"CONDOM Manufacturers and Abortion Industry Hijack St. Valentine's Day"

[Bluebear]

Now there's a WAR on SAINT Valentine's Day! Note: This is NOT satire!
:popcorn:

To: National & International Desks

Contact: Jason Jones, Media Director for Human Life International, 540-551-0217, [e-mail]

FRONT ROYAL, Va., Feb. 14 /Christian Wire Service/ -- The Rev. Thomas J. Euteneuer, President of Human Life International (HLI), responds to the attempt by condom manufacturers and the abortion industry to pervert St. Valentine’s Day.

“The condom industry is in bed :eyes: with the abortion industry to exploit a day that traditionally is a celebration of selfless love and marriage. All week at campus centers across the country, organizations that make their money killing pre-born children through abortion will be passing out condoms to students.

“National Condom Week is a shameless marketing stunt promoted by the abortion industry that targets high school and college students using the same techniques that in the past were used by Big Tobacco.

“Condoms break, tear or slip off 1 time out of 12 times, ensuring abortionists who participate in National Condom Week a steady stream of business executing abortions and dispensing medications to treat STDs.

“St Valentine was a Roman Catholic priest who continued to perform marriages even after the Emperor Claudius II had outlawed marriage in a short-sighted attempt to increase the size of his army. The faithful priest was arrested and condemned to death. Before being executed, he sent a note to a young bride where his closing words were Your Valentine.

“St. Valentine’s Day is a celebration of the sacrament of marriage and not one night stands in dirty dorm rooms. Let’s put the ‘saint’ back in St. Valentine’s Day and throw the condoms out!”

http://www.earnedmedia.org/hli0214.htm

[Gman]

1. First Christmas, now this

what's this world coming to???

[Sub Atomic]

8. Don't worry. Easter is going to be next.

[Gman]

13. Please don't say it, PLEASE

The Easter bunny forced his girl friend to have an abortion in spite of using condoms.

[Sub Atomic]

28. Actually, all of us communist liberals are destroying Easter

by insisting on fluffy bunnies and hard-boiled eggs.

Don't you know that Easter is all about Jesus rising from the dead to be with the Flying Spaghetti Monster?

[eggman67]

31. Well

They do fuck like bunnies, y'know... :)

[sui generis]

2. yeeeeargh!

Condoms break, tear or slip off 1 time out of 12 times, leading to increased abortions. Well they might slip off his . . .

hey, let's put the saint back in the church.

[truebrit71]

3. St. Valentine's Day has bugger all to do with marriage...

..it has a TON more to do with getting a piece of ass in exchange for a $3 card and some stale chocolates...

;-)

[Canuckistanian]

5. Do I detect some bitterness there?

And hey, the salesperson said those chocolates were fresh!

[MadMaddie]

4. Do they have nothing better to do?

So 1 time out of 12 is worse than 12 out of 12?

<snip>
Condoms break, tear or slip off 1 time out of 12 times, ensuring abortionists who participate in National Condom Week a steady stream of business executing abortions and dispensing medications to treat STDs.
<snip>

I am no mathmatician but....

[Kolesar]

11. freeps can't count past 10 without taking their shoes off

"Just not a numbers guy"

[Bluebear]

15. And can't count past 20 without taking their shorts off.

O8)

[SmokingJacket]

14. Actually, if I do some quick math...

I've never used anything BUT condoms, and I've getting some for... hmmm... fifteen years. Take off a year and a half when I was trying to get knocked up, times say 50 times a year, and the damn thing broke exactly ONCE and never, ever slipped off. (And that was an old one, and I knew it.)

That's 1 out of 675.

[MadMaddie]

19. I believe you have conducted valid research

To support your statistical data....


Happy Valentines day!!:hi:

[SmokingJacket]

22. You too!

Hey, I'm a fan of the things. Never got a disease, never got pregnant when I didn't mean to. They work!

I came of age back in the late 80's, when AIDS was all around and we were all taught to suit up...

[Kolesar]

26. I was researching whether sex can clear up an acne complexion

:loveya:

[MadMaddie]

29. Bwahhh.....haw...haw...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[McKenzie]

6. “Condoms break, tear or slip off 1 time out of 12 times" Really?

wonder how he got that statistic. "My scientifically proven research was carried out by..." Well do tell us Reverend.

[Iris]

30. and yet they are still over 97% effective when used properly!

what a crock.

[wickerwoman]

39. When you a screw a pig, sure... n/t

[ET Awful]

7. Methinks Euteneuer is a Euteneunuch

I wonder where he gets his statistics from, I have a feeling, it's from a place usually covered by his priestly garb.

[Solly Mack]

9. Come to think of it. I didn't get my 2 for 1 Valentine's Day Abortion

coupon this year.

(those people are "touched by God" alright)

[Mutley]

10. Someone get this guy some tin foil!

Quick! :tinfoilhat:

[FSogol]

12. Hey, that dorm room was clean. n/t

[MissB]

16. Combine that with this thread from LBN on someone filing a restraining

order....

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=102x2107472

on edit: I suppose a war on St. Patrick's day is next?

[converted_democrat]

17. Aaahhh....

They can't run their own lives and be happy so they have to make everyone miserable too. Aaahhhh.. They have to push their beliefs on everyone else because "their way" has worked out so well in their own lives.. :sarcasm:

[formerrepuke]

18. Condoms cause abortions?... WTF?

[valerief]

25. That was my first reaction.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

20. Front Royal? Must be associated with Christendom College

Immaculate Heart of Mary

Christendom College

My mom gets junk mail from them endlessly. She has even sent them money, but only after a funeral, where "in lieu of flowers, the family requests...."

[left of center]

34. You would be right.

[Arkansas Granny]

21. Silly me. I always thought that Valentine's Day was hijacked

by florists, jewelers and chocolate makers. All along, it's been that damned abortion industry and condom makers. Who would have thought.

[Che_Nuevara]

23. Least historically accurate claim EVER

Claudius II was only Emperor for 2 years, and was famous for doing GOOD things for Rome.

The 2 martyrs named Valentine in Italy at the time died after Claudius died.

The "from your Valentine" line first appeared in the 14th century in England.

The account that the "from your Valentine" and "Claudius II" come from date Claudius II as emperor 10 years after he died.

St. Valentine's Feast was actually invented to take the spotlight of the pagan festival Lupercalia.

However, it is no longer recognized as a church holiday and thus has nothing to do with any sacrament whatsoever ...


... the list goes on.

[Che_Nuevara]

24. PS NO accounts have him married to the jailor's daughter.

If he was bangin' her, it was out of wedlock.

[BiggJawn]

27. What's the "tradition"?

"Selfless love and marriage"? Aw, what a load of shit. I've always thought it was about edible panties, red satin, candles and fuckin' till the break of day...

All that stuff married women don't do after they say "I Do".

[eridani]

36. Sure we do.

Not always with our husbands though.

[Bluebear]

37. hehehehehe

[BiggJawn]

41. How well I know. eom

[loudsue]

38. I call bullshit. THIS married woman said "I do",....

and I STILL "DO".....

:loveya: Of course, I married the sweetest, funniest, sexiest guy on the planet, so I can't help it. :applause: :loveya:

:kick::kick::kick:

[BiggJawn]

40. Everyone has their own reality.

That was mine, and it was my own fault. I should have noticed how my future MIL treated my future FIL...
And ran like Hell.

[Synnical]

32. I Shared this press release with some friends at the office

And they both went on a tangent about the "stupidest" things they've ever dealt with in their lives. One was a moderate Repuke, the other a Dem. Neither persons dealt with condoms - I mean, stupid things.

The point is: The is one of the most stupid things any of us can consider. Pu-leeze,.

[left of center]

33. Front Royal is near where I lived for the first 24 years

of my life. There be some strange people there!

It has a strong Catholic presence, even though everything for many miles around it is overwelmingly Protestant. They are more Catholic than the Pope. And if you didn't know them to be Catholic, you could easily mistake them for fundamentalist Christians of the Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell variety. Their public schools have been in perpetual disrepair for many years due to underfunding, which may have something to do with the locals seeing it as competition for their many private religious schools. Crime is also unsually high for this town of only 20,000 despite the pervasive religion.

I'd go on, but the picture here is that Front Royal is very much a backwater town with very wierd people that are so right wing that they would scare the hell out of George Bush!

[Serenades]

35. my goodness

Seriously, I am so tired of all of this garbage.

Fuck everybody and everything.

I don't know if we deserve democracy in this country. Fucking dumb stupid fucking fucks. This is it. I'm over the line now. I'm beyond the point of no return.

Why are we so stupid?

Perhaps someone should tell these pukebags that we need to put the pagan back in christmas.