the civil rights family Coretta and Martin created. :grouphug:

I LOVE cultures that are expressive of feelings--it's honest and real. Sounds like your funerals/wakes are also something to behold. It's just passion and love to me. The more someone was loved and cared for, the bigger the display of emotion. It's not undignified--just truth.

I don't know about your Italian-Irish family, but my family also did much bonding in the kitchen over food! ;) Also a cultural thing. That's how I sometimes show love, I cook for people...

[Jeanette in FL]

47. Oh yes, the Kitchen

The best room in my home. Everyone always gravitates to the kitchen and I love to cook. For friends, for family, for everyone.

When my son was little he used to always hang in the kitchen with the women folk because he said that is where all the good stories were. The men would always talk about the good ole days and the women were dishing it out about everything that was going on right here and now. We still do the same.

I had a wonderful experience yesterday and was so glad to be a part of it.

We will never let it die, what Martin and Coretta gave us as gifts as human beings. We all have so much more in common than differences. Thank you, all.

[jbnow]

64. Your Italian-Irish family reminds me

of when my son married recently. My 95 year old Italian grandmother who'd been ailing for years passed away in the week before it. Her kids decided to have the funeral that weekend, since people already had flight arrangements for the wedding.

She was well loved, but had wanted to "go home" after a well lived life. I'd have been almost glad for her but...
My son was a pallbearer in the morning and a groom in the evening. It broke his heart, thus mine.
The bride to be had been so wedding focused, needing everything perfect...until this happened. She hadn't gotten a chance to meet grandma, they lived across the country. My son was worried about her too and told her to stay home. But this beautiful lady in black came into the church and sat in the empty row behind the pallbearers. I didn't see her until my son looked back and his eyes lit up and he moved to sit beside her. She held him and his face looked like a baby given a pacifier, such relief. Still crying but her love was such consolation.

Outside of the church he was thanking her and she brushed it off, where else would she be? He told her he felt bad she started her wedding day that way. She told him not to worry, he was what mattered and that she's Irish, he's Italian. If there wasn't drama it could never work.

God I love her.

They went to her old home village in Italy for part of the honeymoon. They were meeting those relatives for the first time and as they explained (in halting Italian) and would offer a holy card from the mass. They would wail, cry out in Italian, kneel and kiss the card.

We don't do that here.

The wedding and reception...were all the richer. The love was so deep it suffused the room and every heart. And grandma got her way, she got to be at the wedding. We all felt her there.

[bliss_eternal]

54. Poppy bush's comments were very telling...

when he said as an Episcopalian, he'd never seen anything quite like that before. I've attended Episcopal services--pretty standard and conservative. Now and African Methodist Episcopalian service, whole other ball game! LOL!

While his comments could be conveyed negatively, I see it as him sincerely never having the exposure (or wanting it...lol) and not really understanding what was going on...

[TallahasseeGrannie]

60. Yes, he was being very sincere..

but you know, it's kind of sad that with his 8 years as VP and four as Prez. he never got himself to a black funeral.

[mzmolly]

63. I don't think they understand "passion" frankly. Wellstone wasn't black

they criticized Democrats for wanting to win an election for a passionate elected official and talking about that at the memorial?

[malmapus]

65. Maybe what Georgie heard was "black-tie"

So of course thought it was another dinner with his base, "the haves and have mores."

:shrug:

[morningglory]

66. Like a Catholic wedding, it goes on and on and on......

[bliss_eternal]

67. I've always thought

full mass catholic weddings were particularly cruel to wedding guests. They're never ending.They can be beautiful and touching, but you can always tell the poor guests are SO ready for it to be OVER. lol.

[morningglory]

69. I was raised as a Baptist and attended many I-do!-eat-cake-throw-rice-run

weddings. No dancing, no drinking. My first Catholic wedding: up, down, up, down, up, down. I had known my friends were getting married for months, so I had rooted a huge ficus tree in a heavy pot and took it to the wedding in the back of my pickup truck. Left my husband with the kids, as he did not know my work friends. The whole time (up, down, up) I worried what in the heck I was going to do to get that big tree to the couple. At one point the priest who had a thick Irish brogue summoned the parents to bring "gifts" to the alter (wine, incense, myrrh, something symbolic like that). In my confused, exhausted stupor, not understanding what was going on, I thought he was telling everyone to bring their wedding gifts to the alter. PANIC!! Then off to a restaurant to start the drinking and dancing. I left waaaay before they cut cake, and my husband was just about to call the police to issue a missing person notice.

[bliss_eternal]

74. morningglory--

You're so funny!

Quote:
Baptist--I-do!-eat-cake-throw-rice-run

Catholic wedding--up, down, up, down, up, down

:rofl: The perfect descriptions! :rofl:

[qanda]

68. Truly

It is difficult to describe to people who have no knowledge of black culture what a "Homegoing Service" is all about. It's not rare to see someone trying to jump in the casket or passing out with grief, but those displays of heartache somehow transition into laughter and rejoicing, preaching and shouting. You never know what's going to happen, but you know to set aside the entire day and regardless of how much you are grieving you leave the service filled with hope.

[Bridget Burke]

72. When Bush Jr's little sister died of leukemia....

His parents donated her body to science & went golfing.

Then they returned to Texas--to a son who hadn't realized his sister was so sick.

Repress, repress....

[bliss_eternal]

73. OMG--Are you serious?!

I've never heard this before. If this is true...wow. Just wow. :wow:

[bobbieinok]

77. I heard they went golfing the day of her death.....not the rest

I've read some think many of W's problems of relating to people come from how the illness and death of his sister was (not) handled by his parents

[bliss_eternal]

78. I'm blown away by this--

probably one of the coldest, most bizarre things I've ever heard. Sure, everyone mourns in their own way, but that sounds like there are some other issues...major ones. Whoa...

Thanks for sharing the information. This is news to me. :hi:

[lies and propaganda]

76. similar to how Catholics bury their dead

I remember drinking and laughing; a celebration of life.