Been stuck on a road trip with my RW mother, and it seems she's a bigot...

[BreweryYardRat]

If this should go in the Lounge, lemme know, and I'll try and move it.

If I recall correctly, it was Abraham Lincoln who said "You can fool some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time." Well, my mother falls squarely into the first category. She is an imbecile who's not only drunk the Kool-Aid, but chugged most of the pitcher. Some of you may remember that I don't like my mother for reasons that are more personal than political, and you may think I'm exaggerating. Let me cite a few examples for you:

I'm talking about someone who doesn't believe in the need for a universal health-care system or the need to stop outsourcing. Someone who does believe in school vouchers and the "liberal media." Someone who was stupid enough to vote for Bush last year even though she wants to protect the environment and doesn't support torture. For God's sake, she actually thinks privatizing social security is a good idea!

And I was stuck with her for a week on my way to and from a family funeral. I think the ensuing stress took a few years off my life.

To add to the fun, Tuesday night, on the way back home, we were staying in a hotel with a gym. About 9:00, I said, "Hey Mom, I'm going to the gym." She went, "No!" I said, "Why not?" She made various protestations, but they rang a little hollow, so I pressed the issue, and she finally said, "Because that's where queers hang out at this time of night!" and then started into a rant, which I won't repeat in detail, except to note that she used the phrase "those people" once or twice.

I told her she was a fucking bigot and went anyway. When I came back to the room, she tried to claim she wasn't biased against gay people. Lying bitch.

I'm so glad to be home with may dad. While he may be a Republican, at least it's for financial reasons, and not out of blind stupidity and hatred.

[PretzelWarrior]

1. did those gay people turn you?

just wondering.

[BreweryYardRat]

3. No. Gym was closed, anyway. ;-)

I went to high school with a bunch of gay people. Never had any sort of effect. Hell, I can actually think of a few people I'd switch teams for.

[BattyDem]

9. That's what I was thinking

I'll ignore the question of why she thinks only gay people go to the gym at night ... but why would she assume that being around gay people is some sort of "threat" to a person? It's not contagious! :eyes:

[MADem]

20. Gee, I am totally out of it

I got this detailed, top secret email about "the gay agenda," and I was given to understand that the GYM visits took place WELL before brunch...and that evenings were spent out at the theatre!

The GAY AGENDA
6:00 am Gym
8:00 am Breakfast (oatmeal and egg whites)
9:00 am Hair appointment
10:00 am Shopping
12:00 PM Brunch

2:00 PM
1) Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, State and Local Governments as well as all other national governments,
2) Recruit all straight youngsters to our debauched lifestyle,
3) Destroy all healthy heterosexual marriages,
4) Replace all school counselors in grades K-12 with agents of Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels,
5) Establish planetary chain of homo breeding gulags where over-medicated imprisoned straight women are turned into artificially impregnated baby factories to produce prepubescent love slaves for our devotedly pederastic gay leadership,
6) bulldoze all houses of worship, and
7) Secure total control of the INTERNET and all mass media for the exclusive use of child pornographers.

2:30 PM Get forty winks of beauty rest to prevent facial wrinkles from stress of world conquest
4:00 PM Cocktails
6:00 PM Light Dinner (soup, salad, with Chardonnay)
8:00 PM Theater
11:00 PM Bed (du jour)"

We'll have to enquire of our gay cohorts if this is an accurate representation!

Bonus: An old Fiore on the Gay Agenda--on the money!! http://www.markfiore.com/animation/agenda.html

[BattyDem]

24. Wow! Gay people get a LOT done between 2:00-2:30 PM

It would take me at least 2 hours to accomplish all of that. Let's see ... what else does it say ... Aha! I knew Chardonnay was a gay wine!


:sarcasm: (I didn't really need to add this, did I?)

[MADem]

25. Heh heh

No, you don't need to add it...but then again, there are some very literal types who come out of the shadows at odd times and get offended, so best safe than sorry!

I should count my blessings you divined my tone!!!!

[GrpCaptMandrake]

32. Wow!

Are there "Gay Time Management Seminars?" 2:00 to 2:30 alone would be worth the fee!

:spray: :rofl:

[jody]

2. Please be tolerant of your mother. Someday you will wish you could hug her

and someday you might have children or grandchildren who think you are a bit weird.

I hope my children and grandchildren will forgive my eccentricities.

Have a peaceful evening. :hi:

[SharonAnn]

4. Keep your distance from your mother. It's a toxic situation.

[jody]

5. Were you replying to me? n/t

[PretzelWarrior]

6. no. she's replying to anyone with a mother.

they're all toxic once you grow up unless they butt out of your bizness. lololol.

There's a reason Everybody Loves Raymond is so popular.

[jody]

8. Not all mothers and grandmothers are toxic. My wife is loved by her

children and grandchildren and was a constant source of counsel to them and to me.

[PretzelWarrior]

11. I know. I"m just kidding. sometimes we mentally outgrow

our parents sometimes because of the chances they gave us in life. and we have to work gently to help them past preconceived notions.

[demgurl]

17. jody not all parents are great.

Mine refused to believe her brother tried to molest me. Years later she even embezzled thousands of dollars from me and the rest of the family. I am actually suing her right now because of it. And she has done so much more than that but that is for starters. Some people are toxic and you need to divorce yourself from those people.

[jody]

22. I know and my heart grieves for you and them. I wish things weren't like

that but they are. :cry:

[demgurl]

33. Thank you very much.

I wish we all had a 'Leave it to Beaver' sort of family but it seems almost impossible these days.

[norml]

7. What makes 9pm the gay time for gyms?

Since I go in the mid-afternoon that must be the fat time.

[StellaBlue]

12. bwhahaha

:rofl:

Me, TOO

[norml]

14. It's true, mid-afternoon is when the less attractive people slink in

to get their exercise when it's not so busy.

[caligirl]

10. Hubby learned to ignore his rt wing religously excessive mom.

She pushed to the point of putting her views in front of the mother son relationship. Now she sits alone with an occassional phone call and gift. Some people don't appreciate what they have destroyed until its done.

[PatriotGames]

13. I appears the apple fell FAR from the tree...

It must have been a rough trip.

[BreweryYardRat]

16. Yep.

Very rough.

[Acryliccalico]

15. Love your mother now while you can.

The more you argue with her the more you will drive a trench between yourselves. Just know that she doesn't know any better and love her in spite of it.:kick:

[BreweryYardRat]

18. Believe me, I'm trying to.

It's even harder when she does stuff like this, though...

[Acryliccalico]

31. Love is sometimes hard but

it will mean a lot later believe me.:kick:

[sendero]

19. I hear you...

.... my parents are both right wing morons. They are racists, and no doubt that my marrying a woman with a black child was a bit upsetting to them. Tough shit.

The last time I visited them they started in on the O-Really bullshit and I got pissed and told them they were full of shit if they believed a word he said. It's really stressful, and I love them because they are my parents, but I have resolved to never put up with the bullshit again. The next time either of them bring up their crap, I'm going to tell them to never mention politics/Fox/Oreally/etc to me again, or I will grab everyone and leave on the spot.

And I will mean it, and they will know I mean it :)

[misanthrope]

34. Don't threaten it...

...just do it. Don't add to the drama with a big soapbox moment. Just be calm, collected and polite and excuse yourself.

If you start leaving everytime they make things political, they'll get the hint. If they don't, then no loss there as you can find more productive ways of expending the energy wasted on arguments. If they won't appreciate you, someone else will.

[prole_for_peace]

21. when i went to "gay bars" i was told that i would become gay.

of course this was by a bunch of rw nutjobs that were outside "saving souls" by handing out leaflets and trying to talk people into not going in. i told them that, as a straight woman, i went there because they had better music, better looking men and better drinks than any other bar in town and i didn't have to worry about the good old boys trying to feel me up when their girlfriends weren't looking. my best friend, who is gay, was pulling me and telling me not to engage them but it was too much. i got on the outside pay phone (this was a long time ago) a few feet from the xtians and started calling all my friends, telling them in a loud drunk voice what was going on and to come on down. boy i had a good time that night. i think....

[Ready4Change]

30. Should have looked at the ground outside the bar.

"Oh my, I can SEE the gayness, its just pouring out of the bar. Look out! It's spreading! Don't get any on your shoes! I mean your loafers! Oh No! Too Late!"

:eyes:

[Heddi]

23. I hear you

The older I get (I turn 30 in March), the more I realize what an absolute, unappologetic bigot and racist my mother is.

After Katrina, she was making comments about "those people" and how she coudn't believe "those people" didn't leave, and "those people" were out looting televisions especially considering "those people" didn't even have houses or electricity to watch the TV, and how she saw on the news one of those "nigger bitches" running around the street with a shopping-cart full of clothes and shoes.

And she always prefaces these comments with "Now, I know your ears will fall off when I say this, but I truly believe...." or "Now, I know all black/gay/Mexican/Asian/other group aren't like this, but this nigger/fag/mexican/chinese/other group I work with..."

And it does make my hair stand on end. Perhaps because I'm 3,000 miles away from her for the first time in my life, and I'm not in the South, and I'm not around people who make comments like that, I notice it more. I also think I'm a much more enlightened person having moved to the Pacific Northwest, and more comfortable in my liberalness.

But it pains me. I hate talking ANYTHING political with her because it always comes back to the blacks, and the welfare, and the poor, and the niggers and the this, and the that. I find it hillariously ironic because growing up, she was a single parent, working 3 jobs, unable to qualify for welfare, living below the poverty level, getting food from the food bank and me getting Christmas Presents because my name was on the "angel tree" at the local baptist church.

She forgets that in 1989, only the grace of God spared our family and our houses the wrath of Hurricane Hugo. That the only reason WE weren't at home, in a trailer, that was damaged by a tree that fell on it, was because my grandparents had a brick house on higher ground, and an RV with a gas generator to give us water, fuel, heat, and cool while the rest of the coastal area was without power for WEEKS after the storm.

When I reminded her of this information after Katrina, she, of course, responded with the "Yeah...well....:change subject:"

---

The last time I was around my Grandmother, in March, we (my husband, my granny, and I) some how got on the conversation of Gay Marriage. Nanny said she was against it. I asked why. She said "Because...ew...it's so GROSS" and I said that someone getting married wasn't an invitation for her to get into her sex life, and they probably think that straight sex is gross. Then she said "Well, they're SO promiscuous. They screw anyone they meet" and I countered that over 50% of marriages end in divorce, and that I have a feeling that gays do not have a monopoly on promiscuity. And again, with the irony--she has 2 daughers from 2 different men. For the longest time, my mother thought that her father was the same as her sister's father. Wrong-o. About 10 years ago, my grandmother informed my mom that the guy she thought was her dad really wasn't, it was another guy. Then about 5 years after that, she told my mom that it might not even be the OTHER guy, but another guy besides him. My grandmother has been married 3 times, divorced 2 times and now separated from my grandfather.

Yeah. Gays can't marry because they don't value committment to one person and are sexually promiscious. No, Nanny, Straights don't have a problem with that. Especially straights like you :eyes:

[Ladyhawk]

26. My mother believes all the same things yours does.

I've heard her say some pretty disgusting things, too. After 9-11, she said, "Now you know why we had to put the Japanese into concentration camps." She also used to say nasty things about gays, but when I changed, I let her have it a couple of times and she's evolved somewhat in that area. She says she still thinks they're doing bad things. :shrug:

I cut my mother out of my life for six months last year and it did me no end of good. When we re-established contact, boundaries actually worked for the first time ever!

I'm playing it by ear right now. It's hard because I have some personal issues with her as well. :( She can be very toxic, but she's not all bad. I love her and hate her with equal intensity and it just sucks ass. I wish things could be different.

I wish things could be different for you, too.

[Saboburns]

27. Your mother probably isn't a bigot.

She's just conditioned.

[Catherine Vincent]

28. um, did you actually call your mom a lying bitch

that's not nice :spank:

[DURHAM D]

29. Sounds way too familiar.

I love my mother but I don't like her. She too is a hateful right wing bigot. I moved to a different part of the country 40 years ago in order to regulate contact and to avoid having political discussions with her. I have met all family obligations and done all of the right things but, of course, it was never enough.

Anyway, stay in contact and develop close relationships with siblings and other members of the family because over time it will piss her off when she watches you interact with people you love and love you back and it will make her crazy when they begin to agree with you about political issues. Also, they will defend you when she is in attack mode. Eventually she will get it and want to be inside the circle, although that may come too late.

My mother has Alzheimers now and has become rather paranoid and difficult. She is alienating my father and siblings because they are now experiencing what I have already lived. My history with her helps me provide insight for other family members at this difficult time and surprisingly I have developed a close relationship with my immediate family for the first time.

[jazzjunkysue]

35. Amazing. We should fear gays and feel safe with rw'er's?

Amazing.

I wish I could say your Mother means well. But I doubt it.

[Flying Dream Blues]

36. My parents (esp my dad) is all into O'Lielly and Rush and

talks about "the liberal media" and how even Newsweek isn't a "legitimate" source for news. My mom is more reasonable, but still conservative. Even when my dad disagrees with me, though, he doesn't attack me or my beliefs. It's my sister that I can't stand. She doesn't know how to have a discussion...it is always an attack that gets personal real quick.

I can handle my parents not knowing any better (somewhat; they're old and I think more trusting of what they see and hear in general due to age) but it absolutely KILLS me that my own sister spews Rush hate and neo-con garbage at me when she should know better. (One of her best quotes: You're CRAZY if you think this war has anything to do with oil! And this is one of the "nice" ones...I can't repeat some of the hate stuff without feeling guilty writing it.)

I have told her in no uncertain terms that I will NEVER talk about politics with her again, and she finally gets it. I'm getting sick just writing this.

[mvd]

37. You have my sympathies

If my parents were right wingers, I really don't think I could live with them. I think you're better off keeping yourself at a distance as much as you can from your mom. Just stick to your obligations. It's hard, but that kind of thing can't be tolerated. Fortunately, my mom is a proud feminist and avid Democrat - and my dad is also an avid Democrat who has gotten more liberal with my influence. :hi: