Teacher In Trouble - students ask sex questions, she answers

[The Straight Story]

Teacher In Trouble
Feb 9, 2006, 06:01 PM

Reported by Penny Moore

A teacher is accused of taking a lesson in reproduction for sixth graders too far.

The teacher is Candy Stai, and she's been in this district for more than 25 years, but two days ago, she got a letter telling her to turn in her keys and stay home while the district investigates her behavior.

Stai is a sixth grade science teacher at Amanda Clearcreek. Parents say she was teaching heredity and told the kids they could ask any questions about sex they wanted to.

They wrote them down and she would answer them fully. A parent said the answers were extremely graphic and complaints poured into the principals office.

"Some of the questions were oral sex; how homosexual men have sex; what is a lesbian. My daughter is 12-years-old, she doesn't need to know how to give a man oral sex at 12-year- old," says one parent, who did not wish to be identified.

http://www.10tv.com/Global/story.asp?S=4481146

[FreedomAngel82]

1. They'll learn about it someday

I remember when I was in the fourth grade there was this kid at the lunch table (we had assign tables :shrug: ) and this kid would tell the most filthiest jokes dealing with sex. Don't twelve year olds watch PG-13 and sometimes "R" movies?

[myrna minx]

53. It's better for them to learn it in the locker room

instead of learning from a science teacher. :sarcasm:

[Nabia2004]

61. Right: in 6th we were reading "The Autobiography of a Flea"

This was in 1966, and the sexually explicit paperback book was being passed back and forth between everyone, girls and boys.

[mrcheerful]

2. Leave it to the clueless and brain dead to think ignoring will

work. If a young person asks questions its either because they heard about it, saw it or tried it. Facts of life, there are no hidden secrets when you have kids, they see and find their way into everything you try to hide.

[FreedomAngel82]

28. I remember a couple of years ago

on MSNBC they had some story about young people (junior high and high school) who would have these parties and get drunk and do oral sex. They didn't even think oral sex was real sex! :eyes: This isn't doing any of them any good by not answering their question's and letting them just be ignorant. Ignorant isn't always bliss.

[LisaL]

31. People do blame Clinton for that one.

[zbdent]

39. But it's on record that Clinton was using

Newt's "tried and true" defense . . .

[leftchick]

40. 5 sixth garders pregnant at our local public school last year

perhaps they should be teaching this in fifth grade?

[LisaL]

42. Is there a correlation between teaching them and them not

getting pregnant?

[leftchick]

43. is that a rhetorical question?

:shrug:

[LisaL]

44. No.

Not a single girl got pregnant in my school, and we had no sex education classes.

[leftchick]

45. here are some facts....

<snip>

Myth 2: Sex education encourages youth to become sexually active sooner than they otherwise would have.
The Facts: Sex education does not encourage youth to become sexually active. Analyses by leading national and international organizations—including the American Medical Association, Institute of Medicine, Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS), and World Health Organization, among others—found that comprehensive sex education programs do not encourage students to begin having sex. In fact, research shows that effective sex education programs help youth to delay the initiation of sex.<3,9,10,11,12,13>

Myth 3: Teaching students about contraception and condoms encourages sexual activity and increases the chance that teens will experience pregnancy.
The Facts: Teaching students about contraception and condoms does not encourage sexual activity. Instead, it increases young people's use of contraception and condoms when they do begin having sex.<3,10,11,13> Research shows that youth who use condoms at first sex are more than twice as likely to use condoms at most recent sex than are youth who did not use condoms at first sex.<14> Several effective programs have both increased youth's use of contraception and condoms and also reduced youth's frequency of sex, number of sex partners, and/or incidence of unprotected sex.<13>

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/PUBLICATIONS/iag/mythsfacts.htm

[WinkyDink]

3. "some day" ought not to be in a classroom of a different subject.

Teach sounds like a perv to me, offering explicitness for her own jollies.

[LisaL]

4. I don't think this teacher should take it upon herself either, without

the school's or parents approval.

[bliss_eternal]

7. I do agree that there should be parental approval

:) when there is such a discussion. I recall that parental permission was required for 'hygiene' when I was in school.

I just don't know if what she did warrants what they are doing to her.

[FreedomAngel82]

30. So what's next? Approval of sex education?

[bliss_eternal]

54. As far as I know--

and I could be wrong, there's always been approval required for sex ed. At least it was when I was in school. Given how long ago that seems, things may have changed...a lot. LOL!

Before we got our 'sex ed' lecture, which at the time was relegated to discussing female hygiene and the mestrual cycle,...(yes--really sad), we had to get parental approval slips signed. This was in CA, btw--allegedly a liberal state.

When I was volunteering with a family planning group that spoke in schools to jr. and senior high classes, if a student's parent(s) didn't not want them to participate, they were sent out of the room for our discussion. This was a few years ago, so again things may have changed. With all the cuts to education, most schools aren't including such things...

Sex ed is not part of the curriculum as far as I know, as such--parents had to be notified of the subject matter and if they did not want their kids to participate they did not.

I don't have kids, so maybe someone can weigh in on if this is still the case or not. :hi:

This isn't about my ideas, or what I 'personally' believe in regards to sex ed. I'm saying that if permission to have such talks is required in this particular school/district(as I've recalled it being in the past), then the teacher probably should have secured it prior to having this talk.

We're living in difficult times, why put her livelihood in jeopardy?

[pop goes the weasel]

18. you don't know that she was explicit

The news article says her answers were "graphic," but gives no example of what is meant by "graphic." People have different notions of what "graphic" is. Maybe she was actually quite pedantic. There's not enough in the article to know.

[FreedomAngel82]

29. She's answering question's from the students

Do you want them to learn it from porn or experience (and some of them without protection)? Lots of kids don't learn sex from their parents (I didn't but I had sex-ed).

[LisaL]

38. And her answers somehow would prevent them

from learning it from experience? LOL.
What, she single handedly going to stop spread of STDs by giving them answers?
Or stop them from watching porn?

[SPKrazy]

70. I Watched The Video

and she is alleged to have given "graphic" details on oral sex and men having sex with men.

The woman in the video said: "my daughter is 12 years old, she doesn't need to learn how to give oral sex to a man"

[Serenades]

5. Can this be for real?

I don't believe there are kids that are teenagers that don't know what oral sex is -- I really don't. I could see it at 10 years old or younger but in junior high everyone talked about BJs all the time, guys had their hands in girls pants and vice versa, people listened to graphic music and watched stuff on TV. I was 12 about 16 years ago, so I think things would have gotten more explicit now.

[LisaL]

9. It must depend on where the school is.

[depakid]

26. Central Ohio

Same state that tried to prosecute art museum curators for showing a Robert Maplethorpe exhibition.

Need anyone say more

[mtnester]

41. Rural Ohio - some info on this school system

The Amanda School system is mostly a farming community, with THE LARGEST foster child population of any school district in Fairfield County. Why? Farm labor.

I have lived in this county for a LONG time, and that is the sad fact. Many children in this school district (mostly white, mostly Republican) are foster kids that "help out" in the fields.

This is a very, very rural district even though they are growing quickly due to cheap land and development. The drive to Columbus is reassonable (40-45 minutes with good traffic), but, if the weather is bad, look out. Lots of gravel roads, etc.

[depakid]

66. That is really sad

I had no idea about the amount of foster children. Why on earth would people like that vote for a party that consistently abuses them and does its best to keep them poor?

[Yupster]

60. I had no idea what oral sex was

when I was in junior high, but teachers today tell me they make regular rounds of the bathrooms because it is routine to find girls in the boys bathroom giving free bj's. They also have the same problems on the school buses.

Times sure have changed. In many ways not for the better.

[bliss_eternal]

6. Why are they faulting the teacher

for answering questions from her students? They wouldn't have asked the teacher at all, if they felt they could ask their parents such questions.

Shielding kids from such information doesn't make them any less curious about the subject matter. Would they rather they go on-line, asking other kids in some chat room, only to be preyed on by some pedophile, pretending to be a kid?

Are they protecting their children or sparing themselves embarassment?

[Greyhound]

8. This could be fun. n/t

[sandnsea]

10. If it wasn't parent approved sex ed

It says it was science class. If it wasn't sex ed, then she had no business answering these questions, let alone having the kids submit the questions. I really don't know what it is about respecting parents that some teachers seem to have such a hard time with.

[Katherine Brengle]

11. of course, it's definitely better to wait until your 13 yr old gets

syphilis from "learning about oral sex" at a birthday party...

Give me a fucking break--better educated and safe than ignorant and dangerous.

[LisaL]

12. Safe? How is knowing about oral sex going to prevent a 13

year old from getting syphilis at a birthday party? The article says nothing about the teacher telling them to be safe.

[Viva_La_Revolution]

20. it gives no details at all...

we don't know what she told them, other than it was "graphic" (according to some).

[immoderate]

13. I feel for this teacher.

Years ago, I did something like this. "Ask me anything." "Anything?" "Yes, anything, as long as it doesn't insult anybody."

I dodged a bullet. Didn't get in trouble. When sex questions came up, I tried as much as possible to sound like a medical text book. Freaks me when I think about it now.

--IMM

[Mythsaje]

14. Probably ill-advised

though I believe that by hiding things, those who wouldn't answer the questions only manage to increase the kids' curiosity and make it more likely they'll go seeking their own answers in the wrong places and in the wrong ways.

edited to fix errors

[LisaL]

27. How do you know she gave them answers in a "right way"?

The article says she gave the answers in graphic details. Why do you assume they were in a "right way", and whatever the kids could find out on their own would be the "wrong way"?

[FreedomAngel82]

32. And how do you know they were "graphic"?

What's "graphic" to someone else isn't to another person. It could've been nothing for all we know. Only the teacher and students know. And as someone else said it's from Ohio. What do you think?

[LisaL]

36. The article says it was graphic.

Obviously enough to get the parents to freak out.

[CoffeeCat]

15. I want my children to be educated about sex and health issues...

However, this teacher was completely wrong.

Most schools have sex education within a health class, and they let the parents know when it is happening. They communicate with parents about what will be covered and they allow parents to remove their children from the class on those days. I wouldn't choose that option. I want my children to have a healthy attitude about their bodies, and I want them to be knowledgeable.

However, this teacher solicited these children to ask sex questions--when she had no business doing so.

She was teaching heredity/genetics within a science class. Why would she need to discuss blow jobs and chlamydia in conjunction wtih heredity? It really makes no sense.

If I was a parent, I would be pissed.

If we want to teach our children to be responsible and open about sex--the information needs to come from responsible teachers who are assigned to teach these topics. I don't think its in the best interest of any child/preteen---to learn about sex from a misguided, irresponsible teacher who--without the knowledge of the school or parents--decides to hold an impromptu sex Q & A.

She's irresponsible and reckless, and I'd rather my child learn about sex from their parents or from teachers who have better judgement. I would trust this teacher to dispense intelligent or accurate information, either.

[phylny]

25. "There are some questions that I'm just not allowed to answer in

public school. If you feel comfortable, you should ask your parents this kind of question."

That would have taken care of it.

I remember being in a sixth-grade health class to help a student of mine and the teacher told me beforehand that there were things she could teach, and things she was not permitted to teach that were covered in later grades.

In other words, the kids learned about ejaculation, but not orgasms. I was surprised, but not shocked, and conducted myself accordingly. Meaning I just shut up so I wouldn't get into trouble ;)

[FreedomAngel82]

33. How do you know what she said though?

How do you know she was irresponsible? How do you know she was reckless? Please, show from the article how she was these things. I love how you're jumping on her WITHOUT KNOWING what she said.

[bliss_eternal]

55. TwoSparkles--

thanks for this--

Quote:

Most schools have sex education within a health class, and they let the parents know when it is happening. They communicate with parents about what will be covered and they allow parents to remove their children from the class on those days. I wouldn't choose that option. I want my children to have a healthy attitude about their bodies, and I want them to be knowledgeable.

See my post#54:
I wasn't sure if this was still done or not as I don't have kids. Thanks for mentioning this. It was my experience in school, and I figured this was still the norm, but wasn't certain.

In my high-school health class, I seem to recall the option was offered to parents. I don't recall anyone opting out, though.

Take care!
bliss_e. :hi:

[pop goes the weasel]

16. too bad so many parents are prudes

The kids asked the questions. The teacher answered. Now, it would have been better if the kids had been invited to submit questions, and she had sent notes home telling the parents that she would answer the submitted questions for any student who had permission. Then the children of the uptight parents could have learned the old-fashioned way, through their better-informed friends.

[FreedomAngel82]

34. So are the parents going to dictate science class next?

[pop goes the weasel]

49. looks that way

I think the parents are probably over-reacting and are mostly upset because they are now in the position of having to answer further questions from their children.

[kath]

17. Came across this at the bookstore last evening:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0816640068/002-8195606-7375229?v=glance&n=283155

Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex, by Judith Levine
The intro is by Joycelyn Elders, and is excellent. Just skimmed through a bit of the book, but it looks like a VERY important book to read in the current atmosphere of sexual hysteria in this country.

[pop goes the weasel]

19. I've read a couple of reviews on that

I think one was on Salon a couple years back. Or maybe it was Slate.

Anyway, yeah, it looked like a good book.

[freedom2vote]

21. Hello Everyone!!

I think that the school ought to defend itself. It SHOULD teach those things, or else these children will never learn!! I mean those fundies refuse to teach them. So the school must!

I think there ought to be a comprehensive plan out there to start in K and each year teach a bit more so that by the time the children are 12, they will be fully able to answer these kind of questions themselves. What do you guys think?

[Nutmegger]

22. I tend to agree with you

Proper permission must be seeked though to avoid a whole situation.

Let me be the first to Welcome you to DU!!!

[freedom2vote]

23. Hi back!

Hello and thank you!!

Well, in a perfect world, we should get permission. The problem is that often times fundie parents blow a gasket and refuse to allow it. I would rather go around them and say "sorry" than ask and be refused. :hide: I hope I don't offend anyone with that!!

[Nutmegger]

24. That's true...

Forgot that the Fundie Freep-jobs will bitch and moan over something rational. :P

Hope to see more of you! Enjoy your stay.

[ScreamingMeemie]

35. Are you looking to offend somebody with that?

Welcome to DU.

[FreedomAngel82]

37. Uh kindergarters don't know about sex

How dumb. There should be sex education at least starting in 7th/8th grade. Nothing too bad just like an introduction or something.

[GoldenOldie]

46. She thinks her 12-year old daughter is to young????

This mother is clueless. If not 12 when? I beleive it was a city in Texas where the young teens 13 and 14 were having oral sex parties and the parents were shocked when their young kids were being diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases.

I am a grandparent with grandchildren ages 10-19 and I am just as shocked that todays generation of parents are just as naive and afraid to educate their children as my parents generation were.

[Tesha]

48. Girls often start menstruating in 5th grade.

> There should be sex education at least starting in 7th/8th grade.

Girls often start menstruating in 5th grade; don't you think
7th or 8th might be a "little late"?

(Another hint: more than a few girls have already been "a
little late" by 8th grade.)

Tesha

[pop goes the weasel]

52. Kindergartners need to know some things

They should be taught the proper names for all parts of the body, for instance. They should be taught that their body belongs to them. By third grade, children need to be aware that their bodies will soon be changing, so they won't freak out if they start puberty in early 4th grade or have a friend who is changing. See how that goes? Nothing that isn't sensible and age-based.

[Ariana Celeste]

57. 7th or 8th?

I started puberty in 5th grade and started menstruating at the beginning of 6th. Thankfully I had sex ed in 5th grade, otherwise I wouldn't have known what the hell was wrong with me. :hi:

[RayOfHope]

47. We did this in my science class in 7th grade in the mid 80's

I don't know what went on in the article, but when we did it it was no big deal. We had been talking about reproduction as part of a science unit. They separated the class for a day, boys in one room with a male teacher, girls in another with a female teacher. We could either ask the questions directly to the teacher, or if we were shy we could write them down.

Really, it was not a big deal.

I can imagine a fundie parent doesn't even like the correct terms penis or vagina being used.

I just can't get worked up over this.

We don't know how the teacher answered, but the teacher can't be faulted for the questions taht were asked.

[LWolf]

50. I wonder what she really answered.

Until the "investigation," all that's been published are parents' assertions. She has to comply with her district's curriculum and instructional guidelines. If she stepped over that district-drawn line, she has some trouble ahead of her.

Reproduction and sex-ed are handled differently in different states and districts. When and where my kids attended middle school, a "question box" was a daily part of the "family life" (sex ed) unit. All questions that fit the criteria were answered. The questions had to be respectful and academic in nature. I'm not sure about the district I'm in now; while I teach middle school, health and sex ed are taught by our PE and music teachers. I haven't seen what they teach.

[BushOut06]

51. To read that article, you'd think she used Hustler as a teaching aid

"A parent said the answers were extremely graphic"

Now this is the problem, isn't it? To one parent, simply even explaining how intercourse works might be considered "extremely graphic" - even if the teacher did it in a dry, clinical way.

I do agree that it's vital to have parental involvement in the education process, but you can only take that so far. This is why we continue to have debates on whether evolution should be taught in public schools.

My suggestion is that if parents are so damned concerned that their precious kids might be "exposed" to the real world in school, and might actually learn something, that they either home school them or put them in a private school. But please, for the love of god, don't try to impose morality and religion in a public school setting.

[GreenPartyVoter]

56. I would have told the kids to ask their parents. I tend to stick with a

need-to-know-only line when I work with kids. (I mean really, what parent expects the cheerleading coach to explain sex to the team?)

[GoldenOldie]

58. This teacher was a science teacher not a coach.

[Ariana Celeste]

59. "A parent said the answers were extremely graphic"

One person's "extremely graphic" is another person's "no big deal."

Now I read the whole article and it looks like there's too much speculation and not enough information. Did the reporter read any of the answers the teacher gave? How do we know they were really all that graphic?

Like I said farther upthread, I started puberty in 5th grade, and started menstruating in early 6th. I had sex ed in 5th grade, and if it weren't for that, I wouldn't have known what was going on with my body. I would have been terrified! And let me tell you, I wasn't the only girl in my 5th grade class growing boobs and underarm hair.

There have been recent studies showing that girls are hitting puberty sooner now then in recent years. Which imo, means we should be starting sex ed earlier. Perhaps an introduction in 3rd or 4th grade, and then more information in 5th and 6th. And then even more in middle school.

Another thing- they say she was asked about oral sex. What they didn't mention is exactly what the question was about. Now there is no way a teacher should describe how to have oral sex, but it should be taught along with other sex ed topics that oral sex is sex too and also carries the risk of STD's. And all of this should have been taught in sex ed to begin with, but regardless. At 12 years old, children should understand what sex is about, the risks it carries when unprotected, STD's and pregnancy.

[bleedingheart]

62. You know what....this shows you how little these parents interact with

their kids.

These kids had real questions....and the parents are all in denial.

Kids hear stuff...they want the truth.

[Lars39]

64. And it's also testimony to the trust they had in her as a teacher.

[bleedingheart]

65. yup..

[Tierra_y_Libertad]

63. Well, she should've left it to TV and her peers.

Like most parents do.

[ProudToBeBlueInRhody]

67. "She doesn't need to know how to give a man oral sex at 12 years old"

But she'll probably be getting taught anyway by some horny 15 year old boy in a year or so.

[deadparrot]

68. Good lord, I went to Catholic school,

and teachers did this all the time from sixth grade on.

Let's put our fingers in our ears, pretend it doesn't exist, and the kids will stay forever ignorant. :eyes:

[kevinbgoode]

69. I understand what the parents are saying. . .

obviously, they prefer their children learn about those things in church.

[Canadian Socialist]

71. Why is there such a big hang up about sex?

It's a natural function that should be discussed at length all the time. If you remove the mystery and aura of the taboo from something, it usually doesn't become a big problem. Just my opinion of course.

[dsc]

72. She greatly overstepped her bounds

Is she some sort of medical expert or at least an expert on sexual education? I also think parents should have some say in this. Should she be fired, probably not? Though she evidently had been warned about this very thing months before. But she clearly overstepped her bounds.