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erpowers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:31 PM
Original message
Teacher Having Sex with Student
There has been another female teacher caught having sex with a student. In the latest case a 34 year old teacher is accused of having had a week long affair with a 13 year old student while allowing another student watch the sex at on at least on occasion. What do people think is happening? Why are these women chosing to have sex with their students?
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Occulus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:33 PM
Response to Original message
1. Oh my.
Edited on Wed Apr-05-06 12:33 PM by kgfnally
:popcorn:

I have no idea what's happening, and I'm not sure I want to venture a guess....

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WI_DEM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:35 PM
Response to Original message
2. with all the publicity other cases have received they sure are
taking a chance.
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Nabia2004 Donating Member (566 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:58 PM
Response to Reply #2
26. deleted
Edited on Wed Apr-05-06 01:02 PM by Nabia2004
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tularetom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
3. Not to make light of the situation
but where were these teachers 50 years ago?
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400Years Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:38 PM
Response to Reply #3
7. someone is going to come along and act all outraged at your humor

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TomInTib Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:43 PM
Response to Reply #3
14. Yeah, I have often thought the same.
One of my teachers was runner-up to Miss Texas.

Man, I could barely think. Much less learn anything.
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melody Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:51 PM
Response to Reply #3
21. Paul McCartney had this experience with a teacher - he's 64
That was about fifty years ago. James Dean was molested by a pastor. That was over fifty years ago.

Neither man ever reported it. I suspect boys may be less inclined to do so because they aren't received as victims, but as victors.
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Yupster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 07:25 PM
Response to Reply #21
73. Probably right
It probably happened just as much or more in the past, but no boy would ever report it. Today boys are more likely to report it.
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Nabia2004 Donating Member (566 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #3
33. The dreams I had about my 7th grade teacher...
Forty years ago and I still have fond memories of what never was.

She was so hot...
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Art_from_Ark Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 10:31 PM
Response to Reply #33
89. One of my high school teachers (female)
liked to talk about "Wet T-shirt night".

Ah, the joys of growing up in a society that wasn't being strangled by the ghost of Oliver Cromwell...
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Atmashine Donating Member (476 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:36 PM
Response to Original message
4. It's spring.
lol. sorry. I mean this isn't a laughing matter. Mostly.
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Jane Austin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:37 PM
Response to Original message
5. Watching Desperate Housewives? Porn Movies where a stranger comes to the
door and . . . .
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:51 PM
Response to Reply #5
60. That's bidness, to Neil Bush!
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Jane Austin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:56 PM
Response to Reply #60
62. Most people don't realize that those pious Marriotts, father and son,
are among the biggest purveyors of porn in the country.

They make a fortune on "Adult" movies on their hotel TeeVees.

I used to like staying at Marriotts, but their channel selection never has C-Span or Comedy Central.

I think the selection is limited so you'll go buy their movies.

They are BIG Republicans and prominent members of their church.
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KingFlorez Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:38 PM
Response to Original message
6. Kids aren't safe with anyone anymore
Not even teachers.
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bigscott Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:40 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. my son is 13
he would be more interested in shooting hoops with his teachers right now - or at least that is what he tells me!! thank god we had the birds and bees talk (OK actually the sperm and egg and condom and respect talk but you know....)
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LostinVA Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:41 PM
Response to Reply #6
10. I don't think it's necessarily "anymore"
I believe this behavior -- and behavior by ministers/rabbis/priests -- has always been going on. Now, the kids are actually telling someone about it, and it's also more widely reported.

The same with kids being abducted.
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slide to the left Donating Member (602 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #10
30. When will the same thing happen with rape
and date rape.
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Radio_Guy Donating Member (875 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:29 PM
Response to Reply #30
57. Hopfully soon
All rape must be reported and all rapists must be dealt with harshly.
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slide to the left Donating Member (602 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 10:04 AM
Response to Reply #57
79. Want to start a campaign with me?
I have always wanted to start a Public Service campaign about reporting rapes.
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Radio_Guy Donating Member (875 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 10:07 AM
Response to Reply #79
80. Sure
We could record some PSAs and e-mail them to radio stations everywhere.
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lukasahero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:49 PM
Response to Reply #6
18. I think that assumption could have been made when we realized
they were no longer safe with priests.
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LWolf Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 09:52 PM
Response to Reply #6
86. Kids are safe with me.
And I'm a teacher. Please do not lump the vast majority of teachers with people who aren't "safe," regardless of profession. It's a human dysfunction, not a professional.

If your statement is correct, then it's also correct to say that kids aren't safe with parents anymore, either.

In my experience, more kids aren't safe with parents than aren't safe with teachers. Should we lump all parents into that group?
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LifeDuringWartime Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-07-06 03:44 PM
Response to Reply #6
92. reminds me of a south park episode
the media and citizens of the town overreact to a similar case to this. eventually they mistrust eachother to the point of sending the kids out on their own to live in the woods.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:40 PM
Response to Original message
8. Female teachers, male students.
Maybe it always did happen, but the boys never saw it as something to complain about?

It never happened to me, but if it had I don't think I'd have complained, 40 years ago.
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tenshi816 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:57 PM
Response to Reply #8
24. That's my guess.
When I was a senior in high school, there was a new English teacher who arrived that September. She was very attractive and the boys all went crazy for her - not a surprise since she was only about 22 and it was her first teaching job. Some of the boys she was teaching were 17 and 18 years old, and word quickly got around that this teacher was very flirtatious with them. I remember her wearing very tight sweaters and short skirts with high heels, and no, the boys didn't complain at all.

When school started back up in January after the Christmas break, she was gone. A woman teacher I had great respect for told me years later at a class reunion that she (the young teacher) was dismissed because she was a "disruptive influence" and hadn't yet learned that there were "lines that can't be crossed." She wouldn't elaborate beyond that though.

So, yes, I think this sort of thing has always gone on.
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slide to the left Donating Member (602 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:03 PM
Response to Reply #24
32. I am teaching in the fall
And I am 23. Not gonna lie, I am kinda cute. I am really nervous about boy flirting with me. What do you do? Just ignore them? (being for real)
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Spinzonner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:25 PM
Response to Reply #32
40. Tell them thanks for the compliment

and tell them you're not interested and that it would be inappropriate.

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file83 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:35 PM
Response to Reply #40
42. "Accepting the compliment" should only happen if the student
Edited on Wed Apr-05-06 01:36 PM by file83
says something sexually neutral like "You look nice today."

But if the student says something like "You have nice legs." - you send them straight to the principle's office. Do not pass GO. Do not collect a "Thank you".
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Spinzonner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:40 PM
Response to Reply #42
43. I think an admonition is appropriate in that case

I don't like escalating things right off the bat with serious consequences. More suggestive, aggressive, or overtly sexual statements or actions would merit such a reaction, however.
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:55 PM
Response to Reply #40
61. Just remember: He's insulting you. He's putting you on his level,
Edited on Wed Apr-05-06 03:56 PM by WinkyDink
first, and second, he's assuming you're the "type" to like being flattered.

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Nederland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:28 PM
Response to Reply #32
49. Don't Smile
I ran into a high school teacher of mine about 15 years after I graduated and had a nice little heart to heart chat about what it was really like to be a teacher. The one thing I remember her saying was that the key to maintaining discipline in the classroom was not to smile for the first half of the year. Never let the kids think, even for a moment, that you are soft.

Might seem a bit extreme, but you can take it for whatever it's worth to you.
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Yupster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 07:31 PM
Response to Reply #49
76. True to an extent
Discipline and classroom management is a bout 100 % of the success or failure of a first year teacher.

It's a lot easier to ease off than it is to tighten up, so start tough. The first week hope someone twists off just so you can sdemonstrate your fast, furious and final discipline.

By the way if anyone is interested,

Fast means the discipline should closely follow the offense time wise.

Furious means the discipline should be enough to teach the young man/woman that you are to be taken seriously.

Final means that once the student's been disciplined, the issue is closed and npo grudges are held.
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tenshi816 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:11 PM
Response to Reply #32
54. Teaching adolescents?
Be friendly but professional at all times, and try not to be alone with boys if you can help it. That was part of the problem with the new young woman teacher at my high school. She was brand-new on the job and only 4-5 years older than some of the boys she taught, and she didn't draw that line between student and teacher. Don't make the mistake she did of dressing too sexily for school and don't ever, ever flirt with a student and I'm sure you'll be fine.

Teaching is one of the hardest and most under-appreciated professions in the world (along with nurses). Good teachers are like gold dust and if it was within my power, they'd all get at least a 1000% raise immediately. Good luck to you.
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bmbmd Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:18 PM
Response to Reply #32
56. My wife is a lovely woman, and a good teacher.
She's just mean as a snake sometimes. That seems to deter the ardor of many a junior high Lochinvar.
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SPKrazy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 06:06 PM
Response to Reply #32
67. You Tell Them It Is Inappropriate
and be the grown up

otherwise, you aren't ready to teach
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Yupster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 07:27 PM
Response to Reply #32
74. Don't ever meet with an individual
student, especially with your door closed.
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lumberjack_jeff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 09:29 PM
Response to Reply #32
82. I find the question interesting
What would the advice be to a male teacher who asks the same question?

My guess: "Those aren't girls flirting with you, they're students. From a romantic perspective, they're not real people. You're a grownup and in a position of authority."

I think it's a good all-purpose answer.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #32
87. two of the best lessons you can teach are boundaries and respect.
If the boys say that you look nice, I'd suggest saying "thank you" in a neutral tone and then moving on to a better subject.

If the boys say anything sexual, I suggest curtly shutting them down. If they persist, handle those boys the same way any sexual harassers would be handled.

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TrogL Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-07-06 04:43 PM
Response to Reply #32
93. Talk to the principal and your professional organization
There are strict rules.

You can also cite the sexual harassment policy.
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demosincebirth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:59 PM
Response to Reply #8
28. Amen to that!
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The2ndWheel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:41 PM
Response to Original message
11. Same reasons as male teachers
because they're hot.

Or they want a future in porn.

Why does anyone have sex with anyone? Power, attraction, money, some combination of the three. It's not like it's a new thing. I'm sure teacher/student relationships happened in ancient Greece too. With all the robes...I mean, come on...
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erpowers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #11
19. Ancient Greece/Rome
I have heard that in ancient Greece and Rome this in fact did happen and was not looked down upon. I have heard that male tutors of young men would have sex with the boys. It seems that people during this time felt this helped the boy become a man. I have never heard about female tutors having sex with their students. That might be because it may have been hard for a women to get an education at that time.
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The Stranger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:42 PM
Response to Original message
12. It would appear that when women are liberated,
they run the risk of behaving like men.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:50 PM
Response to Reply #12
20. WTF?
What a ridiculous and unsupportable statement. I hope you're kidding!
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The2ndWheel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:59 PM
Response to Reply #20
29. Why would a woman in a position of power be different
than a man? Couldn't a female CEO of a company outsource just as many jobs as a male? Couldn't a female President choose to go to war? Couldn't a black CEO move a plant to Mexico?

It wasn't my statement, so I don't know if the poster was kidding, but to me it makes sense. To me it's not as if it's insulting the act of liberating someone from an established social hierarchy, as much as it's just a realization that human beings are bascially the same, and when put into a situation, can have the same results, regardless of color, nationality, religion, gender, whatever.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:12 PM
Response to Reply #29
35. Males and females are not the same.
Edited on Wed Apr-05-06 01:17 PM by Fridays Child
"Liberated" or otherwise, women are not wired to behave sexually, in the same way that men behave. That's what makes these cases so strange.

Edited to add that, as a career choice for women, teaching K-12 schoolchildren greatly predates the contemporary feminist movement. These are NOT women in positions that have ever been considered powerful.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:18 PM
Response to Reply #35
37. I'm sorry but you're wrong...
no one can really tell whether men and women are wired differently because it's impossible to untangle our "wiring" from millenia of rigidly enforced gender roles and stereotypes.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:00 PM
Response to Reply #37
44. Actually, over the last decade, or so...
...a lot of very good "untangling" has been done. I'm not inclined to dig out the studies for this thread but the subject of gender differences in sexual behavior is one of the primary focuses of evolutionary psychology.

Men and women are very different creatures, chemically and biologically. It's been said that their similarities end at being members of the same species. And the rigidly enforced gender roles and stereotypes of which you speak spring from these differences. The veneer of culture lies very thin over hard-wired behavioral prerogatives.

I don't believe for one minute that women are incapable of predatory behavior. There's always a good amount of overlap in the area of human behavior. So, IF this is, indeed, a new trend, it's very interesting, especially given what is understood about behavior.

By the way, I also think that women can and should be leaders. In fact, as an early reader of the work done by Rianne Eisler, I believe that, before the advent of writing and recorded history, women led most societies. So, if women should adhere to traditional roles, it should be recognized that community leadership is one of those roles.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:18 PM
Response to Reply #44
47. I could pull out just as many studies...
Edited on Wed Apr-05-06 02:19 PM by VelmaD
that prove the reverse - that there is more variation among women as a group and among men as a group than there is between the "average" man and woman on just about any factor, physical, mental, or emotional, that one would care to try to measure.

The point no one should have to adhere to a pre-determined role. And any time you base your argument on men or women are "hard-wired" that way...you're on slippery ground and you're playing into the hands of those who would use claims of hard-wiring to keep women (and men for that matter) from being the person they really are.

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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:35 PM
Response to Reply #47
50. I'll take my chances with science, thanks. eom
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:41 PM
Response to Reply #50
51. Appently only if...
it's science that you agree with. What. Ever.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #51
70. No. Only if it's science that adheres to the proper method of inquiry.
See "scientific method." :eyes:
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antigone382 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 10:42 PM
Response to Reply #50
90. I'll take my chances with the science, too...
Edited on Thu Apr-06-06 10:44 PM by antigone382
that is, the science I've been researching for the last year that indicates that what you're saying is inaccurate. Evolutionary psychology tends to favor bioligically based sex-differences...of course it does! Evolutionary psychology approaches the human mind from the framework of inherent biology and genetics in the first place, so it's only natural (no pun intended) that any human behavior being studied from that paradigm is likely to be interpreted as a hard-wired trait.

But evolutionary psychology does not have the last word--in fact the truth is that a lot of it uses circular reasoning; but I won't get into that now. Social psychologists approach human behavior from an entirely different angle, and naturally tend to favor the theory that sex-differences are based more on social pressures and cultural influences than biology. I would point you to research which has found that the "intuitive" qualities attributed to women are found in any person who plays the subordinate role in a relationship, whether it is a wife to her husband or an employee to his or her boss. I'd also point you to a study conducted on six-month-old infants which found that there was no sex-difference in their mathematical skills at that age (and yes, you can test the mathematical skills of a six-month-old).

And these are just the tip of the iceberg. If you'd like, I could point you to a dozen or more articles in accredited, peer-reviewed psychological journals that find the biologically-based differences between men and women are minimal at best--and that their importance is diminished even further when you consider that the differences within each gender are far greater than the differences between them.

Now, am I saying that biology has absolutely no effect on sex differences? No--to categorically deny that biology has any role whatsoever to play in this issue would be as erroneous as to categorically insist that it does. What I'm saying is that our society plays the biology card way too much when talking about gender. This is damaging to both sexes. In this case it is damaging to young boys who are molested by women who because of gender stereotypes aren't seen for the predators that they are. But generally, it is more damaging to women, as it tends to validate prejudices, double standards, and stereotypes that still exist in what we'd like to think of as our equitable society.
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The2ndWheel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:24 PM
Response to Reply #35
39. But they can behave sexually
right?

Every woman isn't wired the same as every other woman in regards to sex either, just like men. Some can be more sexually agressive. Some can control their urges better.

I'm not saying the number of females is the same number as males, but given the freedom to have that type of power, it couldn't not happen. Not saying it's an epidemic though.
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The Stranger Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:30 PM
Response to Reply #39
41. You have explained it much better than I.
Thanks for the eloquence.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:08 PM
Response to Reply #39
45. To say that women can behave sexually doesn't mean that...
...that their sexual behavior is typical of men's. It's not, and they are wired differently (see #44). And where is this power in being a school teacher that you keep referring to? Do teachers have control of children? Yes, but women have always had control of children--their own and others. Teachers hold no special positions of status or power in any male-dominant hierarchy. They never have.
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The2ndWheel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #45
58. In general, no
Some woman do behave like some men when it comes to sex. Obviously some women will have sex with their students.

There is power in being a teacher. Just because that position has never held a status in a male-dominant hierarchy, doesn't mean that there isn't power in that position. Male teachers who have sex with their students hold that power, as do the female teachers. You can manipulate the student with that job. You're with them basically everyday, so you can learn their personality.

"Yes, but women have always had control of children--their own and others."

Yeah, and some take advantage of that.

What do you think is going on then? If the women are wired so differently, and they're teachers, why is this all of a sudden such a big problem? Are the students in control of the situation? Is the 13 or 14 year old demanding sex from the teacher? It could be blackmail, but I doubt it. What is the student going to do, say you better have sex with me, or I'm telling the principal? If you're not having sex with the student, but then do because they threaten to tell the principal that you are, that would be a bit crazy.

That's where the power of being a teacher, someone in authority, comes in. They could say have sex with me, or I'm telling your parents you passed a note in class, or got in a fight, or did this or that, etc.

I'm not bashing women. I'm not saying we should go back to pre-1920 days. I don't mean to generalize if I've done that. Some women will take advantage of their position of power/authority. Be it for sex, more money, this and that, just as some men do. Wired differently or not, every woman isn't exactly the same, just as every human isn't. That's why I said we're basically the same. When you break us all down to the basics, some are more agressive, some more passive. Some are women, some are men. Some are tall, some are short. The majority of women are shorter than men, but there are some very tall women.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 06:04 PM
Original message
Setting aside the issues upon which we probably won't agree...
...the first question is whether female teachers sexually asaulting their students is a developing problem. Second, if it is, why is it happening? I just don't have those answers. Anomalies are to be expected. Trends are more puzzling but usually yield their secrets, given enough scientific scrutiny.
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lumberjack_jeff Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 09:37 PM
Response to Reply #45
83. So a male teacher who has sex with his female students...
... is not using the status and power conferred by his position of authority?

I have a follow-on question, assuming you answer as I expect.

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Odin2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:17 PM
Response to Reply #35
46. Popcorn Time!
I'd get a flame suit if I were because the crazy blank slaters who think "all gender roles are cultural" are going to start attacking you real quick.

Male and Female brains are wired differently, anyone who disputes that is putting ideology ahead of science.
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VelmaD Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:22 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. But the science cannot determine whether...
the brain differences are inherent are a result of interaction with the environment post-birth. The fact is that most brain development happens AFTER a baby is born and from the second a child enters this world it gets treated differently based on its gender. For example, studies have shown that boy babies are moved around in space (bounced, tossed up in the air, etc) much more than girls and that girl babies are talked to more. Not too hard to figure out how that might affect which parts of the brain develop more.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 05:55 PM
Response to Reply #46
65. Well!
There is a voice of sanity around here, after all! :D
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erpowers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 06:07 PM
Response to Reply #35
68. That's Bullshit
Now that is bullshit. Women are wired to behave sexually just like men. The only problem is that women have been taught that if they do at sexually there will be consequences. If a women decides to have sex with more than one man she is called a whore. If a women gets raped one of the first things people say ask is how was she acting or what was she wearing, as if the way a women acts or what she wears gives a man the right to rape her. Women are criticized so much for the sexual decisions they make that some of them decide not to act on some wants. Men; however' very seldom have any consequences when sex is involved.

I know I am the person who started this post; however, it is not the sex that surprises me it is the sex with someone so young. I know that women cheat on men and sleep with multiple men. The thing that I question is why do so many older women now seem to be sleeping with such young men. It seems to me that these women would want older men who are more mature both personality wise and physical wise. Yes I am talking about penis size.
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Fridays Child Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 06:13 PM
Response to Reply #68
72. Wrong. We are chemically and biologically VERY different.
Facts matter.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 09:19 PM
Response to Reply #35
81. I wonder if you said what you said or what you think you said.
A comma makes all the difference.

"Liberated" or otherwise, women are not wired to behave sexually, in the same way that men behave.

does not say the same thing as

"Liberated" or otherwise, women are not wired to behave sexually in the same way that men behave.

Some of the responders read it as "women are not wired to behave sexually"

Others read it as "women are not wired ti behave the same way men behave"

The purpose of the second amendment to the constitution is to teach us to be careful about the placement of commas.
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Tsiyu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #35
88. I'm sorry, but the research doesn't back you up on this.
Edited on Thu Apr-06-06 10:27 PM by buddyhollysghost
I would suggest reading the research of Janet Shipley Hyde, who has compiled decades of meta-analyses on the subject of inherent sex differences and found that in over 78% of properly conducted studies, such differences were either entirely absent, or so small as to be statistically insignificant. You might also want to read Carol Tavris's 1992 book The Mismeasure of Woman. In spite of its age, it is still an enormously valuable resource when examining the veracity of biological sex differences in cognition and behavior.

I don't really see why people are so surprised when some women exhibit the same predatory behavior that some men do. At this point, males are more likely to commit these types of acts because they have greater power--both in terms of their physical strength and their social power and resources. But in a truly equitable society, I have no doubt that this behavior would occur at equal levels in both genders...though hopefully in such a society it would be dealt with swiftly, strongly, and appropriately.

Edit: posting under Mom's username again...this is antigone382
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BOSSHOG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:42 PM
Response to Original message
13. Maybe this isn't a new phenomenon
just one that is getting more publicity as it is harder and harder to hide such activity.

The only physicial activity I had with my female teachers were Nuns slapping me about for no apparent reason except to unleash their sexual repression. I was ten at the time and did not figure that out until years later.
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Jose Diablo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:55 PM
Response to Reply #13
23. I think I was about 22 when the swelling on my knuckles finally went down
n/t
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shain from kane Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:01 PM
Response to Reply #13
31. Shark week. n/t
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Xithras Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:44 PM
Response to Original message
15. It's not new.
There are over 300 million people in this country, the third most populous nation in the world. With that many people, there are bound to be a few freaks. Even if only 1 in every 100,000 people did it, that still works out to over 3,000 of these people nationwide.

What's changed is the way we react to it. Twenty years ago, a woman caught sleeping with a student would have been quietly arrested, done a minimal amount of time in prison, and would have been let go. If it made the press at all, it would have only been the local paper...or perhaps the local TV news if it happened in a larger city. Nowadays it's broadcast coast to coast and becomes a lead story on a half dozen cable enws stations for a week straight.

It's like kidnapping and child molesters. Technically they are no more prevalent today than they were 20, 30, or even 50 years ago. Their numbers have increased along with the general population, but the biggest difference is that you HEAR about it more today. Because people don't remember hearing about this sort of thing a few decades ago, they assume that it's happening more.
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RaleighNCDUer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:06 PM
Response to Reply #15
34. Yer right. In fact, back in the 80s I had a girlfriend who had lost
her job because she had an affair with a student. No arrest. No trial. Just told to leave town. As I remember, she didn't even lose her teacher's credentials, though because she moved out of state, from where she was to where I met her, she was not certified to teach at her new residence.

Times have changed. People haven't.
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Yupster Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 07:35 PM
Response to Reply #15
77. One of my favorite statistics is
if you are an American with a face that's a one in a million, then 300 other people look just like you do.
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RagingInMiami Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
16. I wonder if this is a new trend
Or has it always happened and it's just now getting reported.
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NorCalDem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:46 PM
Response to Original message
17. Yet for some reason when the news was talking about child molesters
last night they NEVER ONCE referred to a perpetrator as "she." I was starting to laugh because apparently (at least according to CNN, MSNBC, Fox, etc.) only men can be child molesters. I know that the majority of them probably are, but how many unreported cases like the one above go without notice because the young boy doesn't care that he's sleeping with an older women. We should be honest and accept that both men and women can molest children and apparently it's happening quite often!
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Jose Diablo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:51 PM
Response to Original message
22. "Why are these women choosing to have sex with their students?"
It's the milk, growth hormones fed to cows to increase milk production is causing sexual maturity at a much a earlier age. Think of it as belated cows revenge against human exploitation.

As for the teachers? Did she drink a lot of milk too? Or maybe loved thick juicy steaks cooked rare? Hormones do can do unusual things. What sort of things are going on in our schools? It's enough for me to want to go to a parent/teachers conference, meet the teachers, but I don't have children, sigh.

I thought it was lustful when I was young. Gosh.
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libnnc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
25. It went on when I was in high school
It happened when my mother and her sisters were in high school too. It happened in our small town more than once and way back "in the good old days".

My driver's ed teacher had an affair with his Math teacher (one of my aunt's very best friends) when he was in high school--even lived with the woman for a few months. It was the talk of the town. She was quickly fired and he got a football scholarship. This was back in the early '70s. He then came back to teach at his alma mater (my HS) in the '80s. I'm sure he carried on affairs with his female students (especially the cheerleaders).

Nothing new about it.
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LSK Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 12:58 PM
Response to Original message
27. more programming for FOXNEWS
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BlooInBloo Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:16 PM
Response to Original message
36. Sorry to those that hate all such things...
But I woulda done it back at that age in a heartbeat with several of my teachers - if i'd'a had the chance...

I'll admit - I'm almost completely double-standard about it - I really DO think it's different for boys than for girls - generally at least - there may be exceptions in individual cases, of course.

The kids & marriage thing goes a bit far tho...

What makes a woman find such a kid attractive is COMPLETELY beyond me - lol

Does anyone remember that SNL weekend news skit where Tina Fey and the blonde were talking about how attractive teenaged boys are? (Sarcastic of course) ROFL That's what these stories always remind me of...
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Tsiyu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Apr-07-06 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #36
91. What is beyond you can be explained in your first statement
only the heartbeat belongs to someone else.

Some adults choose to exploit children. Some are male, some are female. I would imagine that female predators are reported less often, but I wouldn't say that a male child would be less scarred from too-early sexual experience based on your enthusiasm.
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Shine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 01:22 PM
Response to Original message
38. Ewww...I have no idea, but it's creepy.
my son will be 13 this fall and luckily right now he's still grossed out by the thought of girls.

That will change soon, I know. :D
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Fleshdancer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 02:42 PM
Response to Original message
52. The scary thing is....
this may not be an increase of teachers having sex with students but just an increase of teachers getting caught. The good news is that there's a lot of publicity surrounding these situations so hopefully more victims are encouraged to speak out about it.

As for why this is happening, well I don't know. I don't personally understand hebophilia or pedophilia but it makes sense for people who are attracted to teens or kids to choose professions that would allow them easier access.

:shrug:
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Blue_Tires Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:10 PM
Response to Original message
53. it's a very disturbing trend
Edited on Wed Apr-05-06 03:17 PM by Blue_Tires
and it never stops making me cringe with disgust....breaches of trust like this need to be stopped

I mean honestly, are you THAT fucking desperate to have something between your legs that you have to resort to this? Might I suggest a perfectly reasonable erotica shop...
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bunkerbuster1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:14 PM
Response to Original message
55. This is VERY IMPORTANT and VERY NEW.
Adults haven't ever preyed on children before.

I suggest you post some more about it! Start some new threads! yeah, that's the ticket!




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sweetheart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 03:37 PM
Response to Reply #55
59. 6 billion and rising, i'm shocked
who is having sex, unthinkable, but plenty of people
love to remember the bubbling hormones of the puberty
sexual fantasies, oogling at teachers hours on end..

Lots of threadzz about that'll make DU intelligent! :-)
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proud2BlibKansan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 04:12 PM
Response to Reply #55
64. LOL
Good call.

:rofl:
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bunkerbuster1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 06:13 PM
Response to Reply #64
71. eh. I'm a little ashamed of myself
it's kinda like shooting fish in a barrel.

I never used to rag on fellow DUers, ever, but lately I've been feeling kind of crotchety. Dunno why.
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WinkyDink Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 04:06 PM
Response to Original message
63. There's just more publicity, because our "news" has become more
salacious.
And since the media won't report on Bushco,....
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joeunderdog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 06:04 PM
Response to Original message
66. Sexist headline.
If the genders were reversed, it would be called alleged rape or molestation. They don't even criminalize the act when they describe it.

Where are all the equal-righters on these threads?
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bemildred Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 06:08 PM
Response to Original message
69. Probably safer than going to a bar.
You probably get more gratitude, too.
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YouthInAsia Donating Member (806 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 07:29 PM
Response to Original message
75. Michael Medved (fascist) said the other day that boys
cannot be raped and that these cases should be treated "differently" than a male teacher who has sex with a female student.
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Saboburns Donating Member (690 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Apr-05-06 07:58 PM
Response to Original message
78. What do I Ithink??
Edited on Wed Apr-05-06 07:58 PM by Saboburns
This behavior has been going on for a LOOOOOOOOOONG time.

Greeks and Romans did this everyday.

It's been going on in the good old USA forever as well.

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salin Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 09:44 PM
Response to Original message
84. Such relationships are often about asserting some kind of sick power
even when the abuser rationalizes it as "love". Is it happening more? Or is it being reported more (as in going to the police)? That question is hard to answer. But I think the motivation is all about asserting power over the powerless - and often related to a sense (in another part of life) feeling pretty powerless and thus a need (to one not well-balanced in the first place) to assert their power over another person. None of that excuses the abusive behavior - just a possible explanation.
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philosophie_en_rose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Apr-06-06 09:47 PM
Response to Original message
85. Sick, immature women seeking out boy-pets to prove they're lovable.
Edited on Thu Apr-06-06 10:13 PM by philosophie_en_rose
Like their male counterparts, these women seduce young children for their own selfish purposes. The child isn't loved for themselves. These are children, who should be loved as children and not adults. But these women somehow fit these children (many of whom are already sexualized due to abuse or even just puberty hormones) into their fantasy life. It is true that boys might be easier for teachers to betray through rape. (Many boys are taught to brag about sex, rather than watch out for abuse). But none of that makes it okay for an adult to have contact with a child for sexual purposes. Ever.

And, even if an adult were to fall romantically in love with a child as a person (rather than as a manifestation of a fantasy), she or he would wait until the child was old enough to handle adult relationships. These men and women would give the child the opportunity to have a childhood - rather than to become burdened by the adult's sickness.

Look at Villi Fulau. Mary Kay LeTourneau might not have groomed him for sexual purposes (meaning she didn't originally intend to prey upon him), but she ultimately took advantage of the fact that Villi was a vulnerable kid who needed a teacher. Kids have crushes on their teachers, but it does not mean that she had the right to abuse him. She stole his whole childhood and now he doesn't have anything but her. He has no education or profession and is stuck with a rapist to make his living. He's an adult now, and I respect his right to make a choice. However, I question whether he had a real choice.


On Edit: I think it's important to emphasize that 95+ % of abusers are male. Female teachers that rape students are vile criminals. But the media is exploiting the victims, by focusing on "young boy gets lucky" rather than "young men don't learn to guard against sex abuse."
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