"TB Guy Tops Bush in New Poll" (ANDY BOROWITZ)

[Nikki Stone1]

In the latest erosion of President George W. Bush’s job approval rating, a new poll released today reveals that Mr. Bush is now less popular among the American people than the so-called “TB Guy,” Atlanta attorney Andrew Speaker.

While the president’s approval numbers have been in a virtual free-fall in recent months, few political insiders expected him to be trounced by Mr. Speaker, who has been accused of exposing airline passengers to tuberculosis.

Additionally, the poll results are historic in another way, since they mark the first time that a sitting president has been deemed less popular than a quarantined disease carrier.

Perhaps in an attempt to change the subject, President Bush participated in a ceremony today in which he declared victory over peace activist Cindy Sheehan.

Posing in front of a banner reading “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” on the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln, Mr. Bush said that Ms. Sheehan’s departure from the peace movement means “I won’t have to spend this August in Crawford hiding in the barn.”

www.borowitzreport.com