How Bush Can Save the GOP and His Own Legacy

[DaveT]

Warning: Satire

Liberate Iraq!

Iraq is now a failed state without a legitimate central government, and the fledgling government that exists is heavily infiltrated by terrorist double agents, Islamic fundamentalists, death squads and thieves. Due to this ineffectual and sometimes collusive government, terrorists and anti-American jihadists have almost free rein throughout the country. There is no meaningful border security in either direction, allowing terrorists to bring weapons into and out of the country almost at will.

This profile is exactly what the Bush Doctrine is all about. For decades we have tolerated local governments across the middle east that cannot or will not suppress terrorists within their territory. The events of September 11 proved that our indulgence of these failed states and their kleptocratic governments poses a grave threat to our national security as they provide a breeding ground and safe haven for terrorist organization. If we had taken decisive action during the Clinton years, September 11 would have never happened, and the Bush Administration is firmly on record for ending this squeamish failure to defend our country.

The only sensible remedy for the United States to meet this existential threat to our way of life posed by Iraq is Regime Change.

President Bush really missed a bet when he did not think of following his own policy toward the failed state of Iraq before the Congressional Elections. Had he done so, he'd probably still be dealing with a Republican Congress. Now, the only hope for saving his party -- and, not incidentally, saving his own reputation in history -- is to nip this terrorist haven in the bud.

American power is useless unless we use it, and the pyramiding chaos in Iraq is more than just a terrorist threat. It is a symbol of everything that is wrong with liberal weakness in the face of adversity. To allow this sham government to continue on its bumbling, corrupt course will send a signal to all the other dictators, kings, poobahs and satraps of the region -- America is but a pitiful, helpless giant, totally unable to summon the will to protect itself.

With Iraq serving as the exemplar of a failed state, we can expect the rest of the countries in the middle east to fall like a line of dominoes, one after another, turning the region into a massive Terrorstan -- hundreds of millions strong, holding trillions of dollars worth of petroleum reserves as the financial base for the final Clash of Civilizations.

No, this must not happen to our great country, the last, best hope of mankind. We shall never surrender to the terrorist menace projected by maniacs whose only motivation is hatred of America and our way of life.

We must invade Iraq and execute a Regime Change before it is too late!

Some readers may point out that this already happened in 2003. Of course, we all know that reality has a well known liberal bias, but that kind of cynical defeatism has no place in 21st Century America. The Bush Administration creates its own reality now, and when the journalists and loser liberals are busy studying yesterday's Bush reality, the Administration is already moving on to create a brand new one.

So the answer to the apparent dilemma in Iraq can be found in the Bill Murray motion picture called Groundhog's Day. America should wake up one morning to find that the President has taken decisive action to rid the world of the terrorist haven in Iraq. The cruise missiles will fly; the bombers will rain death; the TV networks will cover it all with maps and charts and lots of that green tinted night vision photography.

Like the late, great Richard Nixon -- when cornered, Dubya Bush will come out swinging. And woe to the assorted liberals, democrats, cowards and terrorist sympathizers who try to make light of his bold stroke to protect our country from another Nine Eleven. No indictment for Maliki and his feckless, terrorist coddling government -- they started this war, but we are going to finish it!

The terrorists and the world wonder if America has what it takes to respond to Nine Eleven. They can look to the ruins of Baghdad and get their answer!

[LiberalFighter]

1. If he jumped into an active volcano?