I think I stumbled on the best alcohol deterrent technique for kids

[Stuckinthebush]

My 10 year old daughter was just asking my wife and me about alcohol and how it is made. We drink beer and wine and used to make it as a hobby, so I was explaining it to her.

I said, "Alcohol is a by-product of yeast and sugar."

Daughter: "What do you mean by by-product?"

Me: "Well yeast is a fungus and it 'eats' sugar and excretes CO2 and alcohol."

She is quiet for a minute and then looks up in horror saying, "Oh my god! Oh my god!"

Me: "What? What is wrong?"

Daughter: "Alcohol is yeast poop! You are drinking yeast poop! I'm never going to drink yeast poop!"

She runs away screaming to her sisters about yeast poop and we hear faint sounds of "gross!"

My wife looks at me, smiles, and says, "You should sell that technique."

:D

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

1. Wait till she learns about honey. -nt

[Stuckinthebush]

2. Ha! She is already a vegetarian...

that'll make her a vegan for sure.

[htuttle]

3. LOL! That's exactly why I don't like to eat honey

It comes out of a bug's ass!

[Pharaoh]

6. but do you have a problem

eating a cows ass :rofl:

[BrotherBuzz]

10. Honey starts out as bee barf, not poop

Bee poop is the stuff we find glued to our windshields.

[Igel]

15. Actually it's more like bug vomit. n/t

[Viva_La_Revolution]

4. that's really good! I have a technique however that will last into their early 20's...

I stumbled upon this when I was 4.

Have a party, with booze flowing freely. Let your child creep and sneak around the room sipping out of people's glasses when they aren't looking. Your child will then learn who the "porcelain god" is and will not touch alcohol again until approx. age 22.


Of course, no-one 'let' me. I was a sneaky kid. :evilgrin:

edit: corrected tense

[Stuckinthebush]

8. Yes, I think we can start a manual

Step one...talk to child about yeast poop

Step two...as they get older and more adventuresome, let them get wasted and spend a night at the commode

They will be drinking sparkling water at bars for the rest of their lives!

[Cleita]

9. Works on some kids, but others become alcoholics by age of

thirteen. In my house, since we drank wine with lunch, I was given a glass of wine that was about a teaspoon of wine in water. As I got older the teaspoon increased and the water decreased. By the time I was a teenager, I was given a full glass of wine with lunch. It was impressed on me that alcohol should be consumed with meals as a food item, not an entertainment medium.

Since my dinner was our tea time, I was an adult before I ever drank in the evening with dinner. So I had a different perspective of alcohol and was shocked at the binging partying that occurred when I went to college because it was impressed on me that drunkeness or being high was not the purpose of wine or spirits. It was to help the digestion of your meal.

[Warpy]

20. I was allowed a juice glass of beer with meals

when I was growing up. It was a good alternative to the milk I was allergic to and the fake fruit drinks and soda pop my mother didn't approve of.

I didn't discover its pyschoactive properties until I was 13. I was over it by 15.

"No tolerance" anti drinking laws don't work and they're insulting to a lot of responsible families in this country. Nothing is more exciting to a kid than a forbidden pleasure.

I'd like to see a more European model here: lower the drinking age, raise the driving age. Make alcohol served in the home exempt from regulation unless one of the drinkers gets behind the wheel of a car, in which case that home is liable.

Let kids discover what alcohol does to their coordination BEFORE they have access to cars, not after.

[rucky]

5. Ain't the truth great! n/t

[rusty charly]

7. Slurm

http://www.tv.com/futurama/show/249/reviews.html?review_id=27366&flag=1

[Cirque du So-What]

11. Reminds me of a dialogue between Edith & Gloria

on All in the Family. Edith tells Gloria that Archie was disgusted at the suggestion of a sandwich made from cow's tongue. 'Archie said he wouldn't eat anything that had been in a cow's mouth. Gloria asked, 'so, what did you put in his lunchbox?' Edith replied, 'a coupla hard-boiled eggs.'

[applegrove]

12. Cute!

[mondo joe]

13. By the time they drink it, they may not mind the yeast poop so much. IMO, the big

problem with any of these ways to try to steer kids clear of certain activities is that people fail to mention to kids that it feels GOOD.

[Iris]

21. ha! My mom was on to something then!

After she explained sex to me, I asked her why anyone would want to do that and she replied, "Some people say it feels good." (She was also ahead of FOX NEWS with her "some people approach"!)

[mondo joe]

22. That's hysterical - but good for her!!

The thing is that most parents try to warn kids away from doing things they wouldn't want to do anyway at that age -- but they rarely REALLY equip them by telling them the reason people do those things is that they feel good.

[Iris]

26. exactly.

Telling them that could lead to discussions about why it's best to carefully consider engaging in some activities because once you start it's hard to stop.

[pansypoo53219]

14. pfft

i go with not making it taboo. got to try everybody's stuff when younger. drank up a bottle of brandy my mom got. drink very little. only time even close to tpisy i was about 11. pink squirrels are deceptive.

[Stuckinthebush]

19. Oh it wasn't intentional

We drink beer and wine around them and try to teach them that if they do when they get older they need to be responsible.

It was just funny because of the reaction she had.

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

16. don't forget to tell her how "mules" transport cocaine n/t

[Igel]

17. Yeast pee, to be ever so slightly precise (and no more than 'ever so slightly').

While my parents never stumbled upon this way of describing alcohol, I stumbled upon it as a way of framing cheese. I hate cheddar, bleu cheese, and just about any cheese that's not white and bland. Essentially, if it's been touched by fungi I don't want it, not because of the fungi, but because I think it tastes rotten. Having had the science teacher in school explain how cheese was made ...

"Don't take the cheese out of your cheese sandwich!"
"But dad, it's milk with all kinds of dead mold and mold crap in it. Can't I just have a glass of milk?"
"Don't say 'crap' and don't be a smart-ass. Eat your cheese."

If the idea of yeast waste products offends your daughter, above all don't let her learn about cheese. Or soy sauce.

[bamacrat]

18. Yes and how do you make marijuana?

Just pick it, dry it, and smoke it. This is one of the things I dont understand about our "drug laws", something that has to be refined and created like alcohol (as does cocaine, heroin, extacy, meth, etc) yet something that is ready to use straight out of the ground is not. Oh our just nation.

:smoke: :smoke: :smoke:

[Cha]

24. They can't make any

money off it..boo hoo :nopity:

[bamacrat]

27. On the contrary they could make shitloads.

The government could make and save billions, go to this link.

http://www.prohibitioncosts.org/

[Uben]

23. Wine did it for me at age 17

...and to this day, I have never touched another drop! That was 35 yrs ago! I drank two bottles of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill, ate mexican food, and went to a dance. I puked (or I should say heaved) for 4 hrs straight the next morning! Just the smell of wine makes me wanna hurl! Any wine!

Crown Royal, well that's a different matter all together. We's friends.

[GreenPartyVoter]

25. I love it! I am gonna steal it for my lil GreenBoys