Bill Maher - NEW RULES.. Great One - Enjoy While It Lasts!

[tomm2thumbs]

Run time: 07:03 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ntEzbnBMI4   Posted on YouTube: March 13, 2010 By YouTube Member: BillMaherHD Views on YouTube: 308   Posted on DU: March 13, 2010 By DU Member: tomm2thumbs Views on DU: 5884

 

March 12, 2010 -His main point touches upon 'let's not fire the teachers when students don't learn, let's fire the parents...'

**
added note:

If you want a transcript/captions, this video has CC which does a very mixed job of translating the audio, but wanted to let you know! You need to click directly to the video, click the cc button and choose 'Transcribe Audio'. 'cracked'= 'crappy', 'basket' = 'bastard'.... and a few other anomalies, but they are getting better so if someone wants to translate and post it here, all the better!

[BrklynLiberal]

1. Great rant about our education system

[demwing]

2. So, a TV Show host is telling me

that TV is garbage for my kids, but it isn't TV's fault?

OH, It's MY fault. Ah I see....

Sounds suspiciously like the groups of parents that don't want to admit their own failure in raising their kids, and simply blame the teachers.

Teachers blame TV, TV blames the parents, parents blame the teachers, and Glenn Beck blames the Liberals. It's the circle of dumb

Someday, someone is going to step and say "Hey, it's my fault. I accept responsibility."

[Mithreal]

8. Don't forget the ones managing our economies and eroding the American family's ability

to keep a home, earn a fair wage, save for the future and have time for their family.

If they're lucky two parents working, stressed out of their minds and anxious about living paycheck to paycheck, too often multiple jobs that pay less than is livable and not having a chance in hell of paying for their kid's after high school training is suffocating the middle class but for some that is even a goal. Hope isn't enough. Where is the lower and middle class's bailout? Where is our ladder or bootstrap?

Agree with you on much that you said, but don't leave out the ones who are supposed to be protecting America from the profiteers. If a representative isn't right on what average Americans need, we are coming for them. Wait and see.

+1 for circle of dumb. :applause:

[olegramps]

23. Perhaps the workers dug their own grave when they abandoned the unions.

[crikkett]

26. I think there was more to it than that.

Reagan did a lot to weaken unions.

[olegramps]

29. Why was he able to do that? Simple because the workers had already been brainwashed.

[crikkett]

30. Okay, but how?

And when? I thought union-busting efforts came from corp. boardrooms and really gathered steam around the time of the Chrysler bailout...during Carter's administration, and then Reagan did a lot more damage.

But I don't know so much about this.

[perdita9]

13. Education is a team effort

The problem with the way it's set up now, the only one who's held responsible is the teacher. The kids know this and won't step up to assume any responsibility for learning.

[Initech]

27. I like the line - "Even Harvard has bad teachers, they gave us George Bush!"

[ro1942]

3. Thanks

[Tx4obama]

4. K&R n/t

[tomm2thumbs]

5. *** TEXT TRANSCRIPT ***

I couldn't bear all the typos in the closed-captioning:

NEW RULES:

New Rule: 3-D Glasses can make anyone look like a dipstick. (picture of Obama & Michelle in 3-D glasses) 'leader of the free world' - 'President of the United States' - 'Nobel Prize winner'? Here, put these on. Welcome to Star Fleet (picture of Jordy from Star Trek)

Oh, and Michelle's glasses? They're not even 3-D. She just doesn't want to be recognized with her date: President Urkel.

New Rule: President Obama must not bail out Greece. Besides democracy, philosophy, geometry, poetry, architecture and drama, what have they ever given us?! Greek President (Prime Minister) Papandreou came to Washington this week begging for money, to which I say 'Screw you Zorba - and the horse you came hidden inside of. You want our hard-earned dollars? Come back when you're an insurance company!

New Rule: Glenn Beck has to stop being so hard on himself. After his Eric Massa interview, Beck said 'I think this is the first time I have wasted an hour of your time.' Oh Glenn - that's SO not true.

First of all, we never make it through the hour... but when we flip by your show and you're standing on your desk, dressed in lederhosen and holding back tears, etching something about Woodrow Wilson on your crazy board - believe me, those two minutes aren't wasted. They're the funniest part of our day.

New Rule: The fashion designer who dreamed up this outfit (picture of lady dressed like rodent) must tell us what this model ever did to him. You think this girl looks miserable now, you should see her an hour later when she gets shot by Sarah Palin.

New Rule: Don't mail me a card with confetti in it. 'Oh thanks a lot - now I've got sparkles all over my pants. Looks like I got a lap dance from Johnny Weir'

and finally...

New Rule: Let's not fire the teachers when students don't learn. Let's fire the parents.

Now, last week President Obama defended the firing of every single teacher in a struggling high school in a poor Rhode Island neighborhood, and the kids were outraged. They said 'why blame our teachers' and 'who's President Obama?'

You know, I think it was Whitney Houston who said 'I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way' and that's the last sound piece of educational advice this country has gotten... from a crack-head in the 1980's.

Now, I know what you're saying. 'But Bill, what do you know about raising kids... You don't have any!' Yeah, I also don't have any fish, but I know not to fill their tank with Mountain Dew... or to enter a kid in a beauty pageant or let them be an altar boy. What you do with your spawn affects me. They're the ones who run me over while they're texting. Because they're using an online dictionary to spell 'Where You At?'

Yes, America has found its new boogie man to blame for our crumbling educational system. It's just too easy to blame the teachers, what with their cushy teacher lounges and their fat-cat salaries and their absolute authority about who gets a hall pass. But isn't it convenient that once again it turns out that the problem isn't us - and the fix is something that doesn't require us to change our behavior or spend any money.

It's so simple. Fire the bad teachers. Hire good ones... from some 'undisclosed location'. And hey, while we're at it, let's cut taxes more. It's the kind of comprehensive educational solution that could only come from a completely ignorant people. Yes, firing all the teachers may feel good -- we're Americans - kicking people when they're down is what we do... but it's not really their fault.

Now undeniably there are some really bad teachers out there. They don't know the material. They don't make things interesting. They have sex with the same student every day... instead of spreading the love around.

But every school has crappy teachers. Harvard has crappy teachers. They must. They gave us George Bush.

But according to all the studies, it doesn't matter what teachers do (although everyone appreciates foreplay). What matters is what PARENTS do. The number one predictor of a child's academic success is parental involvement. It doesn't even matter if your child goes to private or public school. So save the 20 grand a year and treat yourself to a nice vacation away from the little bastards!

It's been proven that just having books in the house makes a huge difference in a child's development. If your home is adorned with nothing but Hummel dolls, DVD's and bleeding Jesus-es - CONGRATULATIONS! You're just given your children the gift of 'Duh'.

Sarah Palin said recently that she wrote on her hand because her father used to do it. I rest my case.

So, when there are no books in the house. And there are no parents in the house. You know who raises the kids? You're watching it now. So maybe the problem isn't the teachers. Maybe it's the Nannies.

[Mithreal]

9. +1

:yourock:

[tomm2thumbs]

15. right back atcha!

:)

[Enthusiast]

6. Yeah. And we can't

afford more money on teachers and schools we have wars to fight.

[liberal N proud]

7. On the maybe it's the Nanny's comment

I would like to post this little pieces...


A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Texas town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger...he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with
Adventures, mysteries and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped
Talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them.. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... Not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular Basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.
He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?.... ... .



We just call him 'TV.'

(Note: This should be required reading for every household in America !)

He has a wife now....We call her 'Computer.

[Mithreal]

11. well done

:applause:

[demwing]

12. Mmmmmm TV

Teaher, mother, secret lover...

[dbmk]

18. And before TV it was radio

And before radio it was books.

And you can probably stick Rock and Roll in between TV and Computer.

I am probably missing a few things from the list of "Scapegoats for old people to explain the youth today", feel free to add.

[liberal N proud]

22. There were no couch potato's before Television

And no one ever became stupid sitting between the pages of a book. The television has allowed people to sit on their couch and stare aimlessly without talking to each other hypnotized by this blue light in the corner.
Brainwashed by it's dazzling lights.

When radio was king, families gathered around it on Saturday nights, Television has become a stranger in each room with the talking heads telling us what to buy and who to vote for not to mention show us new ways to kill each other.

[Mike K]

25. Radio was never the hypnotic attraction -

- that television has become. And while there were weekly productions in the era of radio, such as The Colgate Comedy Hour, the Sunday night Bob Hope Show and nightly dramas like The Shadow, which people might sit around the radio and listen to while exercising their imaginations, radio was for the most part theater of the mind and didn't call for fixed, focused, totally engaged attention the way television does. One could do other things with the eyes and the mind while listening to the radio and the mind retained control over input.

The only thing on radio I can recall my own family paying close and undivided attention to was the War News presented by Gabriel Heatter every night at 7PM during WW-II. Because, unlike the military adventures to follow, America was truly at war back then, our loved ones were being killed by the thousands in Europe and the Pacific, and we had real cause for fear -- not just the kind of idle curiosity which is diverted by more important events such as American Idol or Tiger Woods' sex life.

[HopeHoops]

10. K&R

[romantico]

14. Is it me

Is it me or Hill Harper one of the most beautiful men ever? Love him. Not only is he smart but so damn hot!

[Suji to Seoul]

16. What? Holding a-hole parents accountable for their a-hole kids?

Surely Bill. . .you un-American socialist, communist, fascist, pot smoking, gay loving liberal pantywaist. . .surely, Bill, you must realize that the only time parents are mentioned is if the child succeeds!

If the kid fails, it's the school's fault and the parent had nothing to do with it.

Most of the time, the worst thing a child could have is a parent and, aftering being in education in America, teaching is the best form of birth control!

[Suji to Seoul]

17. self delete - dupe

[NNadir]

19. A great defense of teachers. I loved the "tax cut" remarks. Classic.

That a-hole Howard Jarvis and his enabler, Ronald Reagan, converted California's public school system from number one in the nation to number 46, just ahead of Alabama.

[dhpgetsit]

20. Gone. :(

[Unca Jim]

21. You can watch it here...

http://vodpod.com/watch/3230001-liveleak-com-bill-maher-new-rules-12-march-2010

[Grassy Knoll]

24. K & R. n/t

[cufford]

28. Shameless

So let me get this straight...

You post a video that you know is copyright infringement, and that as soon as the owner of the work discovers this they will demand it be removed.

But you commit this copyright infringement anyway, because it apparently makes you feel good to do it, and you apparently feel that you'll never be held accountable for this criminal act. You can get away with it.

You are part of the problem in our world today. A person with no morality whatsoever.

You shouldn't post something that you know is illegal. And bragging about it in your original post 'watch it before the legal owner gets it removed' proves this.

This is one of the big problems with the Internet today. People just don't give a damn about anything but making themselves feel good. To hell with the fact that doing so is infringing upon anyone else's rights.

And DU...for allowing this...is equally as shameful.