Mourning.

[Kind of Blue]

May be this has been said before. But it just struck me after supporting Cali Democrat's thread
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=433x90422
that the Obama bashers are in one or more of the five stages of mourning at any given time.

Just suggesting this so that may be we ourselves can temper our outrage at their outrage with a little kindness and maybe not feed it so vehemently all the time. I know the below is about death but I know these stages are for anything any one loses and mourns.

1. Denial and Isolation: The first reaction to learning of terminal illness or death of a cherished pet is to deny the reality of the situation. It is a normal reaction to rationalize overwhelming emotions. It is a defense mechanism that buffers the immediate shock. We block out the words and hide from the facts. This is a temporary response that carries us through the first wave of pain.
2. Anger: As the masking effects of denial and isolation begin to wear, reality and its pain re-emerge. We are not ready. The intense emotion is deflected from our vulnerable core, redirected and expressed instead as anger. The anger may be aimed at inanimate objects, complete strangers, friends or family. Anger may be directed at our dying or deceased pet. Rationally, we know the animal is not to be blamed. Emotionally, however, we may resent it for causing us pain or for leaving us. We feel guilty for being angry, and this makes us more angry. The veterinarian who diagnosed the illness and was unable to cure the disease, or who performed euthanasia of the pet, might become a convenient target. Health professionals deal with death and dying every day. That does not make them immune to the suffering of their patients or to those who grieve for them. Do not hesitate to ask your veterinarian to give you extra time or to explain just once more the details of your pet's illness. Arrange a special appointment or ask that he telephone you at the end of his day. Ask for clear answers to your questions regarding medical diagnosis and treatment. Discuss the cost of treatment. Discuss burial arrangements. Understand the options available to you. Take your time. Both you and your veterinarian will find that honest and open communication now are an invaluable long-term investment.
3. Bargaining: The normal reaction to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability is often a need to regain control. If only we had sought medical attention sooner. If we got a second opinion from another doctor. If we changed our pet's diet, maybe it will get well. Secretly, we may make a deal with God or our higher power in an attempt to postpone the inevitable. This is a weaker line of defense to protect us from the painful reality.
4. Depression: Two types of depression are associated with mourning. The first one is a reaction to practical implications relating to the loss. Sadness and regret predominate. We worry about the cost of treatment and burial. We worry that, in our grief, we have spent less time with others that depend on us. This phase may be eased by simple clarification and reassurance. We may need a bit of helpful cooperation and a few kind words. The second type of depression is more subtle and, in a sense, perhaps more private. It is our quiet preparation to separate and to bid our pet farewell. Sometimes all we really need is a hug.
5. Acceptance: Reaching this stage of mourning is a gift not afforded to everyone. Death may be sudden and unexpected or we may never see beyond our anger or denial. It is not necessarily a mark of bravery to resist the inevitable and to deny ourselves the opportunity to make our peace. This phase is marked by withdrawal and calm. This is not a period of happiness and must be distinguished from depression.

[cliffordu]

1. When they get to Anger, Look out!!!!!

:rofl:


(I know many of them are)

[Kind of Blue]

2. They're there, all right. Right past denial into anger!

But if what we're seeing is denial then I'm :scared:

[get the red out]

3. But did they never have Civics class?

I am willing to give them some time to get over their "loss" but if they had looked at politics in a rational manner to begin with they wouldn't have gotten into this shape. What disturbs me is that so many people seemed to have no idea that the going would be ROUGH. The President doesn't make laws by himself, that's 9th grade Civics.

The mourning should be for a media that no longer does its job and for an opposition party that is now incapable of political compromise and rational thinking. The lack of these two things has made our political process, and the President's job, just so much more difficult. I am a lowly office worker with a useless music degree and I see this. I can't get how smart people miss the obvious and think that one man, the President, can make all their dreams for the country come true, and if he can't then he was a fraud to begin with and just a part of the great corporate conspiracy.

I am almost as frustrated with them as I perpetually am at the struggling people of my state (Kentucky) who will vote away a chance at a better life because some sickening preacher tells them that Democrats aren't "pro-family". Both are irrational.

If they do not get through their mourning then they could become a liability to the quality of all our lives if they help Republicans get elected. That makes me ill to think about. I hope they recover quickly.

[Kind of Blue]

4. I'm sure many of our fellow DUers have had civics

and know Exactly how government works. We've had 8 years of how our government is NOT supposed to work based on our understanding of elementary civics.

When disappointment enters the arena of full blown irrational among "smart people," and no amount of reasoning or facts are enough to quell it, then for me I need/want to understand the motivating factor(s) that could splinter a party I pretty much thought was cohesive on most of our issues. I think many of us have long given up on the media, understand the opposition party practices and religious nuts - those I think in large part are what's helped to make us stronger. But that's not my point and right now I don't care about them.

What I care about is the reaction of Obama/HCR supporters to the vitriol and fanning it with volleys of hate, IMO, is not gonna get us anywhere. At what point do we come to grips with knowing we're not going to change some opposers' minds and not fall for outright baiting threads to continue this unexpected battle among us?

I guess the good thing I've seen are some incredible flip-flops as DUers who I'd never think would get a handle on reality are posting threads like, "Well, I don't like it but it's a start." That's what led me to think that he/she has gotten over anger, denial, et cetera, and this may be the process a lot of them going through and I want them to get through it as quickly as possible. At this point and in the meantime I don't think there's much help for consoling the inconsolable but just to continue to supply them with facts without nastiness.

[get the red out]

5. Good points

I have been so disgusted with them I just want them to get over it and not splinter our party with "purity tests" the way the Republicans have laid waste to theirs.

Being rational in the face of their hysterics has to help, it is hard to fight with rage forever in the face of someone who isn't raging back.

[Kind of Blue]

6. ...

:hug: I know and I'm not quick on snappy comebacks with rageoholics and things move so fast that even if I want to, I still got more reading and understanding to do before I'm sure of what's in policies and sure of myself. I can't go on "I Love Obama" as a reasoning :rofl:

But case in point, I promised myself not to venture into politics on our other mutual group, GTRO, but have you seen it? An extremely wonderful turn around from a very disappointed member :bounce: That makes me feel so good that I could cry.

[get the red out]

7. I just saw that!

That's a good sign indeed in the other group we frequent. I try to stay away from politics there as well unless I can say something positive and non threatening.

Maybe it proves that my fears of the Democratic Party being torn apart are irrational, I certainly hope so!