The Sushi Bandit
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:52 PM
Original message |
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Edited on Wed Jan-04-06 09:55 PM by The Sushi Bandit
1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country- - if they could find the time- - and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.
7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country ... or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that these other people, if there are any, stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided, of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. None of these newspapers are read by the guy who is running the country into the ground.
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DainBramaged
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:54 PM
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1. If this is yours it couldn't be truer. I kiss your nodes. Brilliant |
DanCa
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:55 PM
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2. I read weekly world news |
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So that I can stay one step ahead of the men in black. D:
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DainBramaged
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:57 PM
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3. And the little men in saucers too. |
DanCa
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Wed Jan-04-06 10:00 PM
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10. They're comming to take me away |
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oh-ho hehe oh-ho to the funny farm were life is beautiful all the time and ill be happy to see the nice young men in thier fine white coats thier comming to take me away. :D :wink:
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Posteritatis
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:57 PM
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4. Then there's The Onion |
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Read by the folks who ought to run the country. ;)
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The Sushi Bandit
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:57 PM
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The Honolulu Advertiser is read by people looking for the surf report
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0007
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:59 PM
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waiting for hope
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:59 PM
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7. Here's a great Jefferson quote... |
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The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers. Thomas Jefferson 3rd president of US (1743 - 1826)
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FloridaPat
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:59 PM
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8. Great! Thanks for posting. |
thecrow
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Wed Jan-04-06 09:59 PM
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But they get fresh papers every other day....
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The Sushi Bandit
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Thu Jan-05-06 03:52 AM
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HEyHEY
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Thu Jan-05-06 03:55 AM
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Read by people who want to break up the country (Sorry, Canada joke there)
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tenshi816
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Thu Jan-05-06 05:17 AM
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13. There was a 1980s version of this in the UK |
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that originated on the television comedy series Yes, Prime Minister, which was on when the Conservatives still ran the country. It seems really backwards today now that Labour is in charge, but pretty accurate if you look at it from an 80s perspective:
The TIMES is read by the people who run the country.
The MIRROR is read by the people who think they run the country.
The GUARDIAN is read by people who think they ought to run the country.
The DAILY MAIL is read by the wives of the people who run the country.
The FINANCIAL TIMES is read by people who own the country.
The DAILY EXPRESS is read by people who think the country should be run the way it used to be.
The DAILY TELEGRAPH is read by people who think the country is run the way it used to be.
And the SUN is read by people who don't care who the hell runs the country as long as she has big tits.
Like I said, it's outdated now that the Conservatives aren't in power (with the exception of SUN and the FINANCIAL TIMES, which won't ever change). With some tweaking, it can easily be brought up to date, like this:
The GUARDIAN is read by people who run the country.
The MIRROR is read by people who think they run the country.
The TIMES is read by people who think they ought to run the country.
The DAILY MAIL is read by the wives of the people who used to run the country.
The FINANCIAL TIMES is read by people who own the country.
The DAILY EXPRESS is read by people who think the country is run the way it used to be.
The DAILY TELEGRAPH is read by people who think the country should be run the way it used to be.
And the SUN is read by people who don't care who the hell runs the country as long as she has big tits.
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The Sushi Bandit
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Thu Jan-05-06 02:19 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
14. Everyone should know their roots! |
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Sun May 05th 2024, 03:31 AM
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