John Boehner: The Man with the Tan

[Better Believe It]

Run time: 02:37 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5tm9BhkveI   Posted on YouTube: September 13, 2010 By YouTube Member: ScarceClips Views on YouTube: 88   Posted on DU: September 13, 2010 By DU Member: Better Believe It Views on DU: 629

 

[JoshieR]

1. Cutting his grass...?

Yeah right. This guy doesn't have a lawn service? ...and mountain biking? I find that hard to believe as well.

[Tutankhamun]

3. He's such a hard workin' real good ol' fashioned

elbow grease do-it-yourself kinda guy. Yessirree! Boy howdy!

Um yeah, John. You're infamous in Washington for your lazy, short, infrequent workdays. Now we know the real reason you put so little effort into actually doing your job! It's because of the massive amount of personal care you devote to yardwork! And all along people have been calling you lazy. Forshame America! Forshame!

And when you're not meticulously manicuring and beautifying every individual blade of grass in that lawn the whole neighborhood secretly envies, you're mountain biking. And you're clearly not mountain biking like some mere mortal! Oh no, John. That wouldn't become you at all. You're riding up and down all those dusty, rugged, rocky trails without a helmet! Otherwise you'd have an uneven "helmet tan" to show for your efforts. Good thing you're so tough that you don't need a helmet in a sport that compels pretty much every other serious participant to wear one.

Now we know why you're so hard-headed, John. You have to be that way to protect yourself from injury on all of those helmet-free, safety-be-damned-I'm-a-man-with-a-tan mountain biking expeditions (on which you're also too manly/important to wear sunscreen).

Finally, we understand the real John Boehner! He doesn't hate the middle class, people of color, women, gays/lesbians, Muslims, Democrats, unions, the poor, condoms, civil liberties and America as our forefathers envisioned. He's just too busy beautifying his lawn and bunny hopping his 24-speed along jagged mountain trails without a helmet.

[AsahinaKimi]

2. You see with the GOP ..its not about being smart

Its about looking GOOD. The GOP wants good looking model types, or actor types (Ronald Reagan) to lead the country while the Corporations control everything. And as for Fox News, they want viewers to swoon and say.."Ooooh what a good looking man! He will have my vote!!"