Top Ten Reasons letting Paris out of jail early is a Good Thing

[jmowreader]

10. If you thought a SANE Paris would be a handful for the guards to deal with, one having a nervous breakdown would be far worse.

9. Paris' release frees up a bed for someone who really needs it, like a meth dealer or a Bush appointee.

8. No chance now for Paris to sue the LA Municipal Jail over broken nose suffered in prison brawl.

7. There are better uses for scarce tax revenues than feeding and sheltering a billionaire heiress for 45 days.

6. Hearts breaking in the publishing industry as contract for "My Struggle Behind Bars" book has to be torn up.

5. Does Paris Hilton REALLY need to know how to make Pruno?

4. Performance rider for "LA County Jail Show Chorus featuring Paris Hilton" World Tour contains really bizarre requirements like "promoter must provide transportation between concert venue and local prison for entire cast."

3. If Shrub's still at large, I see no reason why Paris shouldn't be also.

2. Paris' backup band won't fit in a standard jailhouse shower room, and she can't sing without them.

And the number-one reason...

1. No "Paris In The Pokey: Day 38" teaser on Faux!

[wildhorses]

1. david --

is that you;)

:applause:

[jmowreader]

3. It's not David. I wrote it myself.

[wildhorses]

5. well, david called

something about wanting to use it tonight:bounce:

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

2. Reason 11: No one wants to see her on prison-toilet sangria.

[lapfog_1]

4. "WhoreSkank Redemption screenplay is already done...." - n/t

[jobycom]

6. Heh! Not bad, not bad. Actually

pretty damned good! :applause:

[gatorboy]

7. They painted the bars to look like penises and she kept chipping her teeth.

Emergency dental work and all that.

How don't look at me, that's Silverman's material! :P

[Bake]

8. Pretty good!! Letterman himself would be proud!

But I gotta disagree with Number 7. The benefit of feeding and sheltering Paris (who doesn't eat that much, really, and doesn't take up that much room either) is not so much in the feeding/sheltering but in the EXAMPLE that would be made, even if only to give the huddled masses satisfaction with the ILLUSION that the rich actually get the same justice they do!

Bake

[madinmaryland]

9. Reason Number one is wrong....

1. It's going to be .. "Paris In Home Detention: Day 38" teaser on Faux!

[jmowreader]

10. "Paris In Home Detention" doesn't have the same ring

Admit it: when you saw "Paris In The Pokey" you got a chuckle.

[madinmaryland]

11. I know, but Fox Noise is going to beat it to death anyhow.

That is a good one though!! :thumbsup:

[ElboRuum]

12. Funny, but on a serious note...

I'm brimming with glee with the fact that Paris is in jail right now.

I know I'm probably projecting a lot on this little victim of her own chosen circumstance, but she is the archetype of unearned privilege and entitlement, and as such, a legitimate target of my loathing.

She epitomizes the inequity of treatment between rich and poor with regard to the legal system.

Her attitude is one of knowing that no matter what she does, she will suffer little consequences, legal or otherwise, because daddy's checkbook solves everything.

Celebrity can be achieved simply by having a lot of money and being notorious. You don't actually have to possess talent or skill.

A generation can emulate and allow itself to be defined by the role models they find in their famous membership. Paris is helping to convince yet another group of impressionable youths that beauty and a silver spoon lodged in the gob begets special privilege. If you have these, why do anything important or constructive?

She encourages the attitude that you don't have to be behave in any socially acceptable manner if you've got bucks enough to afford the appetites of an entourage of sycophants willing to come to your defense.

In short, her attitude SUCKS.

That little creep's never done a day's work in her life (without the explicit intention of fucking it up on The Simple Life) and neither have any of her cabal of equally overprivileged, silly, plasticine, vacuous little douchenozzles posing as her friends. While I don't begrudge her the obvious benefit of being born into a family of obscene privilege, I do begrudge her what she's done with it. I also fault her parents for the indulgence in her behavior which obviously leads to her present predicament. If you teach someone that all you have to do is call mommy and daddy every time you get into trouble, can you really expect them to ever behave with an ounce of class or responsibility?

And call it Schadenfreude if you like, but I love it when a person who thinks themselves above responsibility and therefore reproach gets a reality check like this.

I know it's probably pie-in-the-sky wishing, but maybe this little DUI stint she's doing will at least give her the impetus to think about what she did and how mom and dad couldn't get her out of it, and maybe, just maybe, her attitude will change a bit.

I'm not holding my breath, though.

[Poiuyt]

13. You do know that she was released from prison today, don't you?

[ElboRuum]

17. I do now.

And once again, our vaunted justice system proves only that it is a system, not that it contains any justice.

[dweller]

14. great job!

:thumbsup:

mind if i share it?
dp

[TahitiNut]

15. Well, she's following in the footsteps of a President and Vice President.

"Paris Hilton for President in 2020!"

[intaglio]

16. Many more reasons

She was dragging the tone of the whole place down
The guards won't have to put up with the moaning, groaning and other signs of faked orgasm
Other prisoners won't be driven mad by her fingernail on chalkboard giggle
Her dog won't have to walk again
Exterminators can clear up the infestation of genital lice
Her psychiatrist will be able to get that 100ft yacht
Her dealer will have a bigger profit margin