Goodbye... for now.

[JTG of the PRB]

The past week has become a near nightmare for me... It feels as though the weight of the world is crushing me, and that everything good about this world is crumbling before my eyes. I am stressed out, tired, angry, frustrated, and seemingly alone. Though I may not be alone in spirit, sometimes spirit is not enough.

A guy I was friends with the last year and a half of high school died last week from a drug overdose. I haven't been able to feel anything but numb until today. My job is so frustrating, and I feel like I have no help, no respect, and no understanding from my coworkers and managers. As a supervisor, I feel caught between two worlds - with the responsibilities of both and the support of neither.

I haven't seen a number of my closest friends in months, largely because of the exhaustion of my job. I feel isolated. Worse yet, I feel like it is entirely my doing that has caused me to be come isolated. I feel lonely, unloved, unwanted, and irrelevant.

My world view has become increasingly bleak... corruption, lies, scandal, war, death, failure, backing down, standing up to a government that no longer listens to its people... I feel like a small voice among many small voices that are not being heard. I want change desperately, but am powerless to change a thing, even within my own life at the moment.

Perhaps the worst thing is that today i considered that killing myself would be less painful than having to go through one more day of this seeming hell on Earth. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm overly cynical. Maybe I just don't get it. All that matters is that I can't keep going like this any more.

So I'm leaving. As much as I will miss it, I will not be visiting Democratic Underground until I have my life, my mind, and my soul in order. No more Crooks & Liars. No more CNN. No more Keith Olbermann.

*sigh* That last one's REALLY going to suck...

I can't go on with this world view. I can't go on fretting and worrying and fearing every shadow in my mind, whether real or imagined. I need to take time out and live for me for a little bit. I can't take on the world right now. I desperately want to, but I just can't do it.

I doubt many of you will notice my departure, or even care about it, but I have grown to respect and admire many of you here. Perhaps I have done it silently, lurking from one page to the next, reading your thoughts and nodding in silent agreement, but I have done it nonetheless.

Maybe my voice is important. maybe it's irrelevant. In any case, for the time being, it will be silenced to all but those closest to me.

Keep fighting the good fight. Never cave in, never give up. Fight for what you know is right, fight until your last breath. Fight until the waves of an oppressive world crash down upon you, and keep standing your ground.

The waves have crashed into me. I have crumbled. I will some day stand my ground again, but right now, i am on the verge of breaking down. I need some rest before I can start fighting again.

Thank you for bearing with me. I'm a rambler when my thoughts are a jumble as they are. Godspeed to you all. May our republic not perish from this earth. Live long and prosper.

Goodbye... for now.

[babylonsister]

1. We ALL take breaks from time to time - it's a must to keep our sanity!

As for you, "Never cave in, never give up." Do what you have to do to get your mind and your situation to where you can cope. We'll be here when and if you care to come back.
And we'll be here should you need some strong shoulders and ears to vent.

:grouphug:

[JeffR]

Just remember to come back

and godspeed.

[BuyingThyme]

2. Good luck, Jtg33.

When I fall into those places, I go for long walks.

[OwnedByFerrets]

3. K & R.....

because it needs to be seen.:cry:

[liberal N proud]

4. Everyones voice is important Don't stay away too long

[donco6]

5. Hang in there please!

I have honestly felt the same way recently. Seek out some friends and/or family and find your ground again.

[Nimrod2005]

6. Please seek professional help....We'll see you when you get back.

It would be good to talk this out with someone..

[crim son]

7. It sounds like your personal life needs your attention.

Politics can wait and DU will be here when you regain your equilibrium. I've been there and I wish you well.

[flyarm]

8. oh honey sooo sorry for the loss of your friend..yes take a rest...

this stuff can be overwhelming ..and a loss needs grieving..take time for yourself..and be kind to yourself..and know we will be here if you need us!!

sending your love and kindest thoughts..

go rest ...the mind and body need time to heal after a death..and most of all ..kindness to ourselves.

we will miss you..but rest will be good.

with Hugs and thoughts of healing for you...

fly:hug: :hug: :loveya:

[Lost-in-FL]

9. Please be safe!! Take time for yourself!!

:hug: :cry:

[trumad]

10. Take a trip to the Grand Canyon

thats all.

[MuseRider]

11. Be gentle with yourself.

This is not an easy time for any of us and I have been where you are. It takes time and it takes help. Get the help and take your time. We all crumble from time to time. Come back when you feel better and feel like you can deal with it. I have found that the people here are more support than many people ever have, it is a wonderful place so come back when you can. It takes us all and someone may need your help someday. :hug:

Peace and be safe.

[zulchzulu]

12. Grieve, but take time to do what makes you happy

Stay with the land of the living. It's hard when you lose a friend and think nothing makes sense, but it's actually good to turn the page, switch gears, clean out the pipes sometime.

Talk long walks. Be near bodies of water. Sleep well. Take care of yourself. If you feel depressed, get some help or take some St. John's Wort to get the dreary edge off. Don't drink alcohol for a while. Perhaps get a pet.

Treat yourself to a trip on a train to the mountains and camp out. Each sunset will get better. You'll be as right as rain soon enough.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

13. Please, while you are away...

A talk with a doctor might be a good idea as well.

All the best things for you while on hiatus.

[deutsey]

18. I second that...n/t

[yorkiemommie1]

14. take one day at a time

sometimes .... one MINUTE at a time. Please take care of yourself and see someone for help if you need to. There are lots of support groups, etc., out there. Sending hugs,

PEACE .... yorkie

[BrklynLiberal]

15. The world is a very difficult place these days. Try to take good care of yourself and come back.

The world is too much with us; late and soon,
Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon!
This Sea that bares her bosom to the moon,
The winds that will be howling at all hours,
And are up-gathered now like sleeping flowers,
For this, for everything, we are out of tune;
It moves us not.--Great God! I'd rather be
A Pagan suckled in a creed outworn;
So might I, standing on this pleasant lea,
Have glimpses that would make me less forlorn;
Have sight of Proteus rising from the sea;
Or hear old Triton blow his wreathed horn.

Wordsworth

[JohnnyLib2]

16. Hunker down, rest up, find someone good to talk with, and

come back when you are ready. All best wishes.

[barbtries]

17. my condolences on

the loss of your friend. please hang in there, and i promise, you will feel better by and by. please hang in there. people do care.

[bonito]

19. Life is an adventure, there'll be better days

Hang in there your gaining bro. Peace

[lyonn]

30. That's good, life is an adventure. And the ups can be awesome

and the downs can be terrible especially when you are very young. It seems young people now days are having an especially hard time dealing with what I see as the pressure put on the young. It is either the struggle with college or their jobs where they work long hours just to survive. Sometimes it seems that friendships fall apart or you lose them or it could be girlfriend/boyfriend issues. What I have noticed with life is that it never stays the same. Just wait a few day, or weeks, and try to do something you enjoy even tho you may feel guilty at first, and truly things will change. He needs to get help if it continues. Sometimes a boost in the right direction by a trained person is necessary. Not knowledgeable in this area but we all know someone, or ourselves, that have those awful down times. Some have people close to them they can trust or see a professional.

This should be directed to the OP but got carried away with you comment, life is an adventure.

[HCE SuiGeneris]

20. The last two years have been a personal hell for me as well

Major health issues (heart surgery, acute depression, and various others) had me medicated and projecting a very bleak outlook. I am off all medications, quit smoking after 30 years (6+ months) and am re-inventing myself through healthier diet, meditation and exercise. It is imperative to nurture your mind and body to rid the stresses that inundate us. Time off from the political clusterfuck is absolutely necessary at times. Be good to yourself mentally. Reward yourself with congratulatory praise for small positive events that you help bring about (allowing a person to merge in front while driving, holding a door open for someone, etc). Get exercise!

Your OP is very well written, and it seems you know yourself well. Refresh your being. Don't despair. Don't give up. This world needs your contribution. Come back twice as strong. We will turn the corner back to a more rational world. I wish you health and strength of mind.

Peace to you.

[file83]

21. You're not the only lonely one, my friend.

The DU is no substitute for spending a few hours a week with a buddy, a gal friend, or just heading down to the bookstore/library to mingle with real living, breathing, planetary participants.

As for your job, instead of spending 3 hours on the DU tomorrow, spend it getting your resume and references together. Call those references to make sure they are still reachable and see how they are doing. Instead of posting a well written DU post, write a well written cover letter about you, your objectives, and what you can offer. Brag your ass off.

The next day, do some job searching. Check out some community college courses or something.

Then come back to the DU and see that you haven't missed much and the country hasn't crumbled.

Then go interview places now while you don't need to (still have your current job). If you keep trying, in a few months you might get a cool job offer, maybe less pay, maybe more.

Then you can approach your boss and say, "Boss, I just got a job offer. I'm seriously considering taking it. I might consider staying if I see these changes: 1, 2, 3, etc..."

That will be a fun day my friend. Nothing better than feeling bad for your boss because he/she realizes they are losing someone that they took for granted.

Hang in there. DU once a week (read the DUzy awards), and live your life the rest of the time.

I'm sorry about your friend. It's a god damned shame. Don't give in to the temptation to leave this place. We all leave this planet sooner or later, so do what you can until that naturally happens.

Keep in touch. ;-)

[Truthiness Inspector]

22. Get a grip

and I don't say that to be without compassion. The fact that you said you considered suicide then made a joke a few lines later about giving up Keith Olbermann is not right.

If you are truly suicidal, there are hotlines you could call, and I would encourage you to do so, but to me it sounds like you are making light of those people who are truly at the bottom and can only see suicide as an option.

[TheWatcher]

39. I'll remember this post if you ever reach a point that this guy has.

Who the hell are you to decide or dictate how one feels when one is at that point, or what the "correct" thought patterns and what one should sound like or say is? And how dare you accuse him of making light of anything?

You put the ASS in assumption, my friend.

Perhaps you should get a grip on some compassion.

As to the original poster, I dearly hope you will take the time you need to get back on your feet.

Like you told us. Don't Give Up.

[amerikat]

23. Don't give in or give up.stand and fight

We need you.

http://www.ushistory.org/paine/crisis/c-01.htm

[WillyT]

24. Hey Man... If You're Still...

Living in the Boulder area, there are some pretty awesome mountain-tops for just this type of thing. Grab a friend, real or imagined, and trek up to some nice spot and do some reflecting. Sometimes nature has this way of putting everything in perspective.

Worth a try I think.

Hang in there, we all go through this kind of period several times in our lives. And after you've done it, you'll be there for the next person who needs to get through it.

Cheers!

:toast:

[helderheid]

25. Rest. You are no good to anyone, yourself included, unless you can rest and renew.

:hug:

[badgerpup]

26. You have some pretty damn good insight...

to recognize the problem and know how to take PRODUCTIVE action in order to deal with it.
Do what's right for you, and come back when you're ready.
:hug:
Simile...simile...uh...
We may not hear every voice in the chorus while they're singing, but we hear the difference when one of the voices goes silent.

[OPERATIONMINDCRIME]

27. My Deepest Well Wishes And My Deepest Advice:

You are doing the right thing. I want you to know though, that even if you don't realize it right now, you have more power to change things then you think. Even this thread is proof that you still have power and control. The whole point of your premise is that you know you need to escape these things right now in order to refocus and heal yourself. That means you're already making a conscious decision, if even a small one, to try and better your tomorrows.

I know things seem awfully dark for you right now and that you feel helpless. But I want you to trust yourself. Know in your heart that though you may be lacking strength right now, that a day will come when you will regain it. Trust yourself to give yourself time, and that in time you will step by step rise again. Trust yourself that no matter how deep in a hole you feel, that you have the strength to hold on until you can pull yourself out. But don't pressure yourself. Don't overwhelm yourself. Don't feel like you have to do everything, or that you have to pull yourself out of the hole with one vigorous attempt. Instead, know that you have as long as you need, and that you pull yourself up an inch at a time when the strength is there, but that it's ok to remain without progress to rest until you are up in strength for the next inch.

Don't let anyone judge you. Don't even let yourself judge you. It is ok to push pause and there is no deadline for your healing. There are no rules for your healing. Just focus on the little things or choose to focus on nothing at all. But I want you to know something from the bottom of my heart: From someone who has hit rock bottom several times, that sometimes it is that bottom that makes you feel more free then you ever have.

So I want you to try something, if you'd like: First, understand that every single thing outside of you is props. They're just distractions. The only thing any of us truly have is what is inside. That voice in our head. We have two voices there. We have the frontal voice that interacts with the outside world, which is generally impulsive and higher in pitch, and then there's the voice that resides in the middle to back of our brains which is deeper and personal. The latter is the voice you need to focus on. It is the one you hear as you lay in bed on your back staring at the ceiling in the dark. Enjoy this voice. Know it has all the strength in the world that you will ever need. Don't trust me? Prove it to yourself. Grab any small non breakable object such as a lighter if you have one, or a marker or something. Put it in the palm of your hand. Without thinking too much, squeeze the object in your hand as hard as you possibly can. Then, squeeze it again. But this time I want you to focus with that voice in the middle of your head. Feel the energy flow down your arm, straight to your hand, straight to the object. Keep squeezing. Imagine a blue light if you want radiating down your arm straight into your hand as you squeeze. Stare at your hand as you squeeze. Keep focusing with that voice and urge yourself mentally to squeeze harder, as you stare at your hand. If you do, you'll see you were able to squeeze easily twice as hard as you did the first time, when you had already thought you squeezed as hard as you could.

I know this may sound silly but it isn't. Surviving in this world is all about that voice. Getting in touch with it. Understanding it. Knowing that it is the only thing that is truly real. It can do anything. It can think anything. If I tell you right now to close your eyes and think the phrase "Pink elephants eat ice cream", you can do so easily. So too can you place any phrase there you want at any time. The more you recognize that voice and that it is truly who you are, the more easily you can place phrases of strength and encouragement there.

Sorry for my babble as well, but I know you'll be ok, in whatever time frame you need. Peace be with you jtg33, you are stronger than you realize. This thread proves it.

If you ever need someone to listen, PM me anytime.

[emilyg]

28. Please rest

and see someone, be it a therapist, doctor or a priest. Talk it out.

[motocicleta]

29. Goodbye, and be well.

I know how effing hard it is, but your voice is important and relevant. This too shall pass. As my great-aunt said to me at my father's memorial service, "It could be worse." My father had died at 57, as I unsuccessfully did CPR. She had seen her daughter raped and murdered, another daughter die of brain cancer, and her husband kill himself. Her words often come to me when it seems darkest. She was, and is, right. Everything can look, and be, so bad, but at least we can know that it is not as bad as it could be. I have faith, for no real reason, that things will get better, and I am sure, as the day is long, that things will get better for you and for all of us.


Look to your community. That is how I always survive when things seem darkest.

Take some time, and then come back. We need you. We need all of us. Luckily, here we have all of us.

Matt

[Ress1]

31. C'mon,

pick yourself up, dust off your britches, kick yourself in the ass and quit bitching about how bad things are. There's a battle to fight and you're buckling right here at the beginning. Sigh!

[lostnfound]

32. Hugs, and know that we do care.

Many of us have been there at one time or another. Like tides in the ocean one's focus on the world at large needs to be in retreat on a regular basis. Take time, all the time you need, to care for yourself.

[mitchum]

33. I am sorry for the death of your friend and the other stress in your life...

do what you need to do for your health, sanity and wellbeing, but come back Brother.

peace,
mitchum

[Hekate]

34. Take the time you need. Many of us have been in your shoes...

... and to extend the metaphor, sometimes you've just got to take those shoes off and walk along the beach breathing the salt air.

Do what it takes to heal your soul, but most of all, try to reconnect with our beautiful Mother Earth. She is still beautiful despite the ravages of the careless -- beautiful and strong and loving. As you will be again.

:grouphug:

Hekate

[Gelliebeans]

35. Sometimes a break is good

I have taken one or two over the years. Sometimes you just have to turn it all off to hear the sound of your own voice. Don't isolate too much though and know whenever you are ready we are all here and look forward to your return.

I hear your frustration, I really do. Call some of the friends that you feel estranged from if you can and reconnect sometimes it just takes touching base with those that know us well that can improve our situation.

Good luck and feel free to PM :)

[StarryNite]

36. I feel your pain...

I think most of us have gone through periods in our lives where we are just beat up by life. Life can be brutal and really suck at times. Do what you have to do to get through this difficult period. Some people do better when they keep very busy and involved but others need to emotionally take a break from all the shit.

Take care.

:hug:

[Behind the Aegis]

37. I hope things improve.

Breaks are fine things. However, reading some of your post, I suggest you talk to a professional, or barring that, at least a friend!

NAMI (the National Alliance on Mental Illness)
NAMI Boulder County
Location: Boulder, CO
80304-2226
Phone: [phone]
Email: [e-mail]

National Suicide hotlines:
1-800-SUICIDE 1-800-273-TALK
1-800-784-2433 1-800-273-8255
(if you are deaf or hard-of-hearing: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889))

Best wishes!

[BikeWriter]

38. Been there, done that, didn't get the T-Shirt. Get help, please!

[w4rma]

40. Live! Do whatever you need to do to live! The world needs you and people like you! (nt)

[The Backlash Cometh]

41. Hang in there. What you're feeling is a normal reaction to an incredibly

absurd situation. Find something that makes you happy, and do it for a while as a distraction. I'm a master of escapism. It helps.

[yardwork]

42. I think that you are making a wise decision!

You will be missed, and you will be welcome back.

Everybody needs certain things to maintain a healthy life. I've taken breaks from time to time. Get outside, take walks, eat healthy, visit friends, go hiking, read some good books.

Best to you.

[applegrove]

43. It does take a toll the bad news day in day out. Feeling depressed is

a sign to "hit the decks" and recalibrate your life with a new balance. We will miss you for sure..every voice counts at the DU. But it is much more important to have you healthy and envigourated for the next election cycle than now.

So take a break. Plant a garden. Call up your friends. Read all the novels of your favourite author back to back. Get out there and play. Do it all. Nothing is more important that getting some balance back in your life.

[OneBlueSky]

44. I know the feeling . . . take some time, and do things that make you really feel alive, e.g. . . .

- take a bubble bath
- dry clothes in the sun
- eat mangoes naked
- keep toys in the bathtub
- hand upside down
- listen to old people
- make yes your favorite word
- wear pajamas to a movie
- strum your banjo (heh, heh)
- tickle someone's fancy
- play cards with your mom
- run barefoot in the grass
- drink sunsets
- take moonbaths
- eat a cake with no hands
- make a fort with blankets
- paint your sneakers
- plant licorice in your garden
- invite someone to tea
- read a trashy novel
- squeeze the Charmin
- sing with the birds
- draw on the walls
- giggle with a child
- adopt a cat
- build a lasagna
- dance naked in the rain
- eat sensually
- burp
- sleep under the stars
- hug a baby
- pick corn
- smell lilacs
- get wet
- follow a rainbow
- forgive everyone
- write yourself a love letter
- give a backrub
- gather stardust
- play the harmonica
- talk to an elf
- hug a tree
- eat a flower
- put a pink flamingo on your lawn
- stay in bed all day
- plant tomatoes
- sing in a chorus
- have a root beer
- listen to Mozart
- boogie woogie all night long
- swim in mud
- spit watermelon seeds
- rent a dirty movie
- make lemonade
- help a stranger
- go without underwear
- play in a sandbox
- open up
- dive in
- get high
- be free
- live juicy
:grouphug:

[PassingFair]

45. You have already swallowed the red pill. There is no turning back.

You CAN get away for a while, though, and you should, but
WE NEED YOU. We need ALL THE HELP WE CAN GET.

When you're rested, KEEP TALKING, KEEP FIGHTING.

It's all ANY of us can do.

And keep smiling, keep loving and keep LIVING!

Peace!

:hi:

[zippy890]

46. please

heed your own words:

"Fight until the waves of an oppressive world crash down upon you, and keep standing your ground"

we all go through times when the 'fight' becomes a personal day-to-day fight- the fight to keep on standing. Please keep standing your ground, against whatever problems are overwhelming you.

We care. You are not alone.

[windbreeze]

47. Take one day at a time....only one...don't worry about tomorrow....

until it gets here...I won't say good bye...only so long for now...and see you soon....
windbreeze

[Terri S]

48. hon, please take the time to see the light going on too

Turning it all off is a good thing. I have to do it periodically myself. Go out of your way to find the positive. Truly there IS light in the darkness. Take all the time you need and take good care of yourself. Silence is the absolute best remedy for being too caught up in too much negativity. I know where you are. Even if it's in spririt, if you need it, you have a hand to hold on to if you feel like you're sinking.

We're all with you, luv! Rest, gain some balance and reach out if you ever feel like you're being swallowed up. You are never alone, and there is still much good out there. Look for it.

:hug:

[roody]

49. Breathe!!! Life is short. Enjoy it.

[Mnemosyne]

50. As long as you wake up breathing, rtg, there is always

one more day of hope.

:hug:

Come back when you can. People here are mostly wonderful if you need someone to listen or a wide range of worthy advice. Sure, we are just mostly anonymous 'strangers' on a message board, but the caring, compassion, knowledge and good sense that I have observed here quite often, have made my life much richer.

I guess, for me at least, there is comfort and hope in knowing there are still some truly good people out there in the world. People that actually care enough about others to take action to do what they can to help, even if all they can do sometimes is an offer a shoulder and a sounding board.

Stay safe. Find your peace of mind. :hug: :hi: