You Know You Are Still a Republican If ...

[Mabus]

I found the following on sports related forum that I check in on from to time. Politics are usually pretty discouraged on the sports boards so I was happy to see that this list was still up.

You are more upset about Brokeback Mountain than Abu Ghraib.

You can’t stand Hilary Clinton’s hair but you have no problem with Tom DeLay’s.

You think Global Warming is no big deal but environmentalists are a major problem.

You support the "war on drugs" but think Rush Limbaugh is being prosecuted unfairly.

You think professional athletes make too much money but Sam Walton’s kids deserve everything they have.

You like the way George Bush walks.

You think Al Gore is "wooden" and Donald Rumsfeld has charisma.

You think CNN is biased but Fox News is neutral.

You like the sound of Newt Gingrich’s voice.

You are sure the United States has the best education and health care systems in the world.

You think Dick Cheney is a straight shooter.

You think Michael Chertoff’s beard makes him look distinguished.

You think the problem with our health care system is lawyers.

You think it was more important to locate Monica Lewinsky’s blue dress than to locate weapons of mass destruction.

You don’t believe "terrorism" has made Rudy Giuliani an incredibly rich man.

You believe freedom of speech covers everything Pat Robertson says and does, but burning a flag should be illegal.

You can be in the same room with Brit Hume.

You have yourself convinced that the country and world are better off now than 5 years ago.

One of the few responses was a guy (obviously still a Republican) who spent more time defending Fox over CNN than any other subject. The following reply to Republican guy was:

...If you can answer yes to at least five of the telltale signs, you need help. But I'm happy to see that you're well on the way to recovery, as the first step thereto is admission.

Another response:

You know you are a Dem if you want to take money from those who worked for it and give to those who won't.

You know you are a Dem if you have to pull against the success of the country in order to try to get back into power.

You know you are a Dem if you harp on past failures but offer no new solutions.

You know you are a Dem if you can't win elections so you try to indict those who have.

You know you are a Dem if your party spokesmen are caricatures to the American public.

You know you are a Dem if you want to kill babies but don't want to execute murderers.

You know you are a Dem if you are more interested in a South Texas birdhunt than finding terrorist phoning their friends.

[GrumpyGreg]

1. I could be in the same room with Brit Hume--no problem.