Scott McClellan may be relieved of duties. Name Scotty's replacement.

[saltpoint]

Choose from 9 choices below as to a replacement for Scott McClellan as White House press secretary.

A 10th slot is for OTHER if you have a nomination not included in the first bunch of 9.

[astonamous]

1. Baghdad Bob. n/t

[wake.up.america]

4. "It's Howdy Doody time!"

"Say kids, What time is it?"

"It's Howdy Doody time!"

[astonamous]

25. Has Dennis Miller found another job? n/t

[David Zephyr]

98. Miller's down to "speaking" to small town GOP functions at Holiday Inns.

I love watching Miller's demise. It's the funniest work he's ever come up with and watching him pander to fundie nuts in motel "banquet rooms" is just about the most comedic thing he's ever done.

Appearing Live from the Freshly Wall-Papered Banquest Room at the Motel 6 in Downtown Waco: It's Dennis Miller.

[Bozita]

12. Baghdad Bob has already proved his loyalty -- What more could ...

... Bush want?

[Generic Other]

110. Baghdad Bob is my choice too

Helen Thomas would have great fun playing with him.

[DBoon]

36. yes!

nt

[saltpoint]

41. Baghdad Bob would be great. If we can ink deals that put the UAE

in charge of our ports, we can have Baghdad Bob field questions from the liberal media.

[Jack Rabbit]

57. Another vote for Baghdad Bob

Baghdad Bob would be perfect. Can't you imagine him on the Titanic? "This ship is unsinkable. Please remain calm. This ship is not sinking. Please re . . . blub! blub! gurgle!" That is what a Bush press spokesman must be able to in the next year or so he has left before President Pelosi takes office.

[mandyky]

103. Other - Bagdad Bob

gets another vote!

[johnfunk]

105. Another vote for the Bobster!

He's tan... he's rested... he's ready to spin!

[Imagine My Surprise]

2. Charles Nelson Reilly

[AllieB]

46. Isn't he dead?

:shrug:

[hatrack]

113. He'd probably still be better dead than Snotty M is alive

:toast:

[JeffR]

3. Mrs. Alito

If the press questions misAdministration policies, she'll just cry.

[saltpoint]

10. LOL! Yes. Uncontrolled weeping would be an excellent strategy

for fending off those rabid socialist reporters like Helen Thomas, etc.

Excellent suggestion.

[JeffR]

34. I was hoping Scottie would hang in until

He started weeping uncontrollably. Damn.

[0007]

127. I like the way you think kid!

[Lasher]

5. Jon Lovitz (EOM)

[Fridays Child]

26. Yes. Tommy Flanagan is a better liar than Scotty.

And that's pretty sad.

[jschurchin]

6. Where's Rush?

Come on, ole Oxycontin Limbaugh would make a great press secretary.

[saltpoint]

69. Sad to say, he probably would make a good press sec for Bush.

I don't think it's possible to find many more practiced, polished liars than Rush Limbaugh.

[sinkingfeeling]

7. GOD!!

[saltpoint]

16. On recommending that a graybeard come in to help the Bush

administration, you don't mess around.

Your guy's got one of the very grayest of all graybeards.

But the inside word is, he wouldn't take the job because he'd have to work with too many Satanic staffers.

[Fridays Child]

8. This guy...

[saltpoint]

58. Definitely on the short list. : )

[AndyA]

9. Keeping with the Bush Administration's current theme...

they'll want to put someone in that position with good people skills, someone who will earn the respect of the American people and the press corps quickly.

That's why I voted for Ann Coulter.

This would be a typical George Bush response.

:sarcasm:

[saltpoint]

21. Hi, AndyA. Ann would be the most confrotational press secretary ever.

I think the Q & A sessions would disintegrate into a wrestling match in less than three minutes.

But my god she'd be entertaining.

[havocmom]

42. The folks who thought Bolton would be fun at the UN would prolly love Ann

in a position to daily face off with the press. They would might even encourage her to bring that gun of hers and a case of beer. Under those conditions, maybe Chicken Hawk Dick would even drop by the gaggle now and then
:evilgrin:

[acmejack]

11. Phyllis!

I really like the Gorgon approach "In response to that question David Our position is LOOK AT THIS!

Think of all the free statuary for the Rose Garden as a bonus!

[saltpoint]

39. Yes. Phyllis would bring that all-important hysterical stridency

to the job that frankly Scotty never has been able to summon.

[kentuck]

13. Campbell Brown...

She's a new member of the family.

[Missy M]

14. Matt Drudge

[Wickerman]

15. Pat Robertson

or, is he too sane for this Administration?

[saltpoint]

17. Good question. He could definitely handle the foreign policy

questions without any prepping.

Chavez? Shoot him.

Kim Jung Il? Shoot him.

etc.

[Wickerman]

29. I hear he is good with money, too

particularly diamonds. He understands issues of tourism, what with his Jesus theme-park right smack dab in the Middle East.

[saltpoint]

38. : )

[otohara]

18. Wow, That's A Good LIst of People Who Are Willing To LIE

for the liars in the White House.

I choose Ken Mehlman - he's so combative and rude, the WH press corp might revolt.

[saltpoint]

23. Your'e right on Mehlman. With any luck, the press corps would

hang him up by his underpants on the Washington Monument.

[enid602]

19. Harris

I think Kathryn Harris would be perfect; she embodies the Bush Adminsitration tradition of honesty, candor and openness. And she has such great witchy facial expressions.

[enid602]

24. Jimmy-Jeff

No, not Harris. Gannon; it's got too be Gannon. Who else has so much experience screwing the public?

[saltpoint]

53. I think she'd be a hoot in that job, yes. But my sources tell me

she's holding out for the al Qaeda post vacated by Zarquawi over in Baghdad.

[SharonRB]

20. Jeff Gannon

[saltpoint]

27. : ) -- one of these days we're going to find out what Mr. Gannon

was doing on those dozens and dozens of visits to the White House.

And why isn't Ken Starr on the case already?

[deutsey]

22. Here's mine:

Squealer from "Animal Farm"

[saltpoint]

32. Reminds me just a bit of Marlin Fitzwater.

Very appropriate appointment.

[Binka]

28. Rajive Prithantha In Mumbai ( It's Cheaper To Outsource)

The WH brings outsourcing home to the Oval Office. The new minister of truthiness will now come to you via satellite feed from Mumbai. He'll be paid $5.75 an hour and he doesn't have to wear a silly hat!

[coffeenap]

30. Mike Malloy!! Truth from a real journalist! Aw, a girl can dream...nt

[saltpoint]

35. Can't see Josh Bolten extending the offer to Mike, but I'm with you

on how refreshing Malloy would be.

[Jade Fox]

31. If they can't find a leader for FEMA...

think how tough it's gonna be to fill this position! Talk about a thankless task.

[saltpoint]

37. Yeah. Although I heard Zarqawi is looking for work...

[Tesha]

33. Any of these guys...

Tesha

[saltpoint]

73. Hey, wait a minute, Tesha... isn't the third guy down Ari Fleischer?

[Tesha]

91. Well, Ari *WAS* the original "Mouth of Sauron"! (NT)

[Sydnie]

40. Karen Hughes

She is the minister of propoganda after all and she hasn't been too successful talking to anyone outside the US ... so, I think it will be Karen.

Perhaps they think the press would be gentler to her ... being she is a woman and all. :sarcasm:

[saltpoint]

43. Ah yes, Karen Hughes. I should have included her in the poll.

Loyalty and judgment must be at war in that woman, don't you think? She must be smarter than Dubya, but then again, there she is shilling for him in Egypt and Pakistan, etc.

What an odd duck.

[land of the free]

87. Hughes was my guess

She'll be Bushie & Rovie's choice, but I dunno if she'll take the gig.

My guess is that it'll be a young perky blonde woman who is good at lying. Sorta like most of the anchors on Fox and other cable networks these days.

[Sydnie]

114. Like Collin Powell/Scanlon's Amy?

Can't put that Genie back in the bottle can you?

[warrens]

44. One of those little battery-operated monkeys

That walk around in circles bashing cymbals. At least as effective as the last two press secretaries.

[saltpoint]

48. And a lot cuter, too. I'm for it.

[tiptoe]

45. Kaloogian's campaigning for da job: "NEW excuse re: fake Baghdad photo"

Franken: Kaloogian's NEW excuse re: fake Baghdad photo

(I prefer Ann Coulter. Imagine: Coulter constantly dodging cream pies at press briefings!! :silly: )

[saltpoint]

47. Not sure it's acceptabe to vote in your own poll, but it's less

reprehensible, isn't it, than warrantless wiretapping of U.S. citizens or torturing human beings in Guantanamo and Abu Ghraib and lying about it, so damn it all, I voted for Toby Keith.

White House Press Corps Reporter: "Toby, how wil the president respond if the UN fails to pass a resolution against Iran?

Toby Keith: "We'll kick their damn asses."

Etc.

[The Witch]

49. GUCKERTGANNON!!! n/t

[alfredo]

50. Pauly from the Sopranos

[saltpoint]

51. You got me laughing on that one, alfredo.

[alfredo]

83. He's a perfect fit for that gang of thugs in the west wing.

[Norquist Nemesis]

52. Chris Matthews!!! He's been practicing screen tests

since the 2001 Inauguration Day.

[saltpoint]

54. You know, NN, that has a haunting plausibility to it. Don't scare us

like that!

[lpbk2713]

55. This guy would make a good front man for BushCo

I know you are but what am I?

[saltpoint]

85. He might be overqualified. : )

Pee Wee does dress well, though.

And the press would probably like him a lot better than evil Ari and hapless Scott.

[beagle72]

56. Needs to be an ambidextrous liar

A lot of people are nominating strong partisan folks, but to really excel at White House spokesperson you need to be able and willing to lie about anything, whether you believe it or not. Administrations left and right flip flop all the time. A good flunky spokesman won't bat an eye at doing the 180. The job requires a special kind of soullessness lacking in most partisans or others with a functioning moral compass.

[saltpoint]

61. You're right. But it's tough to find a genuine nihilist.

I think McClellan's greatest obstacle to success in his job is that deep, deep down, he's probably a decent guy who just totally tsunami'd but DC power politics. He doesn't know enouhg about the truth to lie about it well.

[Kerri_S]

65. Here's a suggestion...

Ted Nugent. LOL!

[saltpoint]

68. I can almost see ol' Ted snarling at the press corps, too. Yes.

[Kerri_S]

72. Ooops....

I wasn't really looking when I posted. That was supposed to be a reply to the general question.

[saltpoint]

79. HI, Kerri S. S'alright. I liked it anyhow.

[wurzel]

59. I thought Fox News already had the job!

[saltpoint]

62. FFFox News. Exactly as you say. The president's mouthpiece.

Whenever KKKarl Rove want a paticular spin, FFFox News gets the call.

[Sinistrous]

60. Hannibal Lector

He is brilliant, eloquent, and utterly lacking in moral scruples. A true soulmate for the bush administration.

Too bad he is a fictional character.

Sinistrous

[saltpoint]

63. But IS he?

Your description really matches Jim Baker's temperament and resume pretty well.

[ThomWV]

64. Jon Stewart

[Beelzebud]

66. This poll is useless without Baghdad Bob as a choice! :D

[saltpoint]

74. Baghdad Bob is doing really well as a write-in, though.

Freedom's on the march, etc.

[onenote]

67. tough call: Pinocchio or Triumph the Insult Dog

[saltpoint]

75. Either one would likely be a vast improvement over the previous two.

Ari and Scotty just sucked. They sucked for different reasons, but they still sucked.

[Mz Pip]

70. Katherine Harris

The bimbo is going to need a job soon. Let her do what she does best - shill for BushCo.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[saltpoint]

77. I wonder if Katherine Harris has any acting talent. Because she would

make a great 'Martha' in Albee's WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF."

[Media_Lies_Daily]

71. Osama Bin Laden...after all, he is a friend of the Family.

[DearAbby]

76. Ron Silverman?

"DON'T HURT ME!"

[Earth_First]

78. Joe Lieberman?

He talks out both sides of his mouth...

[saltpoint]

81. Joe is concentrating on his re-election to the Senate, but maybe Ned

Lamont will free Joe's schedule up after that primary...

There's also a possiblity that Rumsfeld will FINALLY step down and Joe would be appointed in his stead.

Lieberman actually has the demeanor of a White House press secretary.

[Mr_Spock]

82. Oh, wise guy

boink! take that!

[Mr_Spock]

80. Oh please let it be Mann!!

:D

[saltpoint]

84. The sparks would indeed fly.

[Skidmore]

86. Ed Gillespie, the chinless wonder, will be dusted off

and stuck out front to shoot his mouth off. Mark my words.

[saltpoint]

88. I'd heard Ed's name kicked around for the post, Skidmore, and so I

think that he's a leading contender.

I wonder if he'll take it. Maybe he will in exchange for party support and backing for some future run at high office -- governor or senator or something...

It's going to get interesting.

[robertpaulsen]

89. Gonna have ZELL to pay!

Every press conference will have the word "spitball" in it!

[saltpoint]

92. It would be kind of fun to watch ol' Zell doing his enraged galoot thing

on national tv.

He gave a rousing anti-GHW Bush speech at the 1992 convention, but he Nazi'd out and works for the dark side these days.

[RedG1]

90. Bill O'LIE-ly...

the spin stops here <snicker>

[saltpoint]

93. Would relish a chance to hear the White House press corps have at this

guy.

Under the questioning and scrutiny of keener journalists, I think Bill would blow his stack and stomp off almost immediately after taking the job.

I don't think he could handle being a responsible journalist. Lies make him lazy.

[MurrayDelph]

94. How about Sgt. Schultz?

"I see nuthink! I know nuthink!"

(edited to remove the links that wouldn't come up)

[saltpoint]

99. Well, why not? He'd be no less believable than Ari and Scotty,

and he's already in the same political party, too!

[DanCa]

95. Gumby?

Why not replace one spineliness cartoon character with another?

[Rosie1223]

96. Joe Isuzu

"you have my word on it"

[saltpoint]

101. Rosie, Joe Isuzu would be just about perfect. I haven't seen him

on any car ads for some time now... not even sure Isuzu is still made.

Anyway, if Joe is out of work, and the press secretary position is coming open, you've suggested the right man for the right time.

[imax2268]

97. Britney Spears...

remember she trusts him no matter what he does...

[saltpoint]

100. That's true. I remember her saying that. Ought to be worth something

in the hiring process...

JOKE: What's the difference between a porn movie and a Britney Spears video?

ANSWER: The porn movie has better music.

[kcwayne]

102. A Whoopee Cushion

The sounds emanating from the microphone will be the same.

[saltpoint]

111. And probably more to the point than what McClellan usually spews.

McClellan evidently doesn't realize his deceptions are so visible.

It's hard to tell if he thinks he is perceived as a flunkie.

[FrenchieCat]

104. Prison Matron and Bush Confident........Karen Hughes!

She's big, she's evil, and she can lie all the while looking like a Texas soccer mom.

The other one might be Tory Clark. She is sooo confused though, she might not make it past the first day!

[saltpoint]

126. O god I forgot about Tory Clark! She is well-positioned for that

job, at least from the point of view of the Bush White House.

This sounds pretty serious, FrenchieCat. I just bet Tory is a contender for the post.

Good eye, good ear, good keen intuition on this one.

[psychopomp]

106. Don King

:rofl: :rofl:

[saltpoint]

108. psychopomp, your suggestion won a ROAR of laughter from an

assembled group in my house.

Don King would be awesome!

[Neil Lisst]

107. Marc Racicot

[saltpoint]

109. Neil Lisst, you have put up the name of someone who might truly be

considered.

I'm no fan of the Montanan but he is probably the sort of candidate Bolten would contact, perhaps to get a short list from Racicot, and then perhaps to goo on and hire him, something like the way Dubya "hired" Dick Cheney after asking Cheney to head up the VP search.

Deft nomination. Bravo.

[Neil Lisst]

117. thanks. Bush will want to pull in someone he's even closer to than Scott

and someone with more presence, more moxy, less of a chunky punching bag

There are some stories out there about these two guys that go way, way back, and they are hair-raising, is all I'm gonna say.

Thick as thieves, yall.

[saltpoint]

118. "Thick as thieves" gets to the heart of it immediately.

:thumbsup:

[Neil Lisst]

120. so you've heard, too

Alaska, 1971-1974?

[saltpoint]

123. Apologies, but I'm not sure what you mean.

I'm all ears, especially if it's info that throws a major Republican into a questionable light.

Hit me, bartender.

[Neil Lisst]

125. something about flying small planes from maybe Alaska to

other places and back

maybe both of them involved

I don't really know. They may or may not have been involved in anything shady, but I heard some things ...

[saltpoint]

128. Well, I'm willing to believe it. The modern-day GOP is as far from

the spirit and stature of Lincoln as a roach is from Jupiter.

It's very interesting. If you stumble onto any updates down the road, weigh in. It has all the makings of a compelling connection.

[AnnieBW]

112. Jeff Gannon!

He's so adept at making stuff up!

[misternormal]

115. I think Simon should do the auditions

[Bozita]

116. I vote for Tom DeLay because of his charisma

[saltpoint]

119. LOL.

[Mountainman]

121. Joseph Goebbels' ghost

[saltpoint]

124. Well, the ideological alignment would be a piece of cake...

I bet the ghost of Herr Goebbels would field questions about Abu Ghraib very ably.

[bemildred]

122. Katie Couric. nt

[saltpoint]

131. I wonder if Katie Couric would give up all that new CBS dough to

shill for Dubya?

Not saying she wouldn't be able to do the job, but the salary difference must be huge.

I bet she has her eyes on the CBS check, and I'm not sure I blame her. Lying for this administration must be a pretty stressful undertaking.

[doc03]

129. Homer Simpson

[saltpoint]

132. Hi, doc03. Probably a lot of people would prefer Homer Simpson

as a White House press secretary.

He'd have to get him some new duds, though.

Somethin' snazzy.

[Swamp Rat]

130. Hans Fritzsche, Jr.

Heil Bushler!

[grateful581]

133. a inanimate carbon rod

It would give as much information as Scott did

[saltpoint]

134. You're definitely right about it giving more info than Scotty.

And I like anybody who's opposed to Orrin Hatch, too.