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The Plame investigation took a surprising turn this week as special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald set his sights on the heavens. Following the revelation by Lewis I. (Scooter) Libby, that the leak was authorized by none other than President George W. Bush, Fitzgerald continued to follow the trail, hoping it would eventually lead to someone important (With a disaproval rating of over 70%, W. no longer qualified). It is no secret that President Bush has repeatedly claim to receive his marching orders from an invisible being, up in the sky, that knows all, and sees all. Some White House Staffers refer to this omnicient presence as "Karl", though investigators believe he has mulptiple aliases. The Pope, apparently God's press secretary, offered no comment to the new accusations. Investigators are still trying to contact God, through various means. There is some speculation as to whether it was The Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit, or the whole Trinity that authorized the leak, outing CIA operative Valerie Plame.
In related news, the U.S. military has resumed contruction on a "ladder to heaven". The project was initiated by a few children in South Park, Colorado. The effort was later militarized when rumors began to circulate that Sadam Hussien was building weapons of mass destruction in Heaven. It is not known at this time if God had knowledge of any weapons program related activities. It must be assumed, since his is supposedly all knowing, that while Sadam Hussien sits in jail, God is currently sitting on a stockpile of weapons of mass destruction. As of this reporting God remains at large, he is to be considered armed and extremely dangerous, if you see him, contact the media immediately, then call Patrick Fitzgerald, then maybe the Army.
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