Let's have some fun - what do you think a George Bush prayer sounds like?

[Rocknrule]

Since he's such a "Christian, Gawdly man" what do you think is the main content of his prayers?
"Dear God, please let me win the next election so I can experience the orgasmic pleasure of killing more Muslims"

[hiley]

1. Hail

Satan..

[az chela]

2. uh duh,bla bla bla ,baaaaaaaa

[TahitiNut]

3. "Dear me!"

:eyes:

[atommom]

4. Well, I doubt there's much listening involved.

"What's that, God, you say the rich are still being taxed too much? The libruls ain't sufferin' enough? Armageddon ain't here yet? My friends ain't makin' money fast enough? I hear, and I obey."

[BlueEyedSon]

5. "i hope they dont catch me"

[Warren Stupidity]

6. I don't think he is religious at all.

The whole facade is phony. Phony texan, phony Christian. The real Bush comes through every now and then, and he is a vile dry drunk ex-frat boy who gives people the finger and thinks of some people as 'major league assholes', and has a fondness for rubbing the scalps of bald headed guys, which is really sort of gay.

On the other hand I actually tried to imagine what might be going through that skull of his and I found the whole experiment massively unpleasant.

[Arkansas Granny]

20. I have to agree with your conclusion that Bush is not religious

at all. He certainly does not exhibit any of the traits that most people associate with Christianity.

[Rocknrule]

24. But but but

I thought hating gays and killing nonbelievers were the cornerstones of Christianity!
:sarcasm:

[Arkansas Granny]

25. What did I tell you about listening to Pat Robertson?

[Warpy]

7. Gimme thish and that and shome of that other shtuff

and shmite all them folksh my momma and I don't like aymen. Hic.

[Guy Whitey Corngood]

8. Profit Uber Alles! n/t

[C_U_L8R]

9. I believe he prays for himself

and not for others....such as
"Dear God please help ME steal this election"
"Dear God please don't let anyone find out what a fraud I am"
"Dear God please make ME powerful beyond my wildest dreams"
"Dear God please help ME not be such a fuck up"

[Rocknrule]

10. "Lets see, dear...what's His name again?"

"...uh, oh, Mother, who art from hell, uh, the score is four and seven beers ago, no wait, that was a speech, not a prayer...uh, give us today higher poll numbers, uh, forgive Whittington for trespassing and getting in the way of Cheney's buckshot...oh wait, the cameras are off! Screw this!" (takes a swig of Jack Daniels and a snort of cocaine)

[Minnesota Libra]

11. Please, Oh GOD, don't let Cheney die off yet, I.........

......still need him to tell me the next step. BTW God, not everyone is in lock step like Rummie said they would be. What do I do now? God, I want my Mommy and Daddy." :sarcasm:

[hermetic]

12. How about

Lord, let me get back to my ranch for some brush tending. And keep me free from all these loonies. We know we're doin the right thing.


I like this question. Nominate.

[jody]

13. Like a Pharisee as Jesus explained in Luke 18:11-14:

QUOTE
Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.

The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.

I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.

And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.

I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
UNQUOTE

[zonmoy]

14. lord

help me do my evil deeds so that you can do yours through me.

[Thor_MN]

15. Probably parallels his inner monologue: either the sound of silence

or cacophony of random voices. In the words of Hank Hill, "That boy ain't right." He is unable to complete a sentence. He talks in 4-6 words sentence fragments, never completing a thought.

[politicat]

16. Dear God, please gimme....

gimme... gimme... gimme....

Now.

[Rocknrule]

17. "Ade due Damballa...

...give me the power I beg of you! Leveau mercier du bois chaloitte. Secoise entienne mais pois de morte. Morteisma lieu de vocuier de mieu vochette. Endenlieu pour du boisette Damballa! Endenlieu pour du boisette Damballa! Endenlieu pour du boisette Damballa!"

[ThatsMyBarack]

32. Since when does * speak French?

I didn't even think he could talk good English!

[Rocknrule]

33. Imagine how pissed his base would be

if he was more fluent in French than English!

[BlueStorm]

18. Dear God let us take Iraq NOW

so that we can have all that oil...

Oh and please help avert the people's eyes from all of my and my administration's wrongdoings... oh wait... they're doing that anyways.

Blu

[Olney Blue]

19. Our Father, who art in heaven,

Hallowed be the Bush name.
My kingdom come, my will be done,
In the Middle East, as it is in the U.S.
Give me this day my blood and oil.
And don't forgive those liberals who trespass against me.
Lead me not into temptation to spend money to
deliver the suffering from pain.
For I am the kingdom, the power, and the glory-
Forever and ever due to Diebold.
Amen.

[grilled onions]

21. Hey Condi!

Who is I supposed to be prayin to again???

[BringEmOn]

22. Hey, gawd! I'm listenin'...anytime you wanna to pray to me.

[ColonelTom]

23. Bright Eyes: "When the President Talks to God"

WHEN THE PRESIDENT TALKS TO GOD
music & lyrics by Conor Oberst

When the president talks to God
Are the conversations brief or long?
Does he ask to rape our women's rights
And send poor farm kids off to die?
Does God suggest an oil hike
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Are the consonants all hard or soft?
Is he resolute all down the line?
Is every issue black or white?
Does what God say ever change his mind
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
Does he fake that drawl or merely nod?
Agree which convicts should be killed?
Where prisons should be built and filled?
Which voter fraud must be concealed
When the president talks to God?

When the president talks to God
I wonder which one plays the better cop
"We should find some jobs, the ghetto's broke"
"No, they're lazy, George, I say we don't.
Just give 'em more liquor stores and dirty coke"
That's what God recommends

When the president talks to God
Do they drink near beer and go play golf
While they pick which countries to invade
Which Muslim souls still can be saved?
I guess god just calls a spade a spade
When the president talks to God

When the president talks to God
Does he ever think that maybe he's not?
That that voice is just inside his head
When he kneels next to the presidential bed
Does he ever smell his own bullshit
When the president talks to God?

I doubt it

I doubt it

[dysfunctional press]

26. Bush doesn't pray and doesn't believe in god.

he obviously has no fear of divine justice or at some point "standing before god" to have his life/soul judged.

the only praying he does is to the porcelein god after too much wild turkey, maker's mark and/or jack daniels.

[phylny]

27. "God is great

God is good
And we thank him
For our food.
Amen."

[BringEmOn]

28. "Hair of the dog that bit ya!"

[Bluebear]

29. __________ ____________ _________ ________

I am betting this phony POS never prays.

[AlCzervik]

30. i think they sound like nothing because i believe he doesn't pray

i think he preys.

[MurrayDelph]

31. Dear God, if You will only

make this hangover go away, I promise to become the tea-totaler
I tell everyone I am. I know I promise this a lot, but this time I mean it.

[Rocknrule]

34. He thinks he's God, so he probably thinks he hears the prayers of others

Suddenly, a scene in Bruce Almighty comes to mind. "Being the ruler of the universe is HARD WORK!"