A civil war letter which I found a fascinating read

[The Straight Story]

Sullivan Ballou's Letter to his Wife
July the 14th, 1861

Washington DC



My very dear Sarah:



The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more.



Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure - and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine 0 God, be done. If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt.



But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows - when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children - is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country?



I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee.



I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed.



Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield.



The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me - perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.



Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more.



But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.



Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again.



As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children.



Sullivan


http://www.civil-war.net/pages/sullivan_ballou.asp

[JDPriestly]

1. What a debt we owe to the heroes of our country.

What a duty we owe them to protect the liberties they fought so hard to obtain.

When I think of the sacrifices that men like the author of that letter -- and their wives and children gave so that I could live in a nation of law and respect for civil liberties, I am completely humbled.

It is an insult to the brave men who fought and died for our country that the likes of Bush and Cheney and their administration are in power in this great country today.

When I think of the sacrifices that men like the soldier who wrote that letter made for our country, I ask myself how I can be too lazy to get up in the morning to walk a few precincts.

[The Straight Story]

5. Well said

Many who have come before us have given it their all, the least we can do is spend some time a day helping get this country back to what it should be.

[Fridays Child]

2. An excerpt from that letter was read...

...with Ashokan Farewell playing in the background, on the PBS series, The Civil War. Very moving and the music is hauntingly beautiful.

[hwmnbn]

7. I remember that scene ....

For me, that was the seminal moment of the entire series. I was hooked, it was so moving and well done.

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. I was listening to that music just today

[Ladyhawk]

3. I must know: Did Sullivan return to Sarah? n/t

[juliana24]

4. No.

[ThoughtCriminal]

6. Farewell Sarah - lyrics

These are not the recognized official lyrics to "Ashokan Farewell", but I found it very moving. The website where this originated seems to be gone, and I don't know the author.


Farewell Sarah
(To the Tune of "Ashokan Farewell")

The time has come to say farewell
And my thoughts are of you Darling,
Your soft auburn hair and your shy gentle smile.
As I gaze with love upon your worn and faded picture
I know my dear Sarah you'll see me no more.

For the battle is raging,
The cannon are sounding.
Our Captain now leads the last charge
And dear Sarah I know

We'll next meet in Heaven.
Your faithful young soldier
Won't be coming home.

You have gone from me my love
And no more shall you whisper
My name or your tender, sweet words in my ear.
This heart is breaking - I'm alone and I'll think about you always
Oh Johnny, dear Johnny I'll see you no more.

For the battle it raged,
The cannon they sounded.
Bravely our flag you held high
And dear Johnny I know
We'll next meet in Heaven.
My faithful young soldier
Won't be coming home.

:cry:

[The Straight Story]

8. Is that an actual song? Would love to hear it!

Off googling I go!