'06 predictions - Will Durst

[kliljedahl]

'06 predictions
What's in store for Bush, Cheney, and Paris Hilton


It is the beginning of the new year: time for we average ink-stained wretches to trot out the tried but true "ye olde predictions" piece. The wretches that don't resort to trotting out the tried but true "ye olde resolutions" piece that is. Being the average traditionalist wretch with great respect for heritage that I am, (especially lacking any other fertile ideas whatsoever,) I am proud to honor this revered journalistic practice. Hence, I got your predictions for the new year right here. (Resolutions will show up the next time I get stuck for other fresh and bright ideas. In other words, soon.) Happy 2006 everybody.
IN THE YEAR 2006:

I predict George W. Bush will continue to cut programs to the poor and the old so that rich people can have more money. I also predict that through a series of tragic financial reversals, the 43rd President will die both poor and old. Because that's the way god would want it.

I predict Tom Delay will lose his Houston Congressional race to Conservative Democrat Nick Lampson, who lost his seat in '04 due to DeLay's redistricting scheme -- because that's also the way god would want it.

I predict this administration will break more laws, then conduct investigations into who told the press about the broken laws instead of investigating crimes being broken. Like blaming Toto for the Wizard of Oz's incompetence.

I predict Paris Hilton will hold a press conference to which no one will show up, and she will wither away like autumn leaves crushed by the tires of an 18-wheeler and blown away in a brisk breeze.

I predict Dick Cheney's face will freeze like that.

Keith’s Barbeque Central

[FSogol]

1. My fav: "I predict Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld will

engage in a bout of such verbal gobbledygook he will confuse himself and finally be forced to give a straight answer."

[number6]

3. I predict Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld will

face known knowns, known unknowns, and unknown unknowns
then he'll wave his hands around alot, fall on the floor
and spaz out .....

[kliljedahl]

2. Kick

Keith’s Barbeque Central

[kliljedahl]

4. Re-Kick

Keith’s Barbeque Central