My Step-Father is living "Sicko"

[Clark2008]

My step-father is in critical condition at a local hospital - he is on life support.

He came down with an infection in his prostate over the weekend which has escalated into septic shock and shut down his kidneys.

The hospital is putting him on dialysis in hopes of restarting his kidney function so that he can take more medication to rid his body of the infection. We should know more in 24-48 hours.

And, that's not all. Since Tennessee's governor did away with much of TennCare for those who aren't offered it at work, he also has no health insurance. My parents were trying to find private insurance since Ron's employer doesn't offer it and were unsuccessful in finding anything they could afford. My mother has diabetes, an existing condition that pretty much priced the average working person out of being able to afford private health care. I really don't know how we're going to pay for everything.

Does anyone know of any charities that help fund catastrophic medical expenses? I tried to do some Googling this morning and can't find anything immediately. I have to go run some errands for my mother - I can't really spend time at the hospital with her because I have a newborn and an 8-year-old who aren't allowed in the ICU waiting room. I can only go to the hospital in the evenings when my husband is home to watch the children.

I can come back and check this thread later for some ideas. I'll be happy to do all the submissions for consideration for my mother since I'm at home on maternity leave right now.

The hospital is trying to get my step-Dad on Medicaid and disability and is providing information about their charity that helps with this sort of thing, but I want to apply to other charities, as well.

Any ideas, thoughts, prayers, good thoughts are appreciated.

My parents only have their house and cars - no other assets. And, should my step-Dad pass, my mother would have to sell the house and move in with us, which is fine, but we wouldn't want the sell of her house to be eaten up by medical expenses - she has to live on something and cannot work full time, which is why she'd have to sell the house. She's 58 and won't be able to collect his social security for two more years.

[Clark2008]

1. Thanks for the two recommends.

Bumping up this thread before I have to go.

[AC4508]

14. SICKO

The Tenth Congressional District Democrats in Illinois are having a showing of the movie SICKCO coming up if anybody in north suburban Chicago is interested!

[dogday]

30. Welcome To Du AC4508

What a great thing for the Democrats to do... :thumbsup:

[orleans]

32. where is it? do you know? & welcome to du! n/t

[orleans]

34. never mind. i found it. (it's a little out of my way)

http://www.tenthdems.org/

[yardwork]

2. I'm very sorry for your family's troubles.

By law, hospitals are not allowed to deny emergency services because of inability to pay. I suggest that you continue advocating for your step-father to receive the best possible care, and let the hospital worry about the bills for now. Go ahead and fill out the paperwork they provide to help get your step-dad covered by Medicaid, disability, and the hospital charity. This is all beneficial to the hospital as well as your family, as it will help the hospital get paid.

When you have time to think about this in the future, you can help your mother negotiate with the hospital to arrange a payment plan. Hospitals regularly write off a lot of costs as unreimbursed charity care.

Our health system is a mess. Do not let it burden you right now. Focus on your parents' wellbeing. Best of luck to you and them.

[Clark2008]

3. That's what we're doing and have filled out the paperwork.

It's just so sudden and, since it was my mother who had all the healthcare problems, we had made arrangements if something were to happen to her, but not the other way around. My step-father was as healthy as a horse. This is so sudden.

I just don't understand how a man could work all day on Saturday and be dying by Tuesday. It's just so alarming how fast this happened.

Thank you for your kind words.

[yardwork]

5. A similar thing happened to my father. I remember how shocking it felt.

Hugs to you and your family.

[SammyWinstonJack]

10. Happened to my Dad, too. He recovered after a week in the hospital.

[Clark2008]

12. The hospital is bringing my step-dad up out of the induced coma

now.

He was somewhat responsive to my Mom when she got to go see him this morning. His kidneys haven't started working on their own, yet, but it hasn't even been 24 hours since they started dialysis. Hopefully, this is working.

[malaise]

24. Good sign

Good luck. When did profits matter so much more than people?

[SammyWinstonJack]

42. I hope the best for your step dad!

:hug:

[EFerrari]

11. That's excellent advice imho, yardwork. Best to your family, Clark2008

kick

[proud2BlibKansan]

4. My son had a medical crisis and had no health insurance

And the hospital was wonderful about the bill. They eventually found a private foundation to pay for it. So don't give up on the hospital. I was very surprised at how wonderful they were for my son.

[Clark2008]

8. That's so great to hear.

I am trying to worry about this end of it for my Mom so that she and my step-father's children can worry about him.

Since I'm home on maternity leave, it also gives me time to do some work for her - like filing out forms and searching for charities that do this sort of thing. I go back to work the first week of August, thus my request to find some of these organizations quickly so I can get to work on that before I have to go back to my job. I have to work, as well, not that I want to - I'd rather stay at home with my kids and be able to help my Mom, but, unfortunately, we can't afford my not working, either.

It's a mess.

[proud2BlibKansan]

15. I am really sorry to hear about your stepfather

Hope he gets better! :hug:

[progressoid]

16. also...

I know someone that used to work as a hospital office employee. She said very few people know you can negotiate your bill. Most people just assume you have to pay what they say.
Insurance companies negotiate prices all the time - so can you.

[midnight]

6. You are right in the middle of watching your family be sickoed.

With a brand new baby and another young child you are busy. I wish for this situation to get better for you and your family. Please stay patient with the process you are going through. People need to hear about these realities to because the policies that are in place right now-are not working. Does the hospital have a patients advocacy person who will talk to you. When you have a breather call the hospital and ask to speak with a patients rights or patient liaison.

[area51]

7. k&r

My best wishes to you & your family. No one should have to go through worrying like this during a health crisis.

[Clark2008]

13. Just saw your sig line.

Where do you live? Are you willing to relocate?

I work for a computer training school and we have job postings all the time for Linux/Unix SysOps. I'd be happy to check for you when I return to work.

[rox63]

9. Talk to the hospital's social worker

A hospital social worker helped us get Medicaid to cover my Dad's final hospital stay. He didn't have any health insurance, and he suffered a massive (and fatal) stroke.

[Warpy]

17. Ask the nurses to contact social services

Hospitals all employ social workers to help patients figure out how to pay the bills, and those bills will get paid. For instance, shut down kidneys should qualify him for the state's short term disability. He'll have to spend down to whatever the state will allow him to keep, which will be painful, but Medicaid will then step in and he won't be in debt for perpetuity. Talk to the social worker about options outside the systems the hospital is already using. There aren't many, I'm afraid.

Either way, staying alive today means sacrificing whatever he had saved for retirement. It truly is "your money or your life," and that is why we want it changed. Your folks will need your help now, and that is a hard burden for any parent.

The good news is that kidney failure from extremely low blood pressure from any cause is generally short lived. He'll be on dialyisis only temporarily, in other words, and his kidneys should recover if there was no other underlying kidney disease.

[SoCalDem]

18. Hugs to you, Clarkie :) I hope your step-dad gets better soon

Doesn't it just make you furious? People work their entire lives to get a home & a little security, and ONE illness can take it all away?

You might also call the patient advocate at the hospital and see if they can work with you. We spent years paying hospitals for one of our sons, and as long as we made some kind of payment every month, they were ok with it..

It scares the crap out of us too..
Thom Hartmann did a show a while back about how this is the "next step" for Boomers.. The medical industry is drooling over the "Greatest transfer of wealth" in history when the boomers lose their homes & property as an exchange for health services in the time between unaffordable insurance & the onset of medicare.

The most vulnerable time is from 55-65. That 10 year span is when people get downsized/outsourced, and bumped into uaffordable/unavailable coverage at the same time illnesses start to manifest themselves.

If you can manage to stay alive until 65, you may be ok, but one illness for husband or wife in that timeframe, and you are done..game over..you get to start over at the most vulnerable time of your life :grr:

We've already decided that in the next year or so, we will sell our house and take the profit and have our three sons "buy" a house for us, which we will then "rent". The rent money will go into a savings account .

It seems to be the only way we can protect ourselves so we have a roof over our heads and our sons will inherit what we have anyway, so it makes sense to do it sooner, rather than later..

[Dora]

19. Try modestneeds.org for financial assistance.

http://www.modestneeds.org/help/

[DeepModem Mom]

20. K&R

[AndreaCG]

21. I don't have any further suggestions

But good luck and I hope like some other posters have experienced that he has a quick and full recovery.

[4_TN_TITANS]

22. Both my inlaws are living it

They are learning the cost of complacency and just how quickly the Moral Majority drops people when their luck turns south. That donut hole in the drug plan is what's killing them the most.

[SharonRB]

23. Clark...

I'm so sorry to hear this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. I know it can't be easy for you right now with Hannah's recent birth. Your mother is my age (well, in a couple of months, anyway) -- I can't even imagine what it must be like to have to go through this at such a young age.

[FloridaJudy]

25. I agree: try to contact the hospital's social worker

Some state/local governments have a "medically needy" program for those who don't otherwise qualify for public assistance, but require hospitalization for serious injury or illness. My one time next-door-neighbor got it when he was badly burned in an accident. A savvy social worker can help.

Of course, you have to be lucky in what social worker you get. I once had one who responded to my need for specialized care that was not covered by my insurance by suggesting I sell my house! This was at a private "not for profit" hospital, that demanded money up front before admitting me. It turned out the woman was full of it. Another facility offered the same treatment at reduced cost, and was willing to allow me to make minimal payments.

But it can't hurt to ask for help.

[Patsy Stone]

26. K&R

I'm very sorry to hear about this. It's shocking to read about let alone try and deal with it while you're head is spinning. There are a lot of great suggestions in this thread, and I wish I had more to offer, but do not give up on getting the hospital to help. Sadly, yours is not the first family to go through this, and even sadder, they won't be the last.

:hug:

[IChing]

27. kick, nominated . I don't have the answer.

[Clark2008]

28. Just a note to let everyone know he passed on today.

His body just gave out from the infection.

[Kadie]

29. I am so sorry.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

:hug:

[IndyOp]

33. I am so sorry... My thoughts are with you and your family.

:(

[orleans]

35. oh clark2008--that's so sad. i'm so very sorry. holding you and

your mom close in my thoughts tonight.

what a shock for you (after reading this thread--it sounds as if all this was so unexpected)

again--i'm so sorry.

:hug: :cry: :grouphug: :hug:

[Clark2008]

38. It was a shock.

He went to the hospital Saturday night and they gave him antibiotics and sent him home. He wasn't better by Sunday night and went back to the ER - they finally admitted him, which obviously did no good.

His brother thinks they turned him away, pretty much, the first time he went because he had no insurance. I wouldn't doubt that.

Doctors aren't miracle workers, but, my God, what perfectly healthy person dies of a sudden infection in this day and age? I understand if the body is ravaged with other disease, but he had NOTHING wrong with him - no cancer, didn't smoke, didn't drink and worked six days a week. His BP was a little high, but not bad.

This just makes absolutely no sense.

My poor mother.

[FloridaJudy]

40. I'm so sorry

My condolences to you and your family. If there is any way that we can help, let us know. I'm sure I'm not alone among DU's in wishing we could help you through this.

[pitohui]

31. oh this stinks

as far as i know she would need to divorce her hubby while he's still living to protect her assets

isn't that shitty?

[Canuckistanian]

36. Have you tried your local Civitan organization?

In my area, medical catastrophes are given priority by the Civitan members.

Failing that, are there Lion's Club or Kiwanas or even Rotary clubs in your area?

[w8liftinglady]

37. not much help-but try this link

http://ask.hrsa.gov/pc/

[porphyrian]

39. Good luck. Hang in there. - n/t

[PA Democrat]

41. I'm sorry to hear that. No family should have the double

heart break of worrying about a loved one's health and also worrying about how they're going to pay for their health care.

I wish I had something to add other than what's been said so far. I'll keep you and your step-father in my thoughts and prayers.