Is it acceptable in Europe to leave very young children home alone?

[Sapphire Blue]

When parents in the US have left children home alone, society, the media, and the legal system have all expressed outrage, condemned the parents, and, in some cases, removed the children from the parents' home & filed legal charges against them.

Last month, in Portugal, Kate and Gerry McCann left their 4-yr-old daughter and their 2-yr-old twins alone while they went out to dinner. Madeleine has been missing for more than a month now. People have stepped forward offering rewards for Madeleine's return. Has there been any outrage against or condemnation of the parents? Have their twins been removed from their custody? Have legal charges been filed against the parents?

Is life so different in Europe? Is it acceptable in Europe to leave very young children home alone?

Madeleine McCann case
Tuesday May 15, 2007
Guardian Unlimited


A list of the key events in the disappearance of Madeleine McCann on Thursday May 3 at the Ocean Club in Praia da Luz.


May 3

- Kate and Gerry McCann leave their daughter Madeleine and her brother and sister, twins aged 2, in bed in their apartment while they have dinner at a nearby restaurant.
- Mrs McCann checks on them at 10pm and finds the bedroom window open and Madeleine gone. Police are alerted immediately.


(snip)


May 11

- A businessman, Stephen Winyard, offers a reward of £1m for information leading to the return of Madeleine.
- David Beckham makes a television appeal for information.


May 12

- Madeleine's fourth birthday.
- Donors including Sir Richard Branson bring the total amount of money now being offered in the search to more than £2.5m.


http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,2080070,00.html


Q&A: Madeleine McCann: http://www.guardian.co.uk/crime/article/0,,2074964,00.html

[Critters2]

1. I've wondered about this, too.

I would never leave children that young alone.

[ElizabethDC]

2. Well, they were on vacation and were eating at a restaurant 50 yards away from where the kids were

since they were on vacation, it would have been more difficult for them to find a sitter that they'd trust with their kids. Also, they were evidently eating at a restaurant about 50 yars away from the hotel where the kids were sleeping, and they checked in on the kids every half hour. It may not be the same choice that I would have made in their position, but I don't think that they were totally irresponsible.

[Sapphire Blue]

13. The restaurant was more than 100 yards away.

Don't many hotels have babysitting staff?

Yes, they said that they checked on the children every half hour, but a lot can happen during the time in between the checks.

[ElizabethDC]

15. Well, still close.

I don't know too much about the case, but I do remember reading that someone said they were uncomfortable leaving their children with a stranger.

I have no idea about hotels and babysitting staff.

[On the Road]

3. I Suspect Attitudes ARE Very Different in Europe

and different from previous generations in the US. My mother, who was an extremely attentive parent in many ways, left me sleeping in the car as an infant to go bowling with my father. This was in OK in 1955.

[NewJeffCT]

4. I was wondering that myself when I heard about the case

It's a terribly sad story, but my 4 year old daughter can open most doors. I can't imagine leaving her alone in a strange place for any length of time. Heck - not even for a quick drive to get take out food, let alone going out to a sit-down dinner.

[Pawel K]

5. Actually it is common pratice there, not at 4 years old but fairly young

I lived in Poland as a child and since my parents had to work they would leave me home alone with my little sister who was a year younger when I was around 6 - 7 years old. But we were way more mature than the kids in this country are and I was able to take care of myself and my sister at the time with no problems. My younger brother on the other hand grew up over here and I could simply not imagine leaving him home alone when he was that young. It really depends on the culture.

[chelsea0011]

6. I vaguely remember a case in the Boston area some years ago

when a couple from a Scandinavian country left their child in a stroller outside a restaurant while they went in to eat. Authorities were called and hell broke out and the parents claimed this was acceptable in their own country and were confused of all the hub bub. Anyone remember this?

[Sapphire Blue]

9. Yes, I remember that case, which is why I'm wondering if it's acceptable to leave...

... very young children home alone in Europe.

[Bjornsdotter]

10. Yes I do

They were from Denmark and they were correct, it is common there.

Cheers

[wakeme2008]

7. Not 4 but in Europe groups of kids ~13 yo will backpack / train it

around Europe without adults.

IMHO I would never leave a 4 and 2 2yo alone anywhere. Just too many problems that can crop up.

[Bjornsdotter]

8. No, but....

....it is not unusual to see a sleeping baby in a stroller or pram outside the store while the parent shops. It's also not unusual to see a baby sleeping outside for their nap.

Cheers

[spinbaby]

11. Not sure about today

I'm not sure what it's like in Europe today but, when my mother immigrated from Germany in the early 50s, she said that the idea that children had to be supervised at all times was an entirely new concept to her. Also, my father dropped out of school at the age of 13 to go biking across Europe--this was in the early 1930s.

[Gormy Cuss]

16. The idea that children had to be supervised at all times wasn't even common in the U.S. back then.

The trend here seemed to develop post-WWII and with each generation it's becoming more and more restrictive. I could guess about the set of factors that influenced it, not the least of which is the growing insularity of the American family. The generation who were raised in the 1930s and '40s will tell you that they were out of the house and away from parents as much as possible. Being home during the daylight hours meant you were sick or attending to chores.

[NewJeffCT]

20. I'm 40 years old and have lived in CT essentially my whole life...

My mom stayed at home until my younger brother entered kindegarten - I was in 3rd grade at the time.

But, at that age, I would regularly get home from school before my mom would return home from her then part time job. This was the early to mid 1970s.

Weren't we called "latch key children" at the time? I don't recall it being all that uncommon when I grew up...

It's changed since that time, however. Isn't it now illegal to leave a child under 11 or 12 home alone? I honestly blame fear created by the media.

[Gormy Cuss]

22. It's tightened up with each generation it seems.

I had a lot less unsupervised time than my parents did but a lot more than the kids in the next generation had.

I think the fear is more than just media based. Post WWII there was a massive shift from living near extended families or settling in a community for one's adult life to a far more mobile society. We've reaped some benefits from that change to be certain but we've also seen a massive shift in attitudes about community.

For your age group, "latchkey kid" was a new term and it was used to make mothers feel guilty about it, IMHO. The rhetoric as I recall was that mothers were pushing their way into the workforce, putting their own interests ahead of the family and threatening men's livelihoods and positions as head of the family. Women were getting mighty uppity at that time don't forget.

[LeftishBrit]

12. No it isn't; but this wasn't exactly leaving them 'home alone'

This was a 'family-friendly' hotel with lots of staff around, who were supposedly available and around to look out for the kids, and give them any help that they needed. Even under the circumstances, it was IMO unwise to leave the children, especially in a ground-floor room; but it's a greyer area than leaving small children totally alone at home.

[Sapphire Blue]

14. Do these 'family-friendly' hotels have babysitting staff?

How are the staff "supposedly available and around to look out for the kids, and give them any help that they needed"?

Edited to add: Is the culture/environment there so much more trusting, so much safer, that parents wouldn't conceive of anyone harming their child?

[sg_]

17. The hotel the McCanns stayed in...

had a babysitting service but as far as I recall they didnt take up the option of using a babysitter. So they left their children in the room alone, the room could not be seen from where they were eating at when their child was snatched.

[LeftishBrit]

19. I don't know about this particular hotel..

but Mark Warner, the company that runs holidays there as well as in some other places, explicitly mentions availability of child care as one of the attractions of their holidays.

http://www.markwarner.co.uk

Once again, I have no idea whether this hotel had such facilities; but there would have been a lot of staff around, who would have been (at least perceived as) able to help in an emergency.

I do also think that many British people have an excessive sense of security about holiday resorts: the attitude is that bad things can happen to you almost anywhere, but surely not on your *holidays*!

[Xithras]

18. The kids were asleep.

I've left my kids home alone, asleep, while I went over to a neighbors house or even ran up to the grocery store before. Parents generally know their kids sleeping habits, and know how likely it is that they'll wake up.

It was a family friendly area, in a hotel that catered to families. The kids were asleep, and the parents were within eyesight-distance of the hotel.

We Americans tend to get nervous because the hyperactive 24-hour news cycles keep us in a state of constant paranoia about our kids being kidnapped. In Europe, these things are still considered acceptable. Among those of us who don't buy into media hysteria, it still is in the US. I suppose that I might have a lightly different attitude if I lived in a large city with a higher desity of crazy people, but I don't. The McCann's weren't in a big city either, but were in a small seaside tourist town.

[NewJeffCT]

21. I agree with you about Americans

and just posted similar thoughts above about how the media has created a climate of fear here in the US.

From World War 2 through the end of the 1970s, we had "latch key children" here - kids that came home from school to an empty house. I did that as young as 3rd grade myself in the 1970s.

Unfortunately, the media has created a climate of fear here and I believe it is now illegal for kids to be home alone if they are under a certain age (11 or 12?)

[Xithras]

23. Actually, it ISN'T illegal in most of the country.

In California, for example, there's a common belief that it's illegal to leave a child under 14 home alone. What the law ACTUALLY SAYS is that it's illegal to leave a child under 14 alone with the intent to abandon it. There's another law making it illegal to leave ANY CHILD UNDER 18 in a situation where their life may be endangered. While there are some paranoid people (and no doubt an overzealous prosecutor or two) who would consider an 11 year old latchkey kid to be "endangered", the law actually doesn't define it that way. FWIW, my daughter got her first key to the house when she was 10. She's now 12 and routinely stays home alone for extended periods. She stayed home alone for short periods at an even younger age.

No biggie.

It IS the medias fault. They have convinced us that the world is full of child sex predators and kidnappers who are just WAITING for you to turn your back for 10 seconds so they can grab your kid and perform their evil deeds. My own sister is so paranoid that she won't let her own kids walk TWO BLOCKS to school, even though the school is on her street within eyesight of her kitchen window. She's convinced that they'll vanish if left unguarded for even 30 seconds. Of course, she's now paying the price with her oldest daughter, who is in a full-on rebellion against her mothers constant surveillance.

Time for a reality check. Despite all of the numbers trumpeting the tens of thousands, or hundreds of thousands of kids kidnapped every year, only a tiny percentage actually fit the profile of the stereotypical kidnapping (complete stranger randomly kidnapping a child for ransom, rape, or murder). The actual numbers in the United States are less than 120 in the average year (more than half are recovered alive). That number SHOULD be zero, of course, but it's important when put in context. When corrected for population growth, the statistics say that kids are no more likely to be kidnapped and killed by a stranger today than they were in those safe halcyon days of the 1950's and 1960's. My kids are in no more danger in my house than I was as a kid. CNN wants you to believe otherwise because it helps their ratings.

[NewJeffCT]

24. thanks for that information

I had thought it was illegal. I'll have to check into Connecticut's laws.