Dallas Women's Guide to Gold-Digging With Pride

[kurth]

June 6, 2007
CAN YOU DIG IT?
Going for the gold
You have to use the right bait if you want to land a rich fish - er, husband
By EILEEN McCLELLAND

Hunting for a rich husband? Think camouflage, but not the woodsy kind - unless, of course, you're at a rattlesnake roundup, prime husband-hunting grounds in Texas. In an urban milieu, you've got to look prosperous enough to blend in with your prey's elite social circle. For example, drive a leased Lexus only if you can't borrow a Mercedes.

J.C. Conklin, author of a snarky new novel about Texas women and their pursuit of a rich husband, advises that even spiritual matters matter. Choose a popular Texas religion, Methodist or Baptist. And don't hesitate to resort to plastic surgery. At the very least, bleach. "You should have long hair and if you can, be blond, be blond,'' says Conklin, author of The Dallas Women's Guide to Gold-Digging With Pride (Ballantine, $22.95). "Every man I've ever talked to has never described a woman who's blond as mousy.''

In the satirical novel, ex-New Yorker Jenny Barton, 29, works for a frumpy female boss-from-hell at the Wall Street Journal's Dallas bureau. Recovering from a recent split from slacker journalist Rafe and under the influence of her blond, husband-hunting roommate, Aimee, Jenny attempts to lure a rich Texan or two. There are certain parallels to the author's life. During Conklin's four years in Dallas, as a reporter for the Wall Street Journal and then the Dallas Morning News, she was surprised to meet women in their 20s stalking wealthy men in their spare time. Women who wear stilettos to shop at Whole Foods. Who liposuction their uncooperative thighs to squeeze into size-4 Vera Wang wedding gowns. Who order room service for their traveling boyfriends to make sure they're spending the night where they say they are.

Born in Houston, Conklin grew up in upstate New York and graduated from the University of Washington in Seattle with a degree in comparative religion. Landing in Dallas was a culture shock. The women she met weren't hunting for just any husband, but the super-rich variety. To that end, they underwent plastic surgery, starved themselves, bought clothes they couldn't afford and even popped pain killers so they could sleep with guys they found revolting. (Sexy and rich is not that common a combination, Conklin's characters lament.) "Some of it's exaggerated but a lot of it is what people told me," said Conklin, now 29 and living in Austin. "There is a high premium on looks. I don't think that's exaggerated. There is a high premium on tracking the men. There has been breaking and entering, or breaking into e-mail at the very least." ...

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/4868087.html

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Dress for Success
Author J.C. Conklin offers the following tips for what to wear while husband-hunting.

Heels: At all costs.
Bra: The pushup is best.
Hair: Long and blond, if at all possible.
Thong: Always, and it should match the bra.
Accessories: Now is not the time for big jewelry or purses. Both scream high maintenance to men.
Makeup: Most men don't even realize you're wearing it. They think you naturally look that good. Now is not the time for them to find out otherwise.
Know your strengths: If you have good legs or arms, show them off.
But remember: Dress like the girlfriend, not the one-night stand.

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[gollygee]

1. Is that what passes for Pride these days?

*sigh*

[Mojambo]

2. Pretty fucking disgusting. n/t

[Captain Hilts]

3. Land one and you end up having to live in....Dallas! NO WAY! nt