Joke: Weapons of Math Instruction

[verse18]

My aunt from England sent this to me:


NEWS ALERT:

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a
calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Ashcroft said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

[knitter4democracy]

1. :-D

That's funny! I'm thinking of whom to e-mail that to.

:)

[Wilms]

2. Thanks, Verse.

I just emailed that to a couple of protractor wielding buddies.

:)

[Peace Patriot]

3. And, ya know, those A-rabbs, they're the ones that gave us the zeero,

and ya know that ain't good. You cain't write out "one trillion dollars disappeared in Iraq" without a lot of them A-rabb ciphers, and that's why they gave it to us, so that citizens of future democracies could add things up, and add in a bunch of zeeros to things they don't know nothin about. The commies also had zeeros, and you can still find some in Cuba. And now their spreadin zeeros all over South America, and addin things up. If we could go back to a time when men challenged each other to duels, or back futher, to jousts, we'd be a better place. Real men don't add with zeeros. They use Roman numerals. Zeeros are Middle Eastern. And ya know why those Middle Easterners are pansies? They been usin zeeros from time immemorial.

[MADem]

4. Change Ass-croft to Gonzalez and you have a winner! n/t