How to tell if you're a religious nutcase

[Rocknrule]

(the new and improved list, add yours if you want)

- You feel the world owes you a favor and claim persecution when it doesn't live up to it.
- When reality and the Bible contradict, you accuse reality of being wrong.
- You believe one's political party determines their salvation.
- You believe every human life is sacred, but are willing to destroy it if said life belongs to a liberal, Jew, Muslim, atheist, homosexual, or feminist.
- You believe the universe revolves around the earth and all human affairs.
- You believe that a fertilized egg is more of a human being than the woman who carries it.
- You relish in telling people they are going to Hell, the more trivial the offense the better.
- You propose the idealogy that it doesn't matter how we treat the planet, as God will make a new one if we break this toy.
- You think that if God didn't exist, you'd be a suicidal drug-abusing criminal, because apparently the promise of a reward in the afterlife is the only thing worth being a decent person for.
- You call people fascists for opposing a religious totalitarian government.
- You attribute all the world's woes to arbitrary groups of people.
- You find pretty much anything that people do for fun to be sinful.
- You think the Jesus in Near Death Experiences is an imposter because he wasn't a judgemental prick like yourself.
- You think ‘liberal’, ‘atheist’ and ‘satan’ all mean the same thing.
- You think America was founded for Christians only.
- You think Bush has spoken directly with God.
- You call for a boycott of telephone and electric companies because they inevitably provide services to homosexuals.
- You are incapable of finding humor in anything except human suffering.
- You think you're going to be part of the .0000001% of humanity going to Heaven watching everyone who ever annoyed you, beat you at baseball, or proved you wrong logically burn in eternal torment and suffering. You also beleive that pride and wrath are sins.
- You'd rather change the english language to include "nucular" than admit that your president looks like a moron.
- You list sins in the following order of importance: Homosexuality; Abortion; Disbelief in any aspect of the bible; 'Belief' in evolution; Pedophila (unless church-related); Liberalism; Atheism; Communism; Promiscuity (particularly holding hands); Theft; Being foreign; Drinking alcohol (unless it's the blood of Christ). Only then will you reluctantly bother to acknowledge: Murder; Rape; Incest; Nazism; Infanticide; War; Genocide.
- You assume everyone in the bible was white because you cannot conceive that holy men would be of another race
- You're homophobic, but take great pleasure in graphic descriptions of anal sex.
- Your favorite debate tactic is putting your fingers in your ears and going LA LA LA LA LA I CANT HEAR YOU STUPID HEATHEN LA LA LA LA LA LA
- You're not a mysogynist; if you hated women you wouldn't want to own one
- You're not a homophobe; if you were afraid of gays you wouldn't hunt them down and beat the *beep* out of them
- You think Hitler is in heaven because he believed in Jesus but all the Jews he killed are in hell because they didn't
- You think 9/11, Katrina, Virginia Tech, and soldier deaths in Iraq were God's wrath against America for not putting gays in death camps

[zanne]

1. I think the list is complete...

But you never know. Thanks for the update.

[deepthought42]

2. Good list...

I'd also include if they went to any bible college (and actually wanted to go there, I knew a couple people that didn't want to).

[Rocknrule]

3. My best friend is a moderate Christian and wants to go to Liberty

I don't know if he's fully aware of the Taliban-esque rules there, but it scares me that he actually wants to attend such a fundie college.

[deepthought42]

5. *GASP* Lynchburg sucks...

And I went to the soon-to-be-extinct liberal arts woman's college there... Needless to say, the Liberty people are not fond of us, because we were apparently a bunch of "whores on the hill" (and I'm not making that phrase up). Going to wal-mart (or even B&N, being near the L"U" campus) was always an experience... :scared:

[deadmessengers]

4. Awesome. Rec'd n/t

[Javaman]

6. I have an easier test...

Just check for a kool-ade stain on the upper lip.

:rofl:

[mike_c]

7. rec'd-- fantastic list....

eom

[Gregorian]

8. Phew! I was worried. But alas, I'M NORMAL. Well, sort of.

As normal as I can be. Which is actually very different.


Thank you. Because I consider myself a Christian. But to be honest, hanging out on DU I am gradually feeling like I am more accepted than not.


Thank God I'm not a fundy! :)

[siligut]

9. Great list but...

if you are righteous enough it doesn’t matter. You just don’t get God’s real purpose. Being a religious nutcase gets you jobs, helps feed your family, gives you friends and backup. Sharing the same delusion makes for tight social groups.

It also reduces mankind to a bunch of dependent and fearful fools. Mission accomplished.

[hfojvt]

10. If you like to stereotype people?

Is the RN supposed to follow the whole list, or just one of them?