Top 9 Reasons Dick Cheney Shot His Hunting Partner

[Ernesto]

(caution, right wing site)

http://www.thenoseonyourface.com/

[Dhalgren]

1. Actually, those were pretty funny...

[KurtNYC]

2. Or these

And now...

The Bush Adminstration's Top Ten Reasons Why Dick Cheney Shot his Friend

#10 The friend found Cheney's bestest secret hiding place and threatened to tell

#9 "...(shot a man in Texas) just to watch him die..."

#8 Faulty intelligence

#7 To prove just how much he is against gun control!

#6 To keep him from acquiring WMD

#5 Peer pressure

#4 Clinton

#3 He used to avoid shooting his friends but 911 changed everything

#2 Karl Rove thought is would distract the press from domestic spying, Iraq, the price of oil, Valerie Plame, Tom Delay, Jack Abramoff, Katrina, sagging poll numbers, impeachment, etc. etc.

#1 "Because you can't distinguish between" ...Harry Whittington... "and Osama bin Laden in the War on Terror"

[Democrats_win]

5. Got to be a Brokeback Mountain joke here--guy approaching from behind.

Those latent homosexual cowboys like Cheney are just a little too jumpy. Real men look before they shoot.

Honestly, it's pretty bad to end up shooting someone! What a dumbass!


BTW, I'm authorized by the Gay Mafia to make these sorts of comments.

[kurth]

3. CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE

CHENEY SAYS SHOOTING OF FELLOW HUNTER WAS BASED ON FAULTY INTELLIGENCE
Believed Shooting Victim Was Zawahiri, Veep Says

Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that he shot a fellow hunter while on a quail hunting trip over the weekend because he believed the man was the fugitive terror mastermind Ayman al-Zawahiri. Mr. Cheney acknowledged that the man he sprayed with pellets on Saturday was not al-Zawahiri but rather Harry Whittington, a 78-year-old millionaire lawyer from Austin, blaming the mix-up on “faulty intelligence.” “I believed I had credible intelligence that al-Zawahiri had infiltrated my hunting party in disguise with the intent of spraying me with pellets,” Mr. Cheney told reporters. “Only after I shot Harry in the face and he shouted ‘Cheney, you bastard’ did I realize that this intelligence was faulty.”

Moments after Mr. Cheney’s assault on Mr. Whittington, Mr. al-Zawahiri appeared in a new videotape broadcast on al-Jazeera to announce that he was uninjured in the vice president’s attack because, in his words, “I was in Pakistan.” An aide to the vice president said he believed that the American people would believe Mr. Cheney’s version of events, but added, “If he was going to shoot any of his cronies right now it’s a shame it wasn’t Jack Abramoff.”

At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice president’s shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent “a strong message to terrorists everywhere.” “The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he’ll do to you,” Mr. Bush said.

http://www.borowitzreport.com/

[Rhiannon12866]

7. Excellent post. :D This deserves its own thread...

Only after I shot Harry in the face and he shouted "Cheney, you bastard" did I realize that this intelligence was faulty.

Of only he'd now own up to relying on "faulty intelligence" for his more important assertions.:grr: But, last I heard, he's stubbornly still repeating his original contentions regarding Mohammed Atta, while continuing to deny that he ever said such a thing...:crazy:

At the White House, President George W. Bush defended his vice president’s shooting of a fellow hunter, saying that the attack sent “a strong message to terrorists everywhere.” “The message is, if Dick Cheney is willing to shoot an innocent American citizen at point-blank range, imagine what he’ll do to you,” Mr. Bush said.

This sounds enough like Bush* that I'm tempted to believe it...:eyes::scared:

[enid602]

4. Republicans

Those damned Republicans; just can't keep it in their pockets.

[WI_DEM]

6. I can't wait for Letterman's list

[WestHoustonDem]

8. Thanks for this!

Plagarized at houstondemocrats.com