Outsourcing The President....

[northofdenali]

Received from a very creative friend yesterday.............

Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency....

Washington, DC (AP) - Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of July 1, 2007. The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead the office has incurred during the last 5 years. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge. " stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay." Reynolds noted.

Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the office of President as of July 1, 2007. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month but with no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night, when few offices of the US Government will be open.

"Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as President Bush was not familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concern s without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to limited practical or successful work experience.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

(mods, if this needs to be moved to the Lounge, no problem - and thanks for the tough job you do)

[damntexdem]

1. LOL! Sent on to others.

And recommended for Greatest Posts.

[Az]

2. The Repugs outsourced the pres years ago

They didn't want to allow the power of the office to rest in someone who they did not control. So they stopped nominating people of any intelligence beyond what was necessary to stand before the cameras and look pretty. Concentrating real power behind the office instead.

[northofdenali]

3. Hey, AZ, waitaminnit -

there hasn't BEEN a Republican president since Eisenhower!! :P

[Az]

4. Damn! All my years of research blown

Why couldn't you have told me earlier?!?

Love the pic of the cat. :D

[northofdenali]

5. That's my Sugar. All my cats hate Bush,

but she has the true "attitude", dontcha know.............

Yes, yes, Nixon was a crook, and then they started putting in robots like Ronnie Raygun..... then clones.....

[Richard Steele]

6. K&R for a fine idea whose time has come!

[northofdenali]

7. Thank you, Mr. Steele - our nation would surely benefit!

And think how much status that would give our good friend and ally, India! :P