Married people: Has ANYONE ever asked to see your marriage license?

[SoCalDem]

It seems to me that the fundies are really getting revved up on this values kick again.. and trying to get back to their "good marriages" legislation. This piggybacks with the Roe v Wade issues, and the adoption issues..

Apparently in MO, there was still a law on the books that prohibited "cohabitation:..

Even back in the 60's, people "shacked up", but I never heard of anything being charged with anything.. It was just a shameful thing that families whispered about.

I have been married 36 years (on Mar 01) and I have NEVER EVER EVER been asked by ANYONE ..to see the marriage license...not for insurance..not for renting a house..not for ANYTHING..

We presented ourselves as husband & wife, and no one questioned a thing..

I have known people whom I THOUGHT were married, suddenly announce that they were GETTING married.. It never occurred to me to suspect that they were NOT married already..

We have sure turned into the nosiest people on earth if this starts to be a big deal..

anyone been asked??

[slor]

1. No, but do not give the bastards...

any ideas.

[Nickster]

2. Actually quite often when we first got married. I had to get many,many

copies of my marriage license and mail them out. Everyone wanted to see it to combine our accounts, name changes on documents, etc, etc.

[SoCalDem]

7. What state? When we got married in 1970, we lived in Kansas

and then moved to Indiana.. I just went to the DMV and applied ..never had to show a license.. same for the banks..We just opened a joint account.and that was it.

[Nickster]

Illinois, northern suburbs. It was mostly to deal with changing my wife's

name and getting my name on accounts. It was over 11 years ago, so I'm foggy on the specifics, but I know I had to make several trips to the county clerk's office to get the offical certified copies because everyone and their brother wanted one.

[Nickster]

18. Self-Delete

[Igel]

43. My wife and I had to submit documentation when

we opened a joint credit union account. Los Angeles.

The documentation could be the license, or anything based on the license. Since the initial flurry, not once, both in Texas and New York. Although, oddly, in 1999 New York various places insisted that my wife sign using an alias--she didn't change her last name, and some folk couldn't quite get their minds around it.

[gkhouston]

15. Interesting. For the accounts we combined, we had to be present at

the same time (either in person or over the phone) but no one ever asked to see our marriage license.

[unblock]

19. i had a similar experience, but the key is "name change"

i think it's more accurate to say they need to see official documentation for the name change(s), not the marriage.

it just so happens that one document doubles for both purposes.

[AspenRose]

26. Yep.

Me too.

For DMV, combining accounts, updating my name on my college records, updating my name on credit report stuff....social security...

and recently for passport renewal, which is understandable since my last passport had my maiden name on it.

40 years ago my marriage would have been illegal in several states (interracial marriage). Wonder if the powers that be would like to turn that little law over....

[Nickster]

59. Funny, my marriage would have been illegal too.

[dysfunctional press]

3. for some reason, my new father-in-law demanded it...

(we eloped)
all my new mother-in-law could do was cry.

[gkhouston]

4. Nope.

Been married several years and don't have the same last name as my husband.

[Gormy Cuss]

45. Yes, no name changing comes in handy sometimes.

I think that with the exception of probate, retaining your own name cuts down on a lot of busy paperwork.

Of course there are the occasional people who apparently have never heard of women keeping their own names.

;-)

[gkhouston]

51. yeah, I've met 'em.

And they seem to think it's weird that my kid doesn't have the same last name that I do, but heck, I know divorced women who've remarried that don't have the same surname as their kids, so what's the difference?

[Gormy Cuss]

56. Worse still, cops

I've had two female friends in two different states tell me that cops hassled them because they were driving cars registered in the spouse's name. One cop told the woman she ought to 'fix' that name problem on her license. The other one took the tack that he had to be careful about releasing the car to someone other than the owner, and she pointed out that if license had the same surname that's no proof either - she could be his car stealing cousin who just happens to live with him.

I also have a friend who post 9/11 has been pulled aside for extra questioning when returning from Canada with her spouse.

[waiting for hope]

5. Never....

and we just bought a house a few years ago, did a home equity loan, have had two children - born in different states and as I'm typing now, I'm trying to think where our license is located in our house.

[shain from kane]

50. We have ours in the headboard of the bed. Accused my

wife of using it as a taxi cab license.

[brooklynite]

6. The better question might be...

whether any married couple with different last names{/b] has been challenged to prove they're married. In my case the answer is 'no', but then I live in the heathen "City of New York"

[MountainLaurel]

37. I've heard of such a thing

From a professor in undergrad, about when she was living in Utah in the 1980s. And interestingly, it had to do with her voting registration.

[canichelouis]

53. Never for this no-name change union

We have noted this in several situations where we expected to be asked to provide proof.

[ProfessorGAC]

8. Only Once

When my wife and i were looking into adoption, back in the mid-80's, we needed a copy of it for the two organizations we visited. Other than that, no.
The Professor

[PurpleChez]

9. Frank Lloyd Wright did a night or two in the pokey

for violating the Mann Act prohibiting cohabitation. I think he was in his 60s at the time. This was the 1920s or 30s. Don't know if such a law is still on the book or if anyone even tries to enforce it.

[unblock]

10. yes, several times

although only during my first marriage license, because that was the official documentation for my name change.
when i got divorced, i changed it back to my birth name, and so no one ever asks.

[MindPilot]

11. Once...to get a mortgage.

On edit: I HAVE been asked numerous times to produce divorce documentation. Seems in this culture it's more important to prove I'm NOT married. :shrug:

[RiDuvessa]

12. If you are in the military, you will be asked.

Some of our pay and benefits are determined by whether you are married. When you first register your spouse for a dependent ID card, they ask for a copy of the marriage certificate.

[SoCalDem]

20. I know a few ex-wives who kept the name AND the commissary card

as long as the husband dosn;t get a new wife and a card for her, they are OK. One has been using it for years:)

[thinkingwoman]

13. married 10 years

this time (2nd) and never once had to produce it...not even to change my name on DL, Soc Sec card, etc.

I was married 7 years the 1st time and I don't remember having to produce it then either.

[eggman67]

14. Nope

I don't have the slightest idea where it is either.

[Mrs. Overall]

16. Yes--I had to provide a copy when I applied for a passport

in Nov. of 2001. They were being very rigid about the rules back then.

[elehhhhna]

17. Yes. Been marreid 20 years and in January...

Hub's co sent out a memo that anyone insuring their spouses through the co. must fax a copy of the doc (of swear out an affidavit)to the Company.

[npincus]

21. I have.

I'm trying to remember where and when. I believe it was at a bank when we opened a joint account. I think I also had to submit one when my husband and I applied for a mortgage. I don't remember so well.

My husband is Japanese and we have different last names.

[converted_democrat]

22. I know Florida has anti cohabitation laws, and I think North Carolina

does too.. No, I've never had anyone ask to see my marriage license, even when I got my drivers license in my new name..

[BR_Parkway]

39. Sheriff in NC fired a lady dispatcher for cohabiting with a deputy

because the law is still on the books and he said they were breaking the law.

[TahitiNut]

23. Only the Army, as I recall.

Engaged before being drafted, my fiancee chose to get married before I went to Viet Nam. In order to sign up for spousal benefits, they wanted to see the marriage license, as I recall.

[NoMoDem]

24. no, 22 years..

and I'm not even sure I could FIND my marriage license.

On the Missouri thing, I recall about 15 years ago some citizens of LaDue(sic?), a wealthy St. Louis suburb, had a couple charged with a habitation violation They were a mixed race couple and both had children, the charged had to do with unrelated people not being allowed in a single family dwelling. It amounted to very thinly masked racism. I think the couple prevailed, but I can't quite remember.

[InsultComicDog]

25. Yes

My wife has had to present it to identify herself when changing names on documents.

Apparently they don't believe her real name is Mrs. ComicDog. :evilgrin:

[troubleinwinter]

27. Not once in 38 years.

[revkat]

28. at the CA DMV

When we moved to CA I had to show it along with my birth certificate because of the name change thing. So, it was not to prove I was married, but that I was the person on the birth certificate. This was in 2004.

[Occulus]

29. It must be really really fucking nice to be ABLE to worry about that.

NO FUCKING TEXT!!!

[fasttense]

30. Yes, I get it all the time.

I kept my maiden name and I live in rural TN. I keep copies for ignorant people. Yet girls and boys around here live together on a regular basis, you would think they would stop asking me after 22 years of marriage but no....

I once got into a big argument with a sales clerk at Wal-Mart over it. I wanted to use a gift certificate with my husband's name on it and they accused me of not being married to him even with my 17 year old daughter standing right there. My daughter gave them "what for" she can argue a good case. I just shrugged and refused to shop there, ever.

[InsultComicDog]

33. Just as well

Wish more people would stop shopping at Wal-Mart anyway

[NewWaveChick1981]

31. Only one time, and that was for my name change with the

Social Security Administration right after we got married in 1992 in NC. Husband and I "shacked up" off and on during the time we dated (a pretty long time!), and the leasing agents at the apts. we rented did not ask any questions at all. It's still technically illegal to cohabitate in NC, but it's not ever enforced.

In college, I moved off campus my junior year and had two male roommates (who really WERE just roommates and nothing else). No one ever questioned that situation (except my mother, LOL!), and no one ever asked for a marriage license.

Edited to add: if you're being asked now, it might be because of the Patriot Act. Banks and other agencies are required to verify proof of identity, and some might interpret it to mean marriage license too.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

32. Wanna hear something REALLY scary?

No one ever asks to see my Bar cards, my licenses, my diplomas, anything.

OK, so I need the Bar card when entering Federal lock-ups to see clients - but that was a long time ago. And I only had to show it once at any particular facility, since someone always remembered me (not many women lawyers going into those places back then).

But, it's really amusing when you consider how trusting everyone is. I could be anyone. I could be, well, you know, a freeper.

Or a member of the Bush family.

Or Tom Tancredo on a girly day.

[Atman]

34. Now that you mention it...

I was sodomizing my wife's mistress the other night, when the HSA kicked in the basement door. Fortunately for us, we learned a while back to keep a laminated copy of our marriage license attached in a prominent location on our latex corsets, otherwise it could have been an embarrassing scene. The officers let us go with a warning and a couple of Polaroids.

Poor Mistress Chantelle was not so lucky, however. She was an unindicted cohabitator. Last I heard they were still holding her at an undisclosed location on some trumped-up weapons charges resulting from an unregistered strap-on.

Bush has RUINED America, dammit!

[Bill McBlueState]

35. signing up for health insurance

Our health plan is in a weird state right now where you can buy the family plan for your opposite-sex spouse, your same-sex spouse, or your same-sex domestic partner. But you can't buy the family plan for your opposite-sex domestic partner. So I had to show our marriage certificate to get my wife covered.

That's the only time I remember, though.

on edit: A couple more times-- I'm pretty sure my wife needed it to hyphenate her name. And, when we opened a joint checking account, the banker made a photocopy just to be safe, but she wasn't sure it was necessary.

[cmd]

36. Never

Bought a house, changed driver's license, social security, bank accounts; but never have been asked to show our marriage license.

[babylonsister]

38. Never, in 24 years. nt

[terip64]

40. never

[ThoughtCriminal]

41. Once maybe

18 years ago while adopting our children I think we we may have had to bring documentation.

[Ecumenist]

42. No, I've never had anyone ask to see my licence.....

However, a couple of years ago, one of my husband's ex's who wasn't aware that he was married,nor even believed that he would marry actually called and mentioned it in passing to him. I've only been married 5 years on May 6 and she was shocked that I was speaking to her like an old friend. I cannot tell you the looks on faces on people when they meet me and realise that I'm his wife. I'm a native Angelina, (African american with titan, almost waistlength hair) and he's tall, bohemian descent good old boy from deepindeharta, texas unlike the idiot I laughingly refer to as president. :hi:

[Speck Tater]

44. ME: no. My Wife: yes

Right after we got married and it was always something to do with getting her name changed on drivers licenses, bank accounts, etc. etc.

Also, in the last 43 years since graduating nobody has ever asked to see my high school diploma either.

[Cleita]

48. Me too for the same reasons you list, and to collect Social Security

widow's benefits when my husband died. Otherwise, to stay in hotels or other venues that could be considered co-habiting, no.

[YOY]

46. The only time we had to produce it was

When my wife applied for a spouses visa to the states. They didn't give us many problems due to our situation.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

47. In Texas when we were married,

my husband said the law stated that you were considered married if you said you were married and lived together. We had no problem getting a license from the judge, but I've never had to show it to anyone.

[Arkansas Granny]

49. When we first married, my husband was in the military and we

had to show our marriage license many times to get everything set up for allotments, ID cards, etc. We divorced in 1976. Last year, when he applied for Social Security when he retired, they asked for it and neither one of us could find it. He had to apply for a copy from the state where we were married. His current wife has saved it so I can use it when I apply for Social Security in a few years.

[LiberalinNC]

52. There are only 2 times in my 17 years of marriage (anniv. Sat) have I been

asked; 1. SS # update 2. Passport

no other time have I been asked.

[wryter2000]

54. Yes and no

In CA, you don't get a copy of your license. If you want one, you have to fill out a form and pay the county. You get a certificate to commemorate the wedding.

I did have to get a copy of the license in order to get the Social Security death benefit when he died. A reasonable request, imho.

I kept my name, so we had different last names. That caused a bit of concern when we checked into a hotel in SoCal once. We showed the guy our wedding rings, and he was satisfied.

[alcibiades_mystery]

55. YMCA for family discount

I shit you not.

Probably because my wife is way too hot to be married to me, and the YMCA staff was reasonably suspicious...:-)

[malta blue]

57. Yes - when I added my husband to the health insurance

I receive through my job.

[foreverdem]

58. Yes, when I was first married

I had to show it at DMV, Social Security office, and send copies to credit card companies to change my name, but that was 15 years ago and I haven't been asked to show it since.

[Radio_Guy]

60. Nope

I've often wondered why states issue them. It's not like you take a test to prove you are good at it to get one like a driver's license.

And wouldn't church weddings starting a state licensed marriage be a violation of the seperation of church and state?