BREAKING - ** NEW** Osama Tape about the Port Deal!!!

[Vinnie From Indy]

CNN/MSNBC/FAUX are all reporting that a shadowy web site has just posted a new Osama Bin Ladin tape in which he speaks at length about the UAE port deal. In this latest tape, Osama indicates that the President should NOT veto the legislation holding up the large port control bill. A White House spokesperson was very quick to indicate that the President will not be intimidated by "evildoers" and WILL veto the bill and that these people opposing the President's veto threat are clearly Al Queda supporters.

Curiously, at the end of the 20 minute tape of Bin Ladin discussing the reasons why the UAE should be kept out of the US port business, Bin Ladin announces that he will soon be putting out a double CD of his greatest hits. The second CD will be an "Osama Unplugged" version of his standards.

[951-Riverside]

1. ...Wow that was fast

[BuyingThyme]

2. UPDATE: Tape authenticated by CIA.

[mom cat]

28. Wow that was fast too!

I'm surprised we didn't have an Osama tape about the Alito hearings. This is also transparently bogus, but I am sure it will play in Peoria.

[shance]

42. Why? Did the CIA produce it?

n/t

[SunDrop23]

52. That's exactly what I thought.

[Kierkegaard]

3. I ordered my copy a few weeks ago.

It's got a beat. I can dance to it. I give it a 7.

[radwriter0555]

48. I got the authenticated OBL autographed copy for an extra $2.99.

It has a CIA certificate of authenticity and a provenance.

The provenance is water-marked "Langley, VA".

[Kierkegaard]

56. You so crazy...

:rofl:

[Generator]

4. And he never thought he'd feel this way

but Brokeback Mountain deserves the Oscar for best picture. Osama is nothing if not on the edge of popular thought.

[Higans]

5. So this means * will let the UAE deal go through?

Sure sell the ports to the terrorist just because OBL told us not to. sounds completely rational to me.

[madmom]

6. You've got to admire those two..they'll do anything to help each

other out. :pals:

[annofark]

7. Well that's that...

now we can finally move on. Thanks Osama.

[myrna minx]

11. Also on the tape...bin Laden is against health savings accounts

and privatizing social security. Osama bin Laden...the new magic 8 ball.

[Marie26]

20. Is this for real? nt

[myrna minx]

53. I read the OP as a joke. There was no URL

and in the world of instant Osama tapes when its convenient for the bushies, I was just adding to the dark humor.

[Donailin]

38. but he does agree with the tax exemption

for religious institutions.

[ThoughtCriminal]

8. I can't wait until we get OBL tapes for every trivial pork bill

In a new tape released today, Osama Bin Ladin strongly condemned use of Federal Funds to repair the "Jefferson Davis Museum" and praised members of Congress who opposed the appropriation...

[converted_democrat]

9. I'm laughing so I don't cry.......n/t

[malaise]

14. I am rolling on the floor laughing

because if American citizens buy this bullshit, they deserve whatever Bushco inflicts on them. Time to impeach these fuggers.

Add.

[Nutmegger]

10. And which closet was he pulled out of in the CIA???

:shrug:

[Raksha]

12. An Osama tape??? Now???

This smells really funny at first whiff.

[zeemike]

13. I can't wait tell he goes on tour

Should get me a "terror in the sky tour" t shirt

[shance]

44. ROFL! It's the "GRAND ILLUSION" tour!***

n/t

[acmejack]

15. I am totally excited about the acoustic version!

Has he announced plans for a Stateside tour yet? Oh damn, I forgot. As soon as he signs with a major label they'll get THAT little detail worked out. A big time manager can make ANYTHING go away. I hear Mary Matalin is going to be taking clients soon.

[Coexist]

17. he's scheduled to do a set on Sirius next Tuesday

I am SO thrilled about this.

[kenny blankenship]

16. I heard Ang Lee was tapped to direct the video!

and he promised to make terrorism as boring as he made gay sex in his last feature film.

[RagingInMiami]

18. Man, I hope he's sings his version of

Bon Jovi's Wanted: Dead or Alive.

It’s all the same, only the wars will change
Everyday it seems we’re wasting away
Another place where the caves are so cold
I’d ride all night on my trusted camelback

Chorus:
He's a cowboy, on a petrol horse he rides
And he told the world
That I’m wanted dead or alive

Sometimes I speak, sometimes it’s not for months
I'm always guaranteed, to get a spot on CNN
Sometimes you tell it's Voting Day
By the videos of me they play
When I watch them on my own, all I do is laugh

Chorus

I walk these Afghan hills, a loaded Uzi on my back
I pray that peace, will never finds its way west
I been everywhere, in and out of the Middle East
I’ve seen a million cities, but I've never seen Bahgdad.

He's a cowboy, on a petrol horse he rides
And he told the world
That I’m wanted dead or alive

He's a cowboy, He thinks the world is on his side
But little does he know
He's wanted dead or alive

[Marie26]

19. This is a joke, I think. nt

[RagingInMiami]

21. "How stupid do they think we are?"

If the last five years is any indicator, ....

[Marie26]

22. Pretty stupid,

Or at least I am. This isn't a real story, IMO. Have you seen this on the news? I haven't been watching TV, but it seems like the OP is making it up. There's no way the White House could have commented so quickly, without it hitting the wires as well. It's just someone's idea of satire.

[RagingInMiami]

27. I haven't seen the news and maybe the OP is joking

But during these uncertain times when night is day and day is night, you just never know.

[Algorem]

23. Is Osama just kidneying around?Shouldn't he dialysis it down a little?

[incapsulated]

24. That was fucking funny.

:rofl:

[Marie26]

26. ... or slightly sad, huh? nt

[Glimmer of Hope]

33. I am laughing at myself because I thought it was real for minute..

You just never know!

[Clark2008]

49. Me, too.

:rofl:

And I wondered how Osama got the video equipment into the cave so quickly ( :eyes: ).

So, when are we going to get the Greatest Hits compilation?

[Bushwick Bill]

25. I know this thread is a put-on, but...

this guy had it right all along two years ago.

But because "Osama" is saying it, the Western public will reflexively dismiss the words as "radical fundamentalist hatred," and then rally around the opposite: Bush, continuing war and genocide against Muslims, and the absolute denial of power and rights to Muslims in occupied regions.

<snip>

In the minds of indoctrinated masses in the United States and the West, whatever the Osama image says is a lie. It is a neat trick.
http://www.fromthewilderness.com/free/ww3/011205_deeper_propoganda.shtml Text

[slybacon9]

29. Bush Reponse: "We know he knows what we know he knows, so all i know is

who know's?.... ya know?"

[Justice Is Comin]

30. I think a little Guy Lombardo

music in the background might be nice. Something from the Xmas concert. Would add that religious overtone that Bush likes.

[bloom]

31. Didn't anyone tell you that Osama Bin Laden is dead?

http://www.whatreallyhappened.com/osama_dead.html :nopity:


:hi:

[zeemike]

36. I don't know but

If you play the CD back wards at half speed you can clearly here someone saying "Osama is dead"

[RagingInMiami]

37. I just tried it

And someone in a Texan accent says "I buried Osama".

[eridani]

51. I don't know, but

--if you hum a few bars, maybe I can fake it.

[izzybeans]

32. Osama reported to say he supports raising the minimum wage

and suggests that he would be a union organizer if he didn't have this whole terrorism thing going.

He always said he supports worker's rights and democratic workplaces.

Star magazine reported just last week that he was a huge John Lennon fan and that he finds his inspiration in the song Imagine. He says it makes him feel connected to his fellow dirty hippies.

Vinnie that whole "greatest hits" thing is just sheer conjecture on the part of the members of his fanzine.

[petron]

34. hoax

Damn, for a second I thought there really would be an "Unplugged Osama".

[petepillow]

35. are you fu**ing kidding me?

i knew it! we ARE livin in a movie. i bet the movie version that comes out in few years will pale in comparison to the soap opera going on right now.

[Burried News]

39. Couldn't the ports be managed by the Bin Laden family?

:hide: :evilgrin:

[pinniped]

40. This is the ol' reverse, double, triple, backwards psychology Jedi....

mind trick.

--A * spokesperson was very quick to indicate that the presinut will not be intimidated by "evildoers--

Funny, the evildoers are the ones in the wh who made that tape.

[BrotherBuzz]

41. Osama bin Ladin is the "perfect reverse barometer" muleskinner

Jack Crabb: You're not going to hang me?

Gen. Custer: Your miserable life is not worth the reversal of a Custer decision.

The humiliation drives Crabb to become a drunk. He encounters Wild Bill Hickok once again and is sent on an errand to pay off his mistress and get her out of town before his new wife catches on. But then Hickock is shot down (August 2, 1876), and Crabb discovers that the mistress is none other than the Rev. Pendrake's wife: "Well, Jack. Now you know. This is a house of ill fame, and I'm a fallen flower. This life is not only wicked and sinful. It isn't even any fun." Crabb leaves and becomes a hermit. One day he is confronted with the ceaseless cruelty and injustice of life and is about to throw himself off a cliff, when... he sees Custer's army marching on the plain below. He realizes then exactly how to get his revenge.

Unaccountably, Custer hires the muleskinner as a scout -- a "perfect reverse barometer," he tells his sergeant. When deciding whether or not to attack an Indian encampment at Little Big Horn, Custer asks,

Gen. Custer: What do you think I should do, Muleskinner? Should I go down there or withdraw?

Jack Crabb: General, you go down there... There are thousands of Indians down there, and when they get done with you, there won't be nothin' left but a greasy spot. You go down there if you got the nerve.

Gen. Custer: Still trying to outsmart me, aren't you, Muleskinner? You want me to think that you don't want me to go down there, but the subtle truth is, you really don't want me to go down there!


And so he does. And the Cheyenne, and thousands of other Indians, massacre Custer's forces

[linazelle]

43. LMAO!

:rofl:

[genie_weenie]

45. Dead Martyr's Society

"If the propaganda's tape score for perfection is plotted on the horizontal of a graph and its importance is plotted on the vertical, the calculating the area of the tape yields the measure of greatness."

"A tape by Osama might score high on the vertical but only average on the horizontal. A CIA tape, on the other hand, would score high both horizontally and vertically, yielding a massive total area, thereby revealing the propaganda to be truly astounding."

"Pure excrement..."

Adapted from the Dead Poets Society....

[linazelle]

46. LOL! nt

[eridani]

47. Please post a URL ASAP when it comes up

Add it to this thread.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_oet&address=358x3185

[eridani]

50. 3 hours later, still no URL

Did this happen, or not? If it did, it blows the fake tape scheme out of the water, because it is extremely unlikely that OBL, if alive, would object to one of his falcon hunting buddies being in charge of our ports. If it didn't, there is still something of a possibility that the tapes are real. Not a high probability, but one you can't completely cross out either.

[iconoclastNYC]

54. This should be labeled SATIRE.

I hate these fake posts. If you are joking you should have the put SATIRE in the title.

[Marie26]

55. THIS POST IS FAKE

Why is this still getting recommendations?

[Vinnie From Indy]

57. Ya Think?

I have always said the people on DU are some of the sharpest around!

[Marie26]

58. This thread might not support that though ...

Prolly half the posters thought it was real at first (me included).