How will the media spin Cheney's little "accident"?

[Rocknrule]

"Cheney needed the target practice in case terraists ever attack him"
"Cheney's shotgun pellets in stable condition after being intercepted by a terraist"
"It was just a harmless prank" (like in Wedding Crashers when Sack shot Jeremy in the ass)

Also, what do you think the response would be if Clinton did the same thing?
What do you think?

[KingFlorez]

1. They'll just say

"The Vice President thought it was Osama Bin Laden"

[Jackpine Radical]

2. Wot axdint? I dint here bout no axdint.

[K8-EEE]

3. On FR Now: "It Was Just Gunshot"

And the guy didn't announce himself properly to the psychopath Veep....etc. etc., oh and he's AWAKE AND ALERT so, no biggie!

[classof56]

6. Oh, and Cheney went to visit the victim in the hospital.

Whatta noble, selfless veep we have!!

Tired Old Cynic

[Rose Siding]

9. I gotta think that part pissed him off

Some aid said 'sir, you *have* to go with him'

'But, but.....I didn't kill all the birds yet! I have more AMMO!'

[wildbilln864]

4. CNN has already implied...

it was the victim's fault for not announcing his presence.
And it was just birdshot after all. hyuck, hyuck!

[OzarkDem]

7. CNN- "he was "peppered" with gunshot

what a load of crap. The guy was shot in the head, face and chest with a shotgun.

[Cocoa]

5. Americans want a VP that shoots old men

[Rocknrule]

8. "The guy was probably a liberal...he deserved it"

[ragin_acadian]

10. After this week?

From the office of undisclosed location

For immediate release:


On March 3rd, 2002, acting in concert with the FBI, a judge from Delaware with a "Myspace:Ihateamerica account," and the hunky non-CGI'd guy from the Army of One commercials, Vice President Dick Cheney singlehandedly stormed a nest of Al Qaeda operatives living in a manufactured home on the outskirts of Andalusia, AL. The Al Qaeda operatives were planning to use a giant "laser" to superheat the core of the earth, and thus annihilate mankind. One of them had a grenade. Iranian Commandos, operating a 7-11 in nearby Graceville, were quoted as saying: "holy crap."

The liberal media were not at hand to see the events that followed; eyewitness accounts corroborate the heroism of the former Halliburton executive, turned vice president:

Andalusia resident, Buford T. Cheddar said this: "I ain't been this scared since the Nat'null Inquirer printed that story 'bout Robosquirrel: fucker stole my velveeta sanmmich."

FBI field agent John E. Tule had this to say: "Dickey just let 'em have it, he fogged their wall unit air conditioner with teargas, snuck up the plywood handicap ramp, and stabbed the lookout in the face with a pink lawn flamingo. By that time, the two evil henchmen knew he was coming. He then provided covering fire from the living room area with his M60; that allowed additional agents to sneak in the back door, and put the evil mastermind in an iron maiden who was then renditioned to one of those "stan" countries for parboiling."

The actions of the Vice President, in protecting mankind from molten lava caused by a "laser" aimed at the core of the earth, further affirm America's commitment to the war on terror, wiretapping, supporting the troops, and the (PAY ATTENTION, GODAMNIT!) Patriot Act.



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