Five excuses for why you won’t be coming into work today:

[Omaha Steve]

http://biglabor.com/jokes.php

Five excuses for why you won’t be coming into work today:

1. I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.

2. I am extremely sensitive to any change in the interest rates.

3. The dog ate my car keys. We’re going to hitchhike to the vet.

4. I just found out I was switched at birth. Legally, I can’t work with my records containing false information.

5. The EPA says my house is surrounded by wetlands; I have to arrange for helicopter transport.

Anybody care to add anymore?

[Faygo Kid]

1. It's Sunday?

Gotta go now.

Game's on!

[China_cat]

2. I've used up all my sick time, I'm calling in dead.

[libbygurl]

3. Today is Sunday. nt

[Adsos Letter]

4. "I'm passing a kidney stone..."

...(the actual "call-in" must be punctuated with growling, groaning, and mild Tourette's Syndrome).

:D

[Craftsman]

5. Anal glaucoma

I can't see my butt coming to work today.