'When They Say... It Really Means...'

[Oeditpus Rex]

Remember that old MAD Magazine bit? Shall we create the DU version?



When they say... "Support the troops!"

It really means... "If we pull out of Iraq, that'll leave W to deal with domestic issues, and then we'll be forced to admit he's a worthless assbucket."



Go! :bounce:

[Coexist]

1. when they say, "they hate us for our freedoms"

it really means, "they hate us for raping their country's natural resources and taking the profits back to the fine upstanding malls of America."

[Sparkly]

2. Fun!

When they say "robust economy," it means another trillion added to the national debt.

When they say "progress on the ground" in Iraq, it means a new building lasted for over 72 hours before being destroyed again.

When they say "Bill of Rights," it means pigs are flying over frozen Hell.

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

3. when they say "We're for family values"

It really means-We're for family values when we can trash Democrats but we ignore the divorces, affairs, and hypocrisy of our own repuke candidates.

[rurallib]

4. When they say "personal accountability"

it really means "this is a nice way to hide our racism and keep the poor broke and under our thumbs"

[Arkana]

5. When they say "We hate activist judges!"...

it really means "We hate LIBERAL judges who don't rule the way we want in high-profile cases, but we don't mind if some right-wing nutjob tries to paint a case with his own personal and political beliefs."

When they say "We support life!"...

they really mean "We want to save fetuses so all you cancer, Alzheimer's, and other patients with rare and incurable diseases have to DIE!"

When they say "Evolution and global warming are junk science!"...

they really mean "I clearly have a political motive and am desperately trying to whitewash it AND win votes at the same time by appealing to the amazingly ignorant!"

When they say "Democrats will hesitate in the face of terror attacks and are too weak to lead the country!"

they really mean "Oh god the Democrats might use diplomacy to win back our allies so we can ACTUALLY combat terrorism more effectively and we can't have that because Dick Cheney needs to see a nuclear holocaust before his tenth heart transplant gives out on him."

When they say "George W. Bush is the kind of guy you'd sit down and have a beer with."

they really mean "George W. Bush is an overprivileged, uninterested spoiled brat and a moron who cannot read past a third-grade level, and we are desperately trying to whitewash this glaring problem by playing up 'folksiness' to people who aren't interested enough to read into it."

[TahitiNut]

6. When they say... "American interests"

It really means... "'The Bhopal Principle': Forcing other nations to grant permanent ownership of public resources to global corporate conglomerates for unlimited profits and miniscule royalties. with little or no taxation. liability, or regulation."

[WinkyDink]

7. 1. Anything bad refers to themselves; 2. Anything good refers to its total opposite.

[aikoaiko]

8. When they say, " Have a blessed day"

they mean, "Get fucked, you bastard."