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Just got this in an e-mail, and had to share!
Saint George
President Bush was scheduled to worship at a small Methodist
Church outside Washington, D.C. as part of Karl Rove's campaign
to reverse Bush's rapidly deteriorating approval ratings. A week
before the visit, Rove called on the Methodist Bishop who was
scheduled to preach on the chosen Sunday. "As you know," began
Rove, "we've been getting a lot of bad publicity among
Methodists because of the president's position on stem cell
research and the like. We'd gladly arrange for Jack Abramoff's
friends to make a contribution of $100,000 to the church if
during your sermon you would say that President Bush is a
saint."
The Bishop thought about it for a few minutes, and finally said,
"This parish is really in desperate need of funds ... I'll agree
to do it."
The following Sunday, Bush pompously showed up for the photo op,
looking especially smug even while attempting to appear pious.
After making a few announcements, the Bishop began his homily:
"George W. Bush is a petty, vindictive, sanctimonious hypocrite
and a nitwit. He is a liar, a cheat, and a low-intelligence
weasel with the world's largest chip on his shoulder. He used
every dirty election trick in the book and still lost, but his
toadies in the Supreme Court appointed him. He lied about his
military record in which he used special privilege to avoid
combat, and then had the gall to dress up and pose on an
aircraft carrier before a banner stating "Mission Accomplished."
He invaded a sovereign country for oil and war profiteering,
turning Iraq into a training ground for terrorists who would
destroy our country.
"He continues to confuse the American people by insisting on a
nonexistent connection between the horrors of 9/11 and the
reason he started his war in Iraq. He routinely appoints
incompetent and unqualified cronies to high-level federal
government positions and as a result, hundreds and hundreds of
Americans died tragically in New Orleans.
"He lets corporate polluters despoil God's creation and doom our
planet. He uses fear-mongering to justify warrantless spying on
American citizens, in clear violation of our Constitution. He is
so psychotic and megalomaniacal that he believes that he was
chosen by God.
"He is the worst example of a Methodist I have ever personally
known.
"But compared to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove and the rest of the
evil fascist bastards in this administration, George W. Bush is
a saint."
:rofl:
TC
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