Congratulations, Georgie!! Sensational Simian of the Year!!

[Ecumenist]

I'd like to announce that our own scientific oddity, george w bush has been awarded,( yes kids!, turns out that he's finally won something and has been actually elected without the usual neocon intrigue).
Just when we had come to the conclusion that he could do nothing right, we been proven wrong...
Dubya was presented to award to mark his latest photo op, er, visit to Yolo County, the home of one of the most esteemed Primate Studies Program on the Globe! It just so happened that for the first time in a umber of years, Be Kind to Chimps and Rhesus' Day. It's a little known outside of northern California but we hope to have it spread across the country and world with the latest honouree.




We present you with the Sensational Simian Citation on Be Kind to Chimps and Rhesus' Day. This has been awarded to outstanding subhumans by the primate studies department @ UC Davis for 30 years. Until you came along, we weren't even aware that the lower primates were capable of standing upright for more than 20 minutes! You're quite an interesting specimen and your mom should be proud.

There were quite a few in the running and in the end, Bobo the Singing bonobo and you were neck and neck. But our committee, after studying your facial expressions and the reaction of our Chimpanzee evaluators put you over the top. It was this photographic portrait that a plurality of Evaluating committee which they unanimously agreed clearly said," I can't believe I'm still here. Condie said I could have a hit @ three and that's more than 3 hours ago...I think", in perfect lowland chimpanese in an obscure rhesus dialect. The fact that you finally had dermabrasion on those knuckles didn't hurt.

so congratulations, Mr pResident and enjoy your 'reign" for the next 6 years. You'll be delighted to know that there are fabulous prizes, including but not limited to a years supply of butt wax and an all expense paid trip and stay on kong island and should the Americans agree, we can arrange to make a lifetime placement for you, complete with a 2 years supply of various bananas. As part of your fabulous prize package, you'll be whisked away for a fun filled night of dinner and entertainment at the San Diego Zoo, hosted by the Fabulous Freeper Kazoo Band and towing service. They graciously stepped in when the original host, Cheeta the Chimpanzee backed out when he heard that you were the winner. He hurried off the phone, mumbling something about having too much self respect.

Enjoy your prize, mr pResident and welcome to California...and now, go home as soon as possible and don't come back ever, you hear?

[chookie]

1. What a honor

I was expecting to be offended by your post -- because I don't think simians should be disrespected.

George and the NeoCons are evidence that evolution has reversed -- at least among extreme Republicans.

But you're right; George has to be credited with his extraordinary ability for bipedal locomotion when emerging from AirForce One.

Will you give him peanuts or M&Ms?

[Ecumenist]

3. I've been told that it's best to restrict sweets to the occasional

Banana, melons and other fruits. However, our best scientists have determined that a bit of carob and sugar cane wouldn't hurt too much. It seems that dubya has longterm chemically induced brain damage. In order to make sure he doesn't fall too far behind the other primates, we have to restrict complex carbohydrates. Otherwise, they will attack and ostracise him, something we're seeing with increasing regularity among humans. We suspect that he's being supplied with alcohol, which only decreases his ability to continue to communicate with humans. LOL!!
It appears as time passes that he is devolving both in thinking processes and language to dialects normally seen in the lowland gorillas and few rare great ape species in east africa and south east Asia. So, no M&M's but he can have all the peanuts he can eat.

[nuxvomica]

2. Scotty McClellan is proof that he can use tools

And put them away whe he's done with them, too.

[Ecumenist]

4. Ah but does it?

I put to you that he had nothing to do with this action but this was accomplished by others within the Beltway that can atually make decisions. He's just been trained to appear marginally intelligent. Like a big parrot wearing a suit.:think:

[nuxvomica]

7. That reminds me of a Simpsons episode

Where a veterinarian said that though he does all this work to save animals' lives they can never thank him for it, well, except maybe the parrots can.

[chookie]

6. Are you a Harvard anthropologist?

You certainly have revealed your professional identity with this post.

You're right -- Bush is a monkey boy who CAN use tools, -- and that is no small matter from a zoological perspective.This has never been made public, but I conjecture that George can eat bull balls with his feet. AND IMAGINE -- people think he is not a competent president! Walking upright from his helicopter to the White House is a remarkable achievement for a monkey boy. Yet, it is never mentioned in the press, which is so obsessed with the insurgency and civil war in Iraq...

Let's see -- Scooty, Libby, Andy Card -- he has done away with a number of tools. What a clever monkey.

[nuxvomica]

8. He's easily the most competent simian president in history!

Way, way ahead of Harding.

[chookie]

11. WAY WAY WAY

WAY WAY WAY. To put it succinctly (please excuse the caps.).

[Ecumenist]

9. Why, thank you Chookie..

but I'm not an anthroplogist,Harvard or otherwise.. In fact, I've never been to the North East. I am a mixed African american California Girl, born and bred who majored in biology with an emphasis on Molecular biology and Immunology. But I thank you for that lovely complement. I did absolutely love cultural anthropology, if that helps...:hi:

[chookie]

10. You can learn a lot

Watching the news -- I feel like Jane Goodall. Our political monkeys do not appear as rational and organized as chimpanzees though.

[Ecumenist]

13. I feel that way too, too often these days, I'm afraid...

But I have to admit that I'm starting to feel a bit uplifted lately as I see a sea change in the way this bunch is starting to be seen by their own and it's about damn time.

[chookie]

14. BTW

Duck when he starts flinging poopoo at you for daring to question his alpha status.

[Jack Rabbit]

5. We give him his reward

a rhesus' peanut butter cup.

[chookie]

12. Takes too long for a president (a "decider")

I recommend an M&M. Quick and to the point. ( I bet Cheney has mountains of them....)
http://www.napuagallery.com/artists/powell/M&M